#also Happy Christmas to everyone who celebrated lol

[goodstuffexe]

"Yeah I just look at it sometimes."

- Gem, the manic elf dream girl in her head dungeon everyone

[dangerliesbeforeyou]

no disrespect to the guy who played aladdin in the 2019 remake but if i was jasmine and marwan kenzari as jafar proposed to me i'd just marry him, regardless of how 'evil' is was or whatevs

[rhey-007]

The Family Leclerc

Charles Leclerc x reader x Pierre Gasly

Summary: Agreeing to do Charles a favor turns into hell when you meet his family for the first time and proceed to spend Christmas with them as his fake girlfriend.

(Based on "The Family Stone")

A/N: It's a LONG one just so y'know. I recently saw "The Family Stone" for the first time (LOVED IT, you have to watch it, I think I cried like 5 times lol) and an idea for this fic just randomly popped up in my brain shortly after. I've been writing this for past 2 weeks and finished it just yesterday. I hope you'll like it :)) I also wish everyone happy Christmas or whatever you're celebrating! 🎄🎉

Warnings/Tags: female reader, vegetarian reader, Atheist reader, toxic family, orphan reader - basically reader is op 😅, family fluff, toxic Pascale, mentions of sex

Wordcount: 9465

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You never thought you’d ever find yourself pretending to be Charles' girlfriend. Yet there you were, getting out of his car seeing his whole family curiously looking at you through the window. You’ve known the Monegasque for a few years already and befriended him almost immediately but never met his family. That’s why you were the first person who came to his mind when his mother mentioned bringing a girl over for Christmas. His family was tormenting him about a partner for too long, so to make them calm down he asked you for this favor, even offering you money which you didn’t accept.

The house Charles rented in Austria was quite big, big enough to accommodate the 9 of you. It was made out of wood, with a forest near by and a great view at the mountains. It literally took your breath away. Although you felt a little uneasy feeling six pairs of eyes as the two of you made your way to the door.

“Don’t let them walk over you... They might be a little... Possessive and overprotective of me...”

The man explained ringing the doorbell and soothing your back with a smile. You had to admit you felt a little nervous. Heck REALLY nervous. You've heard so many things about them on your way there, some positive and some negative. Well... Mostly negative, but just because Charles wanted you to get ready for the chaos.

“Charlie!”

His mother appeared in the door a few seconds after, hugging her precious baby tightly and shooting you a glare.

“Hi mom, this is Y/N. I told you she��ll join us”

Charles disclosed before you greeted his mother with a firm handshake. You walked inside, the man instantly helping you with your coat, then introduced you to the rest.

“Y/N those are my brothers Lorenzo and Arthur. This beauty is Carla, Arthur’s one and only. And last but not least - Carlos and his girlfriend Rebecca, family close friends. Guys this is Y/N”

You smiled cutely at the 5 and hugged them gently before Charles and Arthur left to get your suitcases and Carla showed you the room you would stay in.

“Is everything alright?”

The girl asked soon, noticing you playing with your fingers uneasily. You shook your head with a soft smile. You couldn’t tell her you expected to sleep in a different room than Charles, could you? You both would feel uncomfortable as you were just friends in reality, but maybe in this skit you had to commit to the role a little bit more.

In meanwhile Arthur initiated a conversation with his older brother about you, who didn’t really like it.

“Really? This is her?”

The younger one asked taking out your bag from the trunk.

“What do you mean?”

Charles huffed slowly getting angry. From his whole family Arthur always seemed the most tolerant, but what he was about to hear changed Charles’ opinion completely.

“Come on man! Can’t you see it?! She’s just a bimbo falling for you money!”

“What did you just say?”

The older growled gripping Arthur’s collar and pulling close to himself. The vain on his forehead was about to pop and his face was all red as his gaze pierced through his brother. No one could say such gross things about you, especially not in his presence.

“Don’t you dare disrespect her like that”

He hissed letting his brother go and walking back inside with your bag. After they brought them upstairs, Charles dismissed Carla and Arthur before closing the door and sighing heavily.

“Charles?...”

You said quietly, sitting on his bed and playing with the hem of your beige golf sweater. He turned around to you and sat down beside. His hand rested on your thigh soothing it gently while he looked at you with an asking expression.

“So uh... I-I was hoping for a room for my own... I-I don’t know like a guest room or something... If that’s not a problem of course...”

Bitting your lip softly you looked down and felt the man’s hand stop. Was he disappointed? Yes. Did he expect that? Also yes. He exhaled gripping your limb.

“I can sleep on the floor, it’s not a pro-”

“What! No! It’s your room. I should be the one sleeping on the floor if there’s no free one! ”

You cut him off and grabbed his hand, squeezing it gently.

“I can ask mom. I’m sure we’ll find something free. Now come on, let’s go eat something”

You followed the man downstairs to the dining room where Pascale and Rebecca set the table. When you eagerly offered your help the older woman completely ignored you, she didn’t even know you well enough to draw conclusions but apparently she already drew them on the porch. You wondered why though. Were you dressed improperly? If you could even call a beige sweater and black jeans an improper outfit... Maybe it was your makeup that alienated her from you. But you only wore mascara, some soft blush and lip oil...

Maybe it was Charles. Too perfect to have and don’t have a second half. Or maybe it was just Pascale hoping he would bring home someone she knew, someone she hooked him up with. You had no idea but had to know to improve your image in the older woman’s eyes and play the role of her child’s girlfriend better.

Once the table was ready, everyone sat down and said a brief pray – even though you weren’t Chistian you respected their beliefs and joined in the little act. By the time everyone started to eat you noticed your portion was just the same as everyone else’s – meatballs in tomato sauce with delicious puree and caesar salad - although you made sure Charles informed his mother you were vegetarian. You decided not to inform her by the dinner table, instead wanting to talk about it later in the kitchen alone but the blonde initiated the conversation herself when she noticed you pushing the meat aside.

“Is something wrong?”

She asked to which you didn’t respond at first, too occupied by staring at the plate. Charles’ poke got you out of trance and made look at his mother.

“Oh! Uh... N-No, everything’s alright. Why?”

“You didn’t touch the meatballs...”

The woman furrowed her eyebrows while you shrunk in your seat.

“Well uh... I-I don’t eat meat-”

Pascale burst out laughing not letting you finish your sentence, her kids following with faint chuckles, except of Charles.

“Mom, I told you million times...”

“But I didn’t thought you were serious! That’s just ridiculous! How can you live without eating meat? No wonder you look so weak”

You looked back down at your plate, not wanting to argue with her. Her words and laugh hurt you a tad, but Charles warned you she might be critical.

“Look at me when I talk to you-”

“I’m sorry to disappoint you miss but that’s who I am and you’re not gonna change that. I’m sure the meat is tasty, just as the rest, but I won’t eat it nonetheless”

You snaped not being able to hold yourself back anymore. No woman should disrespect another woman. Your words brought a smile to Charles’ lips, he was proud of you for stepping up for yourself as you never really did that, always being a shy mouse.

“I'm also not Christian but respect your beliefs and joined in your pray. So it would only be fair if you respected my eating habits- Or what I should rather call eating disorder because I am in fact deathly allergic to meat”

Pascale scoffed as if she was offended by your statement.

“That's an absurd-“

“Mom can we talk? “

Charles cut in, pointing his head towards the kitchen as he stood up. The woman rolled her eyes and followed after her son.

“Who the hell did you brought!? A vegetarian. Not a Christian. Tell me she's also a man! Or maybe she is a widow, huh? Oh Charlie, Charlie... You could do way better... “

Pascale grabbed Charles’ arms and was about to shook him when he shrugged her hands off and took a step back.

“Don't. Don't touch me. I told you she's a vegetarian. I told you so many times but of course you didn't listen. Why do you have such a problem!? You don't even know her yet! You always told me you'll respect whoever I bring home, even a man, yet you deny your words now!”

“I just want the best for my little boy... “

“I'm not your little boy anymore! I'm a grown ass man and I'll date whoever I want. Either you like them or not. So deal with it! “

Charles hissed before leaving the kitchen and joining you back in the dining room. He huffed angrily, flopping down beside you and continuing to eat without a word. An uncomfortable silence fell since he left that lasted until the end of the meal.

You felt responsible for ruining the moods of Leclerc's, especially their mother, but what else were you supposed to do? You couldn’t let anyone disrespect you like that and laugh into your face for your beliefs. After the dinner you locked yourself up in Charles' room.

“Well... That went great... “

You sighed flopping down onto his bed and whining loudly.

“Yeah... Amazing... “

The Monegasque nodded sitting down beside you.

“I'm sorry... I should have said I'm just not hungry. Maybe she would’ve let it go earlier then”

You said turning to your side and looking up at him. Smiling down at you, he brushed your hair away from your face and gazed a little too long before responding.

“It's okay... She would have to find out sooner or later... I'm sorry too. Didn’t expect she would be so possessive already... “

Charles layed down and turned his head to you, his hand grabbing yours and squeezing it gently. If he knew his mother would be THAT critical he wouldn’t have taken you with him. He cared for you too much to want to see you hurt, but his mom was too impossible to foresee even for him to predict that. He just wished that after that week you would still like to be friends with him... Maybe even more if the situation settles down and everyone calms down.

“Go take a shower and relax a little... I'll go find some mattress and set everything up... It'll be better for you to stay here. We don’t want another fight do we? “

You chuckled a little shaking your head and got up. Although you still preffered to sleep in another room, you didn’t want another quarrel with Pascale.

“This is gonna be an interesting week... “

You said before disappearing into the bathroom, leaving Charles alone with his thoughts. How was he going to convince his family and friends to like you, when the head of his family already hated you? He had no idea but had to come up with something soon, or else the Christmas would be ruined.

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Next day an excited and loud array of voices woke you up. You grumbled turning your back to the door and looking down at the floor where Charles previously slept. The mattress he layed on now cold with sheets neatly displayed on top, which meant he must have left quite a long time ago. You got up hearing the man in question call you and rubbed your eyes softly while leaving the room. Stumbling down the stairs your eyes felt heavy and with one too long blink you found yourself falling down, someone catching you quickly before you hit the floor.

“Are you okay?”

A male voice said, hot breath fanning your face and a smell of fresh mint, cedarwood and cinnamon hit your nostrils. When you opened your eyes you noticed it wasn’t Charles who caught you, the Monegasque standing beside you and the stranger holding your arm firmly.

“I-I’m okay... I just woke up and uh... I-I'm sorry...”

You mumbled pulling away from the handsome man that held you, now able to take a better look at him. He was almost as tall as Charles, had blue hipnotizing eyes, full pink lips and a gorgeous smile.

“Y/N this is Pierre, another friend of the family”

Charles introduced you to one another as you shook your hands. You had to admit the man was really handsome, even more than your ‘boyfriend’, making your eyes unable to tear away from him. Pierre smirked noticing you stare at which you blushed softly and looked away sheepishly. If he had to be honest, if not Charles he would’ve try to pick you up right there and then. You were a really beautiful gal, your ginger hair looked so smooth the only thing he wanted was to play with them the whole day, your green eyes shined like if you had stars in them and the soft freckles across your face complimented them so well.

“Look who woke up... Our sleeping beauty...”

Pascale scoffed seeing the three of you walk into the kitchen.

“Welcome Pierre”

She cooed giving the man a tight hug and a kiss to his cheek. You figured he was like a son to her, actually her favourite child as you later found out.

“Long time no see ma. How have you been? You happy with Charlie’s new girlfriend?”

He teased looking at you at which you just rolled your eyes pouring yourself a cup of warm coffee and ignoring the older woman’s response.

“Oh her? Please... He could’ve done waaay better!”

“What, why? Y/N’s a really beautiful girl and I bet she’s smart too”

The French tried to defend you but it was useless.

“She’s vegetarian. Says she’s deathly allergic to meat but I feel like that’s just a lie... And she’s not Christian. Sooner or later she’ll make my little boy convert!”

She whispered to Pierre, loud enough for you to hear.

“That’s it? Oh good thing she’s not a man!”

He joked with a loud laugh before stepping away and joining everyone by the table. You enjoyed your dark liquid sitting by Charles, his arm wrapped around your waist squeezing it from time to time as he conversed with his siblings, Carlos and Pierre. You observed the group carefully, sometimes looking at Pascale.

From what you’ve caught Carlos and Rebecca seemed the most unproblematic, which didn’t mean they didn’t talk about you behind your back, Lorenzo was the quiet one, not really joining in the conversation prefering to read his book and eat in peace, while Pierre, Charles and Arthur were the triplets of chaos with Carla and Pascale being their tamers.

You didn’t fit in with that family at all, always feeling their judging stares on yourself especially with Charles glued to your side. But there was one gaze except of his that felt different. Pierre didn’t judge your every step, his eyes were full of either admiration or sympathy whenever you looked at him, always ready to help if you needed it.

Leclerc also noticed his best friend’s weird interest in you but as much as you didn’t care he did. He felt jealous seeing him watch you with heartful eyes, touch you whenever he had a chance, constantly talk to you, and you only knew each other for a day! Charles’ gut wrenched at those moments, wanting to tear the man apart.

But why did he care so much? You were just friends after all. But he didn’t consider you just a friend. You were more, his whole world, a person he couldn’t live without. He knew that since you’ve met, trying to find a perfect moment to confess his feelings, wanting to do this on Christmas Eve.

That was also another reason why he asked you to pretend his girlfriend in front of his family. But with Pierre on his way... It would be hard. Especially if you felt too comfortable with the French man and told him the truth, then he wouldn’t hold back anymore and wrap you around his finger immediately and Charles couldn’t let that happen.

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After yet another unpleasant dinner you left to pick a Christmas tree and finish up buying presents. It was a little tradition of Leclerc’s to pick the tree all together and you felt glad they wanted you to join them, at least Charles and Pierre did. You strode through the main square holding Charles’ hand and admiring the Christmas market.

Pierre walked by your other side, getting envious every time the Monegasque pressed a kiss to either part of your body or pulled you slightly away from him. He wished he could be the one to bring you to that beautiful place on a date, to have you all for himself, for you to be his... But you weren’t and instead Pierre had to pretend he was happy for you and his best friend and it was really hard at times.

“Come on kids! Faster! The queue is already forming!”

Pascale shouted from a few meters away as she turned around and saw your group getting distracted by the various stalls.

“Queue for what?”

You’ve asked the boys, confusion clearly painted on your face.

“Santa”

They responded in unison rushing you over to the rest.

“Santa? Aren’t you too old?”

“Naaah. We’re gonna get a family picture with him. It’s another of our traditions”

Pierre cleared out with a huge smile. As you waited the two men told you about and showed you every picture from previous years, making fun of little Arthur always crying sitting on Santa’s lap.

Tears slowly started to fill your eyes at the cute stories, but you’ve managed to blink them away quickly so neither men noticed them. You wished you could’ve had such a childhood, full of fun, family and love but you guessed it wasn’t meant to be. At least now you could have some fun, even though the majority of the family hated you.

When your turn came you positioned yourself freely, you stood on the right in front of the boys almost right next to Santa, but Pascale felt like something was wrong and started to rearrange everyone. Eventually Carlos, Rebecca and Lorenzo landed on the left, Arthur and Carla sat on the old man’s laps – just as always, she took your place in front of her two favourites and you stood next to Charles almost getting cut out of the picture.

Nonetheless the photo came out great and you were happy you received one of the copies. After meeting Santa you went to pick the tree and then everyone scattered to buy presents. Charles left with Pierre, the Spaniard with his girlfriend, Pascale with the youngest and you were left with Lorenzo.

“So uh... I-I guess we’re the only ones left...”

You muttered and the man nodded. You stood in the middle of the square in complete silence until he spoke up.

“Listen uh... I asked Charlie to leave us cause I wanted to talk with you. I hope you’re not mad...”

Lorenzo looked down and started to play with his finger nervously. You started to think of all the things he could want to talk with you about but what you were about to hear shocked you.

“Oh um... As long as you won’t offend me like the rest of your family does I won’t”

“I won’t. I promise. But- Can we go to a café?”

You agreed with a quiet sigh then followed the man. He brough you to a simple but full of Christmas atmosphere café and after you ordered some mulled wine and cookies he started.

“I wanted to talk about Charles...”

“What about him?”

The man hesitated for a moment before taking a deep breath and slowly exhaling it.

“I’ve talked with him about you... I wanted to know what plans he has for the future and if he sees you there with him. He said he loves you so much that he would try his best to persuade mom to give him our grandma’s engagement ring after the holidays... I shouldn’t tell you this but I just need to know... Do you want to have a future with Charles or are you, what Arthur calls you, just a bimbo falling for his money?...”

Your face went pale at the information. You hoped Charles said it just for your skit to be more convincing but the way Lorenzo said it, all serious and without any emotions on his face, started to worry you. Trying to gather your thoughts your eyes closed and palms turned into tight fists, something you always did when thinking hard.

“Hey relax... I-It's just a question... I didn’t mean to stress you out...”

The oldest Leclerc grabbed your hands and rubbed his thumbs along them. It actually helped you relax and think of a suitable answer.

“I don’t get me wrong... I love your brother with my whole hear. I really do. But I can’t tell you if I’d say yes to his proposal. I usually don’t think about the future, just living in the moment y’know?”

Lorenzo nodded understandingly. It seemed like you’ve managed to convince him it was true, but started to feel bad for constantly lying to them, especially since Lori seemed like a really nice guy. You’ve chatted for some time when eventually he apologized for his actions.

“I also wanted to apologise for my behavior... I usually don’t act like that but as you might have noticed out mother's influence is too heavy. Nonetheless I know I did wrong offending you like the others and I'm sorry once again. Seeing my brother so happy while with you made me understand that he actually loves you and that you aren’t as bad as mom is painting you... I hope you'll be able to forgive me one day... “

You smiled softly at the man and his genuine apology. You were really glad that at least one of them apologized to you and couldn’t be mad at him.

“It's okay I forgive you”

While you conversed, Pierre and Charles run around the square looking for a perfect gift for you.

“Oh man... Couldn’t you buy something in Monaco?!”

The Frenchman sighed as they entered yet another store. This time it was a jeweler full of gorgeous sets and classy watches.

“You know well I had no time. Besides, I don’t even know what she likes. I specifically insisted on entering the market from this alley so I could see if her eyes would shine after she notices something-”

“But they didn’t. How can you not know what she likes!? She’s your girlfriend!”

“I’m not sure, okay? I want it to be something unique”

Pierre nodded and soon they started to look for something that would match your vibe. Finally the Frenchman chose a gentle, soft pink butterfly set he noticed you look at as you passed the store, later surprised Charles didn’t notice it too, while the Monegasque opted for something more bold – a silver necklace with an emerald and matching earrings. Now they just had to choose which one Charles was going to buy.

“The green matches her eyes and hair”

“But it’s too heavy for her. The butterflies perfectly match her gentle aura”

“But they’re so small and light you wouldn’t see them on her fair skin...”

Eventually Charles bought what he choose himself. Little did he know that the next day Pierre came back to buy you the set he picked. He was a 100% sure you would like his present way more than Charles’.

Was it weird he bought such an expensive gift for his best friend’s girlfriend? Maybe, but he couldn’t care less. It was the only way for him to please you. He also bought a bottle of vanilla latte perfumes as the smell reminded him of you.

If he could, he would’ve showered you in presents, luxurious gowns from the most expensive boutiques of the world, crown jewels, multiple cars... But you weren’t his, not yet.

The man felt the weird dynamic between you and Charles, it seemed like he was the only one who noticed it. Maybe you two were acting like the sweetest couple ever, madly in love with each other, but you weren’t going to fool him.

He noticed how awkward you could be whenever Charles kissed you and you never kissed on the lips, he was also the only one giving kisses, your lips never touched any part of his skin. Neither did you remember some of the most important things about the Monegasque even though he had no problem remembering yours. Pierre knew there was something going on and he was about to find out soon.

When the boys found you and Lorenzo the four of you met up with the rest in one of the main square's restaurant. You expected something expensive and exclusive as Charles usually insisted on eating out in such restaurants but walking into the premise, a warm, family atmosphere hit you.

You actually enjoyed this little change and the comfortable place itself. You took a place by a long table, Pascale and Charles on either end like the heads of the family, even though it was Lorenzo who was the oldest brother. Through time you've noticed that the quietest Leclerc was often ignored or left out, so you weren’t surprised when Charles took what should’ve been Lori's place.

While you awaited your meals, a little boy around 4 years old run up to your table with a basket of cutlery and a piece of paper with a pen on top. He handed the basket to Charles then pointed at the paper and pen. The man chuckled and signed the paper then gave it to the boy after ruffling his hair. You smiled brightly at their little encounter. When the boy was about to run away a waitress, probably his mother, stopped him and turned him around.

“Honey what do we say? “

They made their way back to your table and the little boy quickly thanked Charles before running off.

“I'm sorry, he's a little shy”

The woman explained bringing your group the food you ordered. She was tall and beautiful, had long blonde hair, ocean blue eyes, seemed around your age and clearly caught Charles' eye. It wasn’t like he immediately fell in lover with her, but he did find her attractive. She was a perfect match for him in Pascale’s eyes and she couldn’t care less that she had a kid already.

Throughout the whole dinner Pascale talked the young woman and her son up, inviting them to eat with you which the blonde had to deny due to her being at work but let her little boy join you. Soon Leo opened up and turned out to be a bubble of joy. He sat on Charles' lap eventually moving to yours when Leclerc had to use the bathroom. That’s when Pascale asked.

“So Y/N. Are you thinking of having kids with Charles? “

You choked on your drink hearing the question. Putting the glass away you coughed a little before responding.

“Well uh... I-I don't want to have kids... I'm not really a fan of them... And I'm sure pregnancy is a beautiful thing but it just scares me too much... “

The blonde laughed. She always laughed into your face when you talked about your beliefs and you slowly couldn’t stand it.

“Oh you're funny. Charles wants to have a lot of kids so it's not like you have a choice. You'll change your mind when he gets you pregnant “

“I'm sure you would love that”

You mumbled under your nose sarcastically knowing well she'd rather die than let her son have kids with you.

“It's her body and her choice mom. If she doesn’t want to have kids I'm not gonna maker her”

Charles said as he overheard a bit of your conversation. His hand squeezed your arm reassuringly. He would never make you do something you didn’t want to.

“Then you should change her for a new model! I want to have grandkids! Leo's mom is a really nice woman. Perfect for you and already has a kid so it wouldn’t be a problem for her to have more “

“Mom”

Charles sighed heavily rubbing his forehead, his hand moving to your lap and soothing it. He felt how tense and angry you were even though you didn’t show it.

“What? I'm just saying the truth-“

“You're just ruining the atmosphere. Y/N is a perfect girl for our Charlie and you should not care if she's a vegetarian, an atheist, a red head, doesn’t want to have kids, etc. etc. What matters is that she loves him and he feels happy with her”

Lorenzo stepped in getting annoyed by his mother. He had enough of her critical opinions about you as you really weren’t that bad.

“And you, Brutus, against me? “

Pascale gasped at her oldest talking back for the first time.

“Yes. I have enough of you talking bad about Y/N. We all have, as it is the only topic you seem to care about. It’s Christmas we should act like a normal, happy family we are and be glad that Charles joined us at all and not criticize his girlfriend”

“Lori's right... You went too far... “

Pierre added quietly. The rest of the dinner Pascale was quiet. She felt sad after her kids words but didn’t feel bad after hers.

Back at home the boys apologized for being so harsh and made up with their mother, but it wasn’t like she was going to be nicer to you.

“I'm sorry for today... “

Charles mumbled handing you a cup of hot cocoa with some vodka and joining you on the couch. You snuggled next to him and thanked for the liquid, then said after taking a sip.

“It's okay I understand it... She would never like me... Good think it's going to end soon... “

You whispered the last sentence loud enough for only Charles to hear, even though you were the only ones awake. Or so you thought. Leclerc wasn’t the only one that heard you. A few seconds earlier Pierre made his way down stairs to have some water and he overheard your short conversation. At first his heart ached as he noticed you two on the couch, getting jealous it wasn’t him instead of Charles, but then the knot loosened after what you've said.

“It's going to end soon”

He started to slowly connect the dots which were a good omen for him. On the other hand, Charles felt sad. He didn’t want this to end, never. The man hoped that he'd manage to make you fall in love with him in those 2 days, although you didn’t seem to change your thoughts about him yet. He had to try harder. That night you fell asleep in his arms, he took you to your shared room and layed with you on the bed. He was shocked but at the same time glad that you didn’t wake up and make him sleep on the floor.

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Waking up to finding yourself on top of Charles wasn’t the best experience. You didn’t remember much from the previous night and started to worry that something happened between you two.

For the rest of the day you tried to ignore him as best as you could, which made Pascale happy. She hoped that after your previous day's conversation, you had a talk or maybe even a quarrel with her son that slowly led to your breakup. It was difficult though. It was the Christmas Eve after all and everyone had some chores to do, sometimes landing you with him to do something or just constantly passing him by.

You didn’t intend on blowing up by the Christmas table but this time Pascale started to offend your family. A family that died in a car accident when you were little, the view of firefighters putting out the burning crashed car as you sat int the ambulance and watched everything engraved in your brain, hunting you almost each night. That was another reason why you agreed to Charles’ request. You wanted to finally spend Christmas with a family in a pleasant atmosphere. But it wasn’t given to you...

“WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM?! “

You shot up from your place and shouted on top of your lungs at the blonde.

“IT'S NOT MY FAULT YOU'RE SUCH AN ALIEN! “

“I'M AN ALIEN?! LOOK AT YOURSELF! I HAVEN'T DONE ANYTHING TO YOU BUT YOU KEEP ACTING LIKE A BITCH! ALL OF YOU DO! I REGRET AGREEING TO EVEN COME HERE! NOT MENTIONING SPENDING ALMOST THE WHOLE WEEK WITH YOU! FUCK IT I'M GOING HOME TOMORROW. I PREFER TO SPEND THE CHRISTMAS ALONE THAN WITH YOU! “

“GREAT! LEAVE AND NEVER EVER COME BACK YOU SLUT! “

You left the dining room in tears, quickly put on your coat and run out of the house. Pierre rushed after you while Charles and Lorenzo started to fight with their mother.

Pierre hopped into his car and quickly drove up to you. He softly honked at you a few times while calling your name.

“LEAVE ME ALONE!”

You shouted after stopping, mascara mixed with tears falling down your cheeks, hair disheveled and body trembling as you wore only your thigh length, red, sequin dress under the coat.

“Come in, please... You're freezing... “

After a few minutes of convincing, you got into the car and Pierre drove away.

“Where are you taking me?... “

You asked quietly, from time to time sniffling.

“Somewhere we can chill out in”

He explained squeezing your covered thigh. After you entered the vehicle he immediately took off his jacket and put it on your legs then planted his palm on your limb to assure you everything was going to be alright. Pierre parked his car in front of a bar then helped you out and inside. You ordered some drinks and filled one of the booths before chugging one after another. That's what you needed, to get drunk and forget about everything.

“Your family is hell... How do you even stand them!? “

You mumbled out with a hiccup. Your head was propped on your hand with the elbow on the table, you looked terrible, a wreck of a woman, but to Pierre you've looked more beautiful than ever. He was more than happy to have this little moment with you, even if it was supposed to end soon with you passing out. A thing he didn’t knew was that you had a really strong head and you were just a little tipsy after 3 drinks and 2 beers.

“I don’t know either... They're usually not that bad... I don’t know what happened this time”

“I happened. You can’t deny it... They just hate me for nothing and I can’t stand it anymore! “

Your free hand hit the table almost spilling your 3rd beer.

“Yeah I've noticed”

The man chuckled while you huffed unamused, your brows furrowing.

“It's funny to you? “

You hissed at which he shook his head.

“Maybe a little... “

Pierre admitted making you hit his head with a beer cap. He laughed once again this time getting one out of you too. Soon you got really comfortable with him and did what Charles feared the most.

“You know... There's something I want to tell you... “

“I'm listening”

“I'm... I'm not actually Charles’ girlfriend... We're just best friends and he asked me to come with him so you would stop asking him about a second half... Guess that didn’t turn out as he wished it would... “

You sighed melting into the couch. The man was silent for a while before he stood up and sat next to you.

“Then... You won’t be mad if I do this?... “

Looking up at him confused you felt his palm capture your chin and his finger brush along your bottom lip while gazing lovingly and deeply into your eyes. Before you could say something he connected your lips in a soft kiss, giving you time to pull away. But you didn’t. Instead straddling his lap and deepening the kiss. It might have been because of the alcohol, or just because of your mutual attraction that you soon found yourself naked in the back of his car, getting marked and taken great care of. It felt bad but oh so good... By midnight you came back home and continued your sinful ministrations in his bedroom.

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚🎄˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

Waking up on the first day of Christmas by his side you finally felt like you belonged there, belonged to the family, belonged to him. You weren’t scared, weirded out nor uncomfortable, not like with Charles. You felt as if Pierre was the one thing that was missing in your life.

“Morning... “

Soon you could hear him mumble. You looked up with a soft smile and placed a soft kiss to his lips.

“Will you drive me back home?... I'm not sure I'll be able to look Charles in the eyes after yesterday... “

You sighed resting your chin on top of his chest and played with it's hair. Pierre raised his eyebrow at you, a slightly sad expression forming on his face.

“You didn’t... Enjoy it?”

He whispered at which you shook your head.

“No, no. I enjoyed it, I really did but... I don’t know... It felt a bit wrong... “

You looked away with a sigh thinking of Charles’ reaction if he found out what you two were up to the previous night. He would've been furious with both of you most probably starting a fight and setting the house on fire and neither of you would like that.

“Stay... Just for the breakfast... And I'll drive you home in the afternoon. You still have presents to give us don’t you? “

Pierre started to rub your back and draw patterns on it, trying to calm you down and make relaxed once again.

“I'm sure you wouldn’t like them... Besides Charles can give them to you-”

“But I want to receive it from you. Not from Charles. Not from Lorenzo. From you. Please... Stay... For me... “

Looking into his eyes you saw the sparkles and hearts once again, your heart melting at the sight. You exhaled and agreed reluctantly. That family was going to be the end of you... You were about to get up and start getting dressed when Lorenzo knocked on the door and walked in right after.

“Pierre where's Y/N-“

You hid your bare chest from his view and pulled away from Pierre but was unable to say anything when Lorenzo quickly left and shut the door.

“Fuck. We're fucked. Oh my god that was a bad idea”

You rumbled while getting dressed in the speed of light. When you shot out of Gasly's room you bumped into Leclerc, patiently waiting for you to leave.

“Lori I-“

“Shhh... It's not your fault. You let him fool yourself, but it’s no wonder considering the situation you’re in. I don’t blame you and won’t tell anyone. Now, go make yourself presentable. We don’t want mom to see you like this do we? “

The man placed a kiss on top of your head before rushing you away. You were really confused with his reaction but glad as fuck that he didn’t immediately run to Charles to tell him. After you walked away, Lorenzo stormed into Pierre's room.

“WHAT THE FUCK MAN?! “

Lorenzo tried to throw a punch straight to Gasly's face but due to being way weaker, the Frenchman easily stopped him pinning him down on the bed.

“Calm down and shut up”

He hissed before releasing Leclerc.

“Are you crazy?! She's Charlie’s girlfriend! He's your bestfriend! Your family! “

Pierre rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. He knew well that what you did was wrong but he didn’t feel bad. Quite the contrary. He felt like on cloud 9 after spending the night with you. Not only because you had sex but because you could finally be alone. Just the two of you. No Pascale. No Charles. Just Y/N and Pierre.

In meanwhile you passed Pascale on the corridor. Of course she wasn’t happy to see you in the morning, but thankfully didn’t pay attention to your tired and disheveled state. Neither did the woman notice you leave Pierre’s room earlier.

“What are you still doing here? “

Turning around on your heel you took a deep breath and started.

“I decided to stay until tomorrow morning. Just for Charles. And I sincerely apologize for my yesterdays manners. I shouldn’t have shouted at you like that but your own actions aren’t the best either. I’m sorry once again “

The woman looked you up and down in complete silence before walking away without a word. The only thing she could admit she liked about you was that you were able to apologize and admit your mistakes, not like herself.

“Where were you?”

Charles asked as you quietly entered your shared room, hoping you wouldn’t wake him up but he was up all night.

“I’ve tried to reach you and Pierre the whole night. Where. Were. You. “

The man got up from the bed and slowly walked up to you, caging you between the door and himself.

“Pierre took me to a bar... We’ve spent there the whole night and came back like 2 hours ago... “

You gulped looking up at the man. Good thing you went to the bathroom and corrected your appearance before going in there or you would've been in way more trouble. Charles sighed, his hands capturing yours and squeezing them gently.

“I was looking for you everywhere... You don’t even know how worried I was... I know you were angry but you could’ve at least let me know you’re alright... Or make Pierre call me... “

One of his hands brushed your cheek as his eyes averted between yours and your pink lips. Charles wanted to kiss you so bad but figured you could be still mad and decided otherwise. Plus he was still furious at Pierre taking you somewhere without his knowledge, and if you blew up he would blow up too. Then knowing your both’s tempers the whole house would be on fire with Pascale and Arthur constantly adding gasoline.

“I know... I’m sorry... I didn’t mean to worry you, it’s just that... I couldn’t stand it anymore... I want to go home...”

A single tear fell down your cheek which Charles quickly kissed away. He hated to see you in that state, but what he hated even more was that he was the one who caused it. If he hadn’t asked you for that favor, you wouldn’t have gotten hurt. He was a shitty bestfriend.

“I love her okay? I just... I just can’t help it... “

Pierre blurted out making Lorenzo shut up and look at him in disbelief. He couldn’t believe in the Frenchman.

“You- WHAT?! “

The Monegasque threw himself at Pierre, a fight unraveling between the two, destroying almost the whole room before they flew out of it through the door, landing on the floor with a loud thump. The noise caught everyone’s attention, saving you from the too uncomfortable conversation with Charles.

“Oh my god boys!”

Pascale tried to push them away from each other before getting shooed over by Carlos and Arthur, so she wouldn’t accidentally get hurt, who stopped the fight. Lorenzo wriggled in his younger brother’s arms angrily, blood running down his nose while Pierre already calmed down a little and touched his black eye gently.

“What have you done!?”

Pascale shouted at you with anger in her eyes. Sure the fight was about you but it’s not like you caused it... Maybe not entirely but still.

“Why do you already accuse me?! I wasn’t even there! I was with Charles!”

The middle Leclerc nodded confirmingly while his arm wrapped around your waist pulling you close in a protective manner. Pierre wanted to vomit at the sight, blood boiled in his vains and he was ready to start another fight this time with Charles but knew better than that. The man just wanted the Christmas to be over so he could finally take you out somewhere and spend some time with you in a normal, nice atmosphere. Without Charles, without Lorenzo, without his family. Just you and him. Together.

“But I’m sure it’s your fault! My boys aren’t my boys anymore since you’ve showed up here! You’ve ruined them! “

You were ready to throw a punch at her and you would’ve done that if not her whole family watching you. Instead you just kept rushing Lorenzo to the bathroom to help him with his nose and talk about the fight.

“I did not expect this from you...”

You huffed angrily, sitting him down on a stool in front of you.

“This is a house of fucking madmen...”

“I know, I know. I’m sorry... But when Pierre disrespected my little brother like that I just couldn’t hold it in anymore...”

The man sighed looking up at you with those big, brown puppy eyes of his. You softly shook your head before proceeding to wipe the blood away from underneath his nose.

“I think... I need to tell you something. You just... Need to stay calm okay?”

“I don’t like where this is going...”

“I know you love your brother with your whole heart and think I’m the best lady he could have but... This is all a lie... We’re not together... We’re just best friends... He asked me to join you because he had enough of constant questions about the other half and hoped bringing me with himself would solve it... But it didn’t. Instead making even more chaos...”

You said on one breath then watched Lori’s face for any signs of his reaction. The man was quiet for a longer time before finally speaking.

“Oh... That's... That’s a pity... And... And I started to get so happy you would be my sister in law... I’m sorry that’s- that’s just stupid”

The Monegasque stood up and was about to leave when you grabbed his shoulders and sat him back down. You embraced him in a warm hug and gave a gentle kiss to his head.

“I may not be your sister in law but you can always count on me. No matter what. You’re like a brother I’ve never had, Lori”

“Stop it or I’m gonna cry...”

He hid his face in the crook of your neck while hugging you back. He felt sad that you and Charles weren’t actually together and was sorry for his brother due to his apparent attraction to you and your obliviousness.

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚🎄˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

“This morning started just incredibly...”

Pascale sighed as she sat down in her armchair in the living room. The whole group already after breakfast now waiting for Lorenzo, who was still with you, to join them so they could unpack their presents. The atmosphere was dense, you could cut it with a knife, yet you still decided to give them your presents first to have it over already. You walked down the stairs with Lorenzo, both holding a few bags, then entered the quiet living room. Taking a deep breath you started your monologue while the Monegasque handed out your gifts.

“I know you have enough of me already, so you can do whatever you want with those. Sell them. Throw them away. Heck even burn them! I don’t care. I just wanted to say sorry that I ruined your Christmas and hopefully next year everything would be way better. Without me of course. Coming here I was hoping for an enjoyable, family Christmas – one that I haven’t had since I was five, when my parents died. But it turned out how it turned out and honestly... In contrast to what I’ve said yesterday – I don’t regret joining you. I am just crazy and this was fun. You can open those now”

With that said you let them open the gifts. Each one of them received a different, knitted by you, Christmas sweater. You once saw a really old family photo at Charles’, one where his father was still alive and Arthur was just a little baby. Everyone was dressed in sweaters like those, with huge smiles on their faces and you hoped to recreate that moment before you came there.

You’ve tried your best to freshen out their designs while keeping the overall vibe of each piece, spending a lot of time on making them without Charles’ knowledge. Now you couldn’t care less.

But seeing their reactions, especially Pascale’s, made your heart break in half. The older woman started to cry, the rest following after. Some just sniffling like Pierre or Charles, too manly to show any emotions. Some cried their eyes out like Arthur and the older woman, which shocked you a lot. You looked confused between them before Carlos spoke up.

“Herve used to make such sweaters for us every Christmas... Then took million photos of us wearing them, proud of his opus... We haven’t worn such sweaters for Christmas every since his death... Thank you Y/N... It’s the best gif we could’ve ever receive”

The man got up hugging you tightly, Rebecca and Lorenzo following shortly after.

“It even looks like my first one...”

Arthur blurted out, almost choking on his tears as he looked down at the piece then back at you.

“Thank you...”

“I... I had no idea...”

You mumbled out. Your heart melted at the view and you were more than pleased that they loved them.

“I’m sorry...”

Soon you heard Pascale whisper through tears. You smiled softly and crouched down in front of her embracing her in a warm hug. The woman didn’t say anything instead hiding her face in your shoulder. You held her like that for a longer time, not saying a word not wanting to startle her, as the whole family watched with huge smiles. When she pulled away you wiped her tears away and helped her put on the sweater.

“It’s beautiful... Thank you...”

The older woman said quietly, while looking down. She was too ashamed to look into your eyes. After receiving your gift she finally understood that you tried your best to fit into their family, not trying to impose your views on them which she accused you of.

She understood her behaviour towards you was horrible and undeserved as you didn’t do anything bad to her nor her son. Quite the contrary. You seemed to make Charles even more happier than he was.

The death of her husband and constant thought of loosing her children too changed her so much she didn’t even realise she started to be toxic. And it wasn’t only to you. Earlier she was critical of every previous girlfriend that any of her sons brought home, but she was just terrible to you and nothing could justify her doings. But your heart was too big to not forgive her after her apology. You felt it was sincere and even shed a tear before hugging her once again.

After you had your little moment with Pascale, Charles got up and announced.

“Well... I guess I should say sorry too. To all of you. For lying straight into your faces... We’re actually not together with Y/N. I just wanted you to fuck off from my love life, that’s why I brought her... I’m sorry once again... “

The whole family forgave him immediately, actually being a little sad it all was a lie as they saw the fire in Charles’ eyes whenever he looked at you.

“Tell her...”

Lorenzo tried to persuade his younger brother quietly, earning a confused look from you and Pascale.

“Tell me what?”

You asked soon, too impatient to wait. You watched the man make his way over to you and sit down beside you on the floor. He captured your hands in his and gave each a sweet kiss before confessing his love.

“I love you Y/N L/N. I always did... Since we’ve met I knew you were the one for me... I can’t live without you. Without your smile. Without your laugh. Those beautiful green eyes... I just- Will you be my girlfirend? This time for real?...”

Feeling uneasy with what you’ve just heard and all the eyes watching you, you looked at Pierre hoping he’d help you. He was hurt and scared you would say yes, making your eyes water.

“No you can’t- You can’t be in love with me... That’s a joke right? Please tell me it’s a joke”

Shaking your head you felt tears spill down your cheeks and an awkward chuckle escaped your lips. It was all too much for one day.

“It’s not like I haven’t been humiliated enough...”

You stood up from your place and was about to leave when Charles caught your hand and stopped you.

“Y/N I’m serious”

“Serious!? Nothing in this house- this family, is serious! You all hate me for stupidest things ever and you dare to say you’re serious!?”

You hissed, emotions steering inside of you, slowly spilling out.

“We don’t hate you...”

Arthur said but you knew better.

“OH REALLY?! And you of all people say that. Y/N this... Y/N that... A bimbo. A heathen. A leafhead! That’s what you all think of me... You think I’m not good enough for your Lord Perceval... And I don’t want to be! I’m an alien who ruined your Christmas and then slept with Pierre!”

You shouted out without realising what you’ve just said.

“What?”

Charles confused question made you comprehend your words and cover your mouth with your hands in shock. The room felt silent, only the faint sound of clock ticking could be heard until the middle Leclerc launched himself at Gasly.

“YOU SON OF A BITCH!”

“Not again!”

Pierre shouted as they dropped out the door, this time the front ones, onto the cold and wet snow. The other men tried to get them away from one another, each failing getting hurt in proces.

“You motherfucker how could you! You’re my best friend and you fucked the girl you knew well I love!”

Soon Leclerc straddled Pierre, palms tightly wrapped around his neck trying to choke him. You’ve never seen Charles so mad, which only confirmed his words that he indeed loved you. Otherwise he wouldn’t try to kill his bestie. Finally, after the 7 of you managed to pull them away you wanted to sink into the ground and die.

“You hate me now, don’t you?”

You asked quietly, entering the room you previously shared with Charles. The Monegasque sat on the bed and gazed at something way before you came there, not moving an inch even after you sat down next to him.

“I'm sorry-“

“I should’ve told you a long time ago... “

“But it my answer would've been no different... I love you Charles, but as a brother and nothing will change that. I'm sorry... “

The man layed down and placed his head on your legs as you started to play with his hair. You've talked for a long time eventually understanding each other's feelings and that nothing would come out of it.

With time and your help, Charles has managed to move on from you. Exactly a year later, you met at the same house once again, this time in a slightly changed composition.

Charles burst in with Leo in his arms and Kate following shortly after. They greeted everyone before finally walking up to you and Pierre.

“We have a little surprise... “

You bit your lip out of excitement while Pierre lifted up his last year's sweater from tour belly revealing a baby bump.

“We think of naming him Perceval”

The Frenchman teased as Leclerc gazed at you in disbelief and excitement.

“Oh you have to call him Charles or Charlie. You owe me that! “

He joked with a loud chuckled, secretly hoping you actually would do that.

"I thought you didn't want to have kids"

Kate asked. You gazed up at Pierre with a loving look them averted your eyes back to Charles and his new girlfriend.

"I think I'm ready"

You never thought that agreeing to help your best friend would change your life 360 degrees. Yet there you were, just a year later, finally accepted in the family, carrying it's another member. You couldn’t have wished for better holidays...

[tieronecrush]

hot & heavy

epilogue: our love is going gold

neighbor!joel x f!reader

series masterlist

series rating: E (18+ MDNI)

series summary:

over the course of three summers, joel miller becomes woven into your life. the first summer is spent falling for him; nannying his daughter and sneaking around with him in a burning love affair. you know how you feel about joel, he isn’t so sure about how it all is gonna work. the second summer is brief. a month spent at home after graduation and before you move to boston for your dream job. one look at you, one time hearing your voice, and joel is hooked again. he pines over you for that month, but you think — how is long distance of over a thousand miles going to work for a single dad? the third summer, you return home burnt out and pride bruised from your post-grad life. you need time to feel at home again, like your complete self, so you’ve come back home with no return ticket booked. it’s only a matter of time before joel seeks you out, slowly spending more time with you. without an inevitable end to the summer looming over you both, what chances are you willing to take?

word count: 17.2k (but she's done. like done, done.)

warnings (**SPOLIERS**): NO OUTBREAK (don’t need to worry about the mushies), no use of y/n, inexperienced reader, age gap (joel is 30/31, reader is 22), canon-divergent (sarah is now 10 y/o), nanny au, pet names (sweetheart, darling, sweet girl, mariposa, etc.), established relationship, engagement, marriage, alcohol, eating, very lovey romantic, polite southern manners, spanish/spanglish cause joel is latino, soft joel, domestic joel, WIFE!! GUY!! JOEL!!, discussion of parenting, step-parenting, struggles with conceiving, negative self talk and image, smut, soft dom joel, fingering, oral (f receiving), joel worships the ground his wife walks on and also her body, praise, unprotected p in v (they're tryna get pregnant, not you!), breeding kink, sort of nursing kink? joel is briefly obsessed with your tits and makes comments, mating press, a flash of cumplay, the BRIEFEST mention of daddy kink, joel really wants to give his wife a baby, pregnancy, a mention of giving birth, girl dad joel, CUTE FAMILY!!!

also this is the song mentioned <3 it's a fave of mine and i think very joel & mari

a/n: this has been a doozy but happy to hand this over to y'all. this is simply what i envisioned for their future, and if you had different thoughts, i would love to hear them! <3 or if you have any headcanons for their life beyond this, drop them in my inbox! this fic and these characters are my children and i love them very much. will probably keep them alive somehow. and thank you to everyone who's read this series, you are all so special to me and have sincerely made me feel so much more confident in my writing!

as always, thank you thank you thank you @northernbluess for beta-ing, couldn't do it without you! and this extremely long ending is dedicated to el and kiwi @kiwisbell you are my hype people fr

i feel like i need to say like signing off on h&h now lol so this is me doing that & closing the book!

** this is set over three additional summers post-main story **

first of many

After the holidays, it was an easy decision to move in with Joel and Sarah. The Millers had joined your family for their annual, lowkey celebrations; spending Christmas Eve with Joel and Sarah, it was a treat to witness him playing Santa after Sarah had gone to bed. Only a few curses under his breath putting together the new dollhouse she’d requested from St Nick, the other presents from her father, and your gifts to her carefully wrapped under the tree. The two of you split the plate of cookies while watching A Christmas Story, you and Joel taking turns mumbling the words to the iconic scenes under your breaths.

The next morning, your heart was overwhelmed with the love that you hold for this family that has welcomed you in and made you a part of it. Sarah gifted you a photo frame that she’d made at school, painted with flowers and butterflies, and a photo of the three of you from the trip to the apple orchard you’d taken that fall. Once Sarah was occupied with her new treasures, gifts were exchanged between you and Joel. Requesting to gift first, you stand up from the couch and tiptoe around Sarah and her new dolls sprawled across the floor to the front hall closet and retrieve a brand new, custom acoustic guitar. 

Sitting back with him, guitar placed into his hands and his eyes combing over it, his lips part with a gasping breath when he notices in the inlay of ‘SME’ for his daughter’s name, Sarah Elena.

“The old one in the corner of your room was lookin’ a little worse for wear, and I hadn’t seen you play it in a while…” you trail off in the silence, waiting for his response, “Do you—do you like it? Is it the right kind? I tried to match it the best I could to the one upstairs.”

“Oh, Mari baby, I love it. It’s beautiful, thank you so much…” He shakes his head, taking another sighing exhale in appreciation as he turns it in his hands. “Hadn’t played the other one 'cause it wasn’t quite playable anymore. Restrung it a few too many times, the wood was warped from some water damage. The perils of having a toddler around years ago. This is…it’s perfect, Mariposa.”

You beam, shifting in your seat and anxiously fiddling with your fingers. Joel sets the instrument down next to him carefully, turning back to you. He leans in, kissing you delicately and whispering another ‘thank you’ against your lips, “Guess m’gonna have to serenade you now.”

“Oh, yeah, J. I expect one nightly,” you playfully respond, kissing him again before he pulls away, his turn to stand from his place on the couch. 

He wanders over to the tree, plucking the last wrapped gift from under it, and returning to sit next to you. Handing over the small rectangular box, you unwrap it gingerly, glancing at Joel’s knee bouncing. You gently set your hand on it, smiling at him which he returns, biting his lip to channel his jittery energy. Opening the box, you’re met with the shining gold links of a beautiful charm bracelet. Your eyes wander over the small icons, feeling your chest tighten with love as you take them all in: A small ‘S’ with a ruby-colored stone at each end of the curve, a matching ‘J’ with a sapphire embedded into it right next to the ‘S; there’s a tiny gold key, nearly identical to the one he had given to you those three summers before for your job that started it all; a tiny set of longhorn antlers that is reminiscent of home; a lighthouse that reminds you of one you visited while living in Boston, a day you had documented and sent Joel some of the photos in the mail to recap your time. It was a day you had been happy there, and it made your heart ache that he remembered that. The last charm on the bracelet is a butterfly, bejeweled with kelly green stones, the color of the leaves that you told him were your favorite years ago. The ache in your chest is worked out of its knot with Joel’s hand at your back, a gasping breath as you blink back tears.

Clearing your throat, your watery smile has a flash of worry crossing his eyes before you hand him the bracelet you’ve taken out of the box, lightly requesting, “Will you put it on for me?”

Joel nods shyly, taking the dainty piece in his hands, and hooking the clasp around your wrist after a few tries. You both admire it, your smile growing wider and his matching yours.

“Merry Christmas, Mari baby. I love you.”

“Merry Christmas, J. I love you, too.”

Now, months later, the bracelet on your wrist glints in the sun as you hold onto Sarah’s hand, letting her lead you around the atrium filled with butterflies. Spending the day at the same farm you three had visited summers ago, and had kept up with the tradition with the summers following, you picked an abundance of strawberries, wandered through the nature paths, and now ending the day at the youngest Miller’s favorite spot.

Sarah wildly points out the different types of butterflies, the encyclopedia book of the insect’s species that you had gifted her for Christmas coming in handy for today as she reads the small signs of each patterned, winged creature, adding in her tidbits that she remembers. A grin stays plastered on your face as you listen intently, paying no mind to Joel trailing behind the two of you.

Giving your lessons on the flora that you know of in the gardens, Sarah listens to you as well. Stopping in front of the small waterfall, surrounded by tropical plants and flowers, the two of you go back and forth in fun facts about plants and butterflies, unaware as Joel saddles up behind you. Sarah glances back over her shoulder and grins, the expression reading as knowing and mischievous. Before turning around, you start to warn Joel behind you playfully, “J, if you’re even thinking about pushing me or splashing me, I will ki—”

Your breath catches when you finally face him, eyes dropping to meet his; the backpack he’d be adamant about carrying all day is at his feet, unzipped, and in his hands is a small, forest-green velvet box. Joel rests on one knee, a soft but bright, devoted smile on his face.

“Oh my god…” It comes from your lips as a whisper, your free hand reaching up to cover your mouth while the other continues to tether you to Sarah at your side, her small giggle hitting your ears as Joel glances at her, sending her a wink.

Eyes back on your face, Joel clears his throat, adjusting himself on his knee as he takes a deep breath, “I have been trying to figure out exactly what to say, and I can’t seem to find quite the right words that tell you exactly how I feel about you. I love you, so much, Mariposa. The second you entered my life, that time I saw you for only seconds in your backyard while I was touring the house, I knew I had to meet you. And then the first time I met you, well, I knew that you were who I needed.

“I’ve been walking around blind, trying to figure out life for years, and moving next door to you, that was the last piece falling into place. You have made my life, and Sarah’s life, a million times better. And while these past few years haven’t been picture-perfect for us, we made it through, and I know that we can take on anything that comes our way. Eres el alma más hermosa que he conocido, y soy muy afortunada de tenerte. (You are the most beautiful soul I have ever met, and I am so lucky to have you.) I’ve been waiting for years to do this, Mari baby, and I can’t have any more summers pass by without you being mine. Tú eres mi media naranja. (You’re my soulmate.) I love you. Te amo, Mari. You’re my soulmate, sweet girl, and I can’t take another day without the promise of forever. Will you marry me, Mariposa?”

Without hesitation, you nod your head frantically, your tears that started falling as soon as Joel started speaking continue to flow. You uncover your mouth, squeezing Sarah’s hand and sharing a smile with her before she takes her hand away.

“Yes, oh my gosh, Joel…of course, of course, I’ll marry you. I love you so much, J.” You squat down in front of him, left hand trembling as you hold it out for him. He carefully takes the ring from the box, and Sarah, ever the helper, takes it from the spot where it rests on his knee for safekeeping. The delicate gold band slips onto your finger, embellished with clusters of tiny gems and centered with an emerald cut diamond. It’s perfectly you, and you can’t wipe the smile off your face as you watch Joel settle the piece of jewelry on your finger. Both of you take a deep breath, admiring the sight before your eyes find each other’s again, matching expressions of complete admiration. Your hands find his cheeks, pulling him in for a tenderly passionate kiss, attempting to breathe all the love in your chest into the kiss and his heart. Joel pulls away first, resting his forehead against yours for a quiet moment.

“Thank you, J,” you whisper, and his head tilts with curiosity.

“For what, baby? I think I should be thankin’ you for sayin’ yes to me.” He chuckles and rubs his thumb at the back of your hand, skimming next to the band of the new addition.

“Everything. For not giving up. Your patience when I was still finding my way back to you. How effortlessly you’ve welcomed me into your life and your family…” Cheating your body away, one hand reaches out to pull Sarah into the small huddle, reuniting the moment within your unit of three, “I just—I can’t wait for all my summers to be spent with you both.”

“I can’t wait either. This is gonna be the first of many, Mari baby.”

And the two of you really couldn’t wait.

Only a week after Joel was down on one knee, your family was throwing you an engagement party. Tommy, a few of Joel’s close friends from his contracting company, your college friends, and neighbors were all in attendance to celebrate the two of you, and it was a big to-do. Drinks flowing, music playing, and food was being passed around. Everything under the warmth of a Texas night and the strung lights across the stretch of your parents’ backyard. Joel was glued to your side the entire night, hand on your back or clasped in yours, grabbing your refills and whispering in your ear to make you laugh.

“So…are all of these people coming to the wedding? ‘Cause I can count about half that I have no idea who they are.”

To that, you whispered back, “I don’t know them either, so definitely not. Unless they wanna buy us the most expensive thing on the registry.” Joel laughed, squeezing you closer — if it were even possible — and pressing a kiss to your temple.

Later, once you two were far past tipsy, Joel mumbled against your ear, barely able to get the words out without drunkenly giggling himself, “D’you think Mrs. Clarke is thinkin’ m’the one that got away?”

You couldn’t contain your laughter, bursting out in the middle of the conversation happening around you two, quickly covering your mouth as the lingering hiccups escape, “I think she’s singin’ the blues about you, Miller.”

The rest of the evening was filled with small moments between the two of you; never left alone long enough to have a full conversation on your own. Whispers of love and affection breathed out, fleeting kisses exchanged. It wasn’t until the party was over, everyone dwindled out the door and back to their homes, that you and Joel took a beat to speak to each other in more than one sentence. The early hours of the morning had crept in without anyone quite noticing, and Sarah was knocked out, brought inside to sleep in your old bedroom around 10pm when she couldn’t keep her eyes open anymore. Joel now held her in his arms, her head laying on his shoulder while the three of you walked the short distance home. After your quiet goodnight to Sarah that went unheard by her sleeping self, Joel put her down, taking off her shoes and leaving her undisturbed to sleep in her clothes.

Back in the ensuite of your, now, shared bedroom, you’re lazily getting ready for bed, movements slower and lagging from the alcohol you consumed. Joel stands behind you, facing your reflection in the mirror and giving you a smile as the exhaustion catches up to him.

“You have fun tonight, sweet girl?” His vocal cords rub together in a fry, hands finding their place on your waist and drawing you back into his chest. Littering kisses at the back of your neck, he hums contently before you affectionately shoo him off to brush his teeth while you apply your skincare.

“‘Course I did, J. Spent most of the night with you, how could I not have fun?” You grin at him from in front of your side of the double sinks, gently rubbing in your moisturizer. “Have you given any thought as to when you wanna set a date for?”

Whatever he responds is muffled by the foamy toothpaste, your face twisting in confusion before he leans over and spits out, rinsing his mouth and toothbrush. Standing back up, he rests his hip against the countertop while facing you, shrugging as he smirks slightly, “As soon as possible. Baby, I’d get married to ya in a garbage dump if it meant we could get married right this second. No puedo esperar para hacerte mi esposa. (Can’t wait to make you my wife.) And I know you don’t want that, and I want to make you happy, so whenever you want, Mari. Lo que sea que desees, lo haré realidad. (Whatever you wish for, I’ll make a reality.) But I will say, summer’s kind of our thing.”

A gentle smile stretches across your lips as you step closer, hands coming to rest on his chest and massaging your fingers gently into the muscles there, “Well, how about we do this summer? I mean, I don’t want anything fancy, just something special for us. Thought maybe we could do it here, in our backyard and my parents’. Where we met and fell in love and broke up and fell in love again and—”

“I love that idea, sweetheart. Think it’s perfect for us…” Joel punctuates his work by stealing a kiss, mint and strawberry lip balm melting on his tongue when he deepens it only for a few seconds, “Think we can manage for Labor Day weekend, mi amor?”

Nodding confidently, your hands skate up to his shoulders, pulling him down for another kiss, “I believe we just set our wedding date, Miller.”

“Damn right, we did, Miller.”

A whirlwind of planning and three months later, you now stand in your childhood bedroom on the second floor of your parent’s house, admiring yourself in the full-length mirror standing in the corner. Your mom had helped you with your hair, a small gold barette holding one side away from your face; your makeup was fairly minimal, fresh, and bright, but nothing too heavy that would melt in the heat that has graced Austin this weekend.

On your wrist is your charm bracelet from Joel, a simple gold locket to match that your father had gifted you the evening before at the rehearsal dinner — it has belonged to his grandmother, and now your grandma wanted you to have it since she couldn’t make the trip down due to her age. It was your ‘something old’ he said, playing into the old traditions that seemed to charm your entire family. 

Your ‘something borrowed’ was a pair of white strappy sandals from your mom, ones that she had worn to her rehearsal dinner when she married your dad. The title of ‘something new’ belonged to the charm hanging off of your wrist that was hand-delivered to you this morning from Tommy, per the request of Joel since you both were getting ready in opposite houses. The gift box unveiled a gold lotus flower, hand painted with deep magenta petals. Inside the lid of the box was a folded note, the words written by your soon-to-be husband in his usual scrawl.

Mi amor,

Got to reading one of your books you leave around about plants, and they were talking about the lotus flower. Made me think of you — since they go back to the murky water each evening and open their blooms at the break of day. You always start fresh, sweet girl, you’re so resilient and strong and pure of heart. No matter what happens, you get through it. And you won’t have to go at it alone, baby. I’m gonna be right there with you through anything.

You make me a better man.

Te amo, mi media naranja.

J

You had to touch up your makeup after having read the note over and over for minutes straight, now fresh faced and eager to get downstairs. One last time in the mirror, you give yourself the once over, smoothing the long, full skirt of your linen dress. The ruched empire bodice lays across your chest, framing your neck with a square shape along with the cap sleeves. Simple, but it feels perfectly you. And now, you were finally on your way to get your something blue: Joel in his navy suit, waiting at the end of the aisle for you.

Everyone’s gathered in their seats, only a crowd of around forty people from your lives occupying the rows, all carefully selected to make the cut. It was easy for Joel, he had three people he wanted there for sure, and well, his daughter didn’t have a choice living right next door, plus with her dad being the groom, and you being the bride. The only chance of a wild card he had was Tommy, but he was bright-eyed and bushy-tailed this morning despite the many shots he had the night prior. At the rehearsal dinner of all places.

Dressed and gaffed, he stands at the end of the short aisle after having walked down it hand-in-hand with Sarah, who was donning a lilac dress she picked out with your help and her hair in her natural, bouncy curls. She now sits next to Tommy in the front row, whose new girlfriend Maria is sitting on the other side of him, stealing peeks over the back of the seat to try to catch a glimpse of you at the top of the deck stairs. Joel is doing the same, eyes flickering from scanning over the crowd to tunneling at the opening of the stairs. 

Music starts and it immediately tunes out of his ears, a tingle of excitement radiating from his chest throughout his body. A vision in white, you appear at the stairs with your arm linked to your dad, Mark; he isn’t paying attention to anything but you, captivated by your beauty. His heartbeat kicks up when you walk down, reaching the end of the grassy path between rows of chairs, and stopping for a moment. With the bouquet in one hand, you use the other that was resting on your dad’s arm to give him a short wave that he returns with a grin.

Each step you take brings up tears in his eyes, an overwhelming joy clenching around his heart. A few drop down his cheeks, using one of his thumbs to wipe away the streaks as you give him a gentle smile, speeding up your walk and dragging your dad along with you. The guests laugh at the eagerness, Joel rocking on the balls of his feet as he bites back his wild grin when you finally reach him. Exchanging hugs with your dad, Mark shakes Joel’s hand before clapping him on the back, a sure nod directed to him.

His hand slips into yours naturally, helping you with the last few steps to stand in front of him, exhaling a deep breath. A smile that he can’t wipe off stretches across his face, looking into your eyes as he lifts a hand to wipe his cheeks. You do the same, delicate touch against his skin while your gaze stays trained on his. Beating out of his chest, his heart thumps deeply, the wings of his butterfly fluttering madly in his gut in time with his heartbeat.

“Hey, Mari.”

“Hi, J.”

Everyone settles back in their seats, and your brother stands at the makeshift altar, a carved arbor handmade by Joel over the last few months frames the three of you in front of your guests. You turn to hand off the wildflower bouquet you put together to Sarah, eager to fulfill her responsibility of holding it during the ceremony. She grins, whispering to you loud enough for him to hear when she takes the arrangement.

“You look so pretty, Posey. I’m excited for you to marry Daddy.” Your hand reaches for her curls, squatting down in your dress to address her at eye level, unconditional love shining in your eyes as you look at his daughter.

“You look beautiful, Sare Bear. I’m so excited, too.” Other words are exchanged only between the two of you, a hug shared before Sarah retreats to her chair next to Tommy and you stand up and take Joel’s hands.

Chris ambles through an introduction, recollecting his version of events, as well as both of your sides, for how your relationship has progressed. Humor was laced throughout, laughter bubbling over throughout the crowd of guests, and especially between the two of you when you shared knowing expressions.

The ceremony moves quickly, with no religious elements to extend the length, simply secular. Before he knows it, Chris is reaching the vows, allowing a moment for Tommy to present the rings to each of you, clapping a hand on his brother’s back.

“Don’t fuck this one up, brother. Posey’s a good ‘un. Way too good for you—”

Joel cuts him off with a mumble and an eye roll, “I know all of this, Tommy, but thank you for the reminder.”

Chris directs Joel to go first, a deep inhale and extended exhale fills the air as you give his hands a reassuring squeeze. He flashes a smile at you before he drops one of your hands, finishing in his inside jacket pocket for the small slip of paper.

“I tried to memorize this, but we both know that wasn’t gonna happen…” he huffs out a nervous chuckle, reading over the page before his eyes come back to you, a patient and gentle grin on your face, “I genuinely hope you know how much I love you. I try to show you, to tell you, to make you feel it through osmosis every day, but I truly hope you can feel it. Through all that we have been through together and on our own, I have always had you in my mind. I thought about you every day you were away, and all I was hoping for was your happiness. I cannot tell you what it means that you have found your happiness with me, but I will be thanking whatever forces are out there for bringing us back together. Our roads may have been bumpy, and they may be in the future, but I’m so thankful to have you in my passenger seat. Cause we both know you don’t like to drive.” Joel winks and the crowd of guests laugh.

“I never want to let go. And I’m never going to let you go, Mariposa, I’m in it for the long run.  Eres todo para mí. (You are everything to me.) You are everything I have ever asked for, hoped for, didn't think I deserved. You are…un alma tan pura (such a pure soul) and I don't know how you ended up with me, but I'm countin’ my luck every second of every day. I love you through anything, mi Mariposa, and I cannot wait for our future together, as a family. I’m so happy that you have found a place you belong with Sarah and me, and I feel so lucky that you have chosen me. Te amo, mi Mariposa. Siempre.”

Recovering from your tears, you choke out a small sob that tugs on his heartstrings, tightening his grip on your hand while his brow furrows softly in concern.

“Happy tears, I promise, J. Very happy tears.” Another sob comes with a burst of laughter, a hand of yours fanning your face. Joel reaches up, wiping away the stragglers, careful to not smudge any of your mascara. With a deep breath, you focus back, centered, offering Joel your left hand. He repeats the phrase from Chris, who recites it from his printed-out online ordainment course before slipping the simple matching gold band onto your finger above your engagement ring, ears ringing when he sees the symbol of his love and commitment on your finger, where it will stay for the rest of his time on this Earth.

Next, it was your turn to recite your vows, Chris pulled a piece of paper from his jacket and handed it to you. A giggle slips from your lips, wavering the small folded sheet, “Couldn’t memorize it either. Got too much to say…”

Joel relaxes in his stance, thumb circling the back of your palm as he listens, the butterfly wings fluttering into his chest and up to his head, love overwhelming his nervous system across his body. You clear your throat, looking up from the wrinkled white sheet, “I didn’t know that one summer spent at home would completely send me on a whole new life path, but looking back, I am eternally grateful that I wanted to mooch off my parents for as long as possible. That first summer, I fell hard and fast, and despite the obstacles, my love continued to root deeper inside of me and grow out new branches with every memory we made together. I am so lucky to have been welcomed so easily into the Miller household, and I cannot imagine my life with you or Sarah there right next to me. You both have brought so much into my life and thanks to you, J, I feel like I have truly found myself. 

“I was always searching for what I was meant to do, who I was meant to be, and what I would leave behind in my life. And while I went out searching everywhere, the answer was my next-door neighbor. I am meant to be your person, I was meant to care and love and create a life with you, and your wonderful daughter, and I know I will leave behind all my love for you and our family behind. My success does not need to be measured by the reach of my impact, but by how deeply I love you. That is all that matters to me, to make you feel loved and supported and to know how incredible you are. You mean the world to me, and I love Sarah as if she were my own; both of you are my best friends and I could not do this life without you. I am so excited to spend the rest of my days, and the rest of my summers with you, J. I love you. Forever.”

The same routine goes for you, slipping a gold band around Joel’s left ring finger. He flexes with the new accessory on his hand, admiring it before he looks at you, a wide and wild grin crossing his face as he listens as Chris starts to ask him that very special question, “Joel, do you ta—”

“Absolutely I do. No question.”

Laughter rises from the attendees, and you, playfully roll your eyes. Chris nods shortly, chuckling as he turns to address you with the same question. He states your name, inquiring, “Do you ta—”

“Of course, I do. Only been waitin’ years for this to happen.” 

Joel laughs, shaking his head as he mumbles a sweet agreement, “You and me both, baby.”

Chris drops the papers he was reading from next to him on the grass, clasping his hands together, “Well, that made it damn easy for me. With the power vested in me by apparently the state of Texas, but who really knows, I now pronounce you husband and wife. Now y’all can kiss finally.”

A hand presses against the small of your back, pulling you into his chest as he folds down, latching your lips to his in a deep kiss, all of his love pouring into the moment. It takes restraint to not take it further in front of everyone, your intoxicating taste drawing him in and quenching a perpetual thirst he has. You lean back first, fingertips digging into his shoulders to hold him off as you whisper, “Gotta keep some decorum until tonight, Mr. Miller.”

“Hard to do that with you, Mrs. Miller,” he rasps back, matching blindingly bright grins across your faces as you right yourself, turning to face your guests as your brother loudly announces.

“For the first time, Mr. and Mrs. Miller!”

With the low-key, intimate wedding that you both had planned together, there was no real formal separation of the ceremony and reception. Instead, everyone wandered over to the backyard of Joel’s home, which was now yours, too. There were rented tables set up with chairs around, no seating chart, and a checkered dance floor set up in the middle of the lawn. Lights have been strung from his deck to the tree at the back of the property line that holds Sarah’s tire swing, some lanterns strewn about to add more light as the sun sets in the later evening. 

The family-favorite restaurant in the city that the three of you have frequented, even as friends, catered the meal, and your parents, ever so prepared, had stocked up all summer with booze. Your dad plays pretend bartender, getting your now-husband behind the tablecloth-covered folding table and pouring heavy drinks and somehow heavier shots. By sundown, everyone was liquored up enough to cheer for you both to have a first dance, chanting their request over and over.

Joel looks at you from his spot next to you, eyebrows raising in question. His hand at your back draws you closer, starting to sway to whatever song is playing as he grins with a looseness to him, relieved to have you as his for good and relaxed from the alcohol in his blood. “C’mon, Mari baby, I wanna dance with you. M’wife. I got the perfect song.”

“Okay, okay, you go tell Chris what song you want and see if he’s got it on his iPod.” 

You push Joel along, giggling to yourself as he shuffles over to Chris, the makeshift DJ for the evening. Joel leans in, talking in your brother’s ear over the music currently playing. They exchange a smile and nod, Joel laying a hand on his shoulder and shaking it affectionately. His beer gets abandoned on the nearest surface, giddily running over to you and taking your hand. Impatiently, he pulls you to the center of the dance floor, and Tommy intercepts your drink before it sloshes all over the front of you, huffing out a disbelieving breath as you continue to drag behind Joel.

Your husband turns you in his arms, one hand finding your back as the other lifts your joined ones toward his shoulder, elbows bent. Everyone else clears the dancefloor as an upbeat guitar riff sounds out of the speakers surrounding the dancefloor, the bright drums kicking in as Joel starts to shuffle the two of you around the dancefloor, a swing to your movements again.

The familiar lyrics of Orleans’ Still the One that Joel has sung to you many times over the last year are recited right back to you, making you reminisce about the time you were driving in the car to pick up Sarah from camp, a rare afternoon that both of you had off together. The song had come onto Joel’s favorite classic rock station, perking him up in his seat as he turned the volume dial up.

“Oh, Mari baby, this is such a great song.”

Not as familiar with it, you listen, giggling as he sings along with his words pointed at you, and you had to admit, they were pretty sickly sweet. Ever since then, Joel got into the habit of singing it to you, learning to play it after he received his new guitar from you at Christmas.

Dancing with him now, under the sticky heat of the tail end of Texan summer, surrounded by family and friends, he makes you feel as if it’s only the two of you again like it was for every other moment before with this same song.

In your ear, he sings along only for you, pulling away and twirling you as y’all take over the entire dancefloor with how free and loose you’re playing it. “You’re still the one that makes me laugh…still the one that’s my better half…we’re still havin’ fun and you’re still the one.”

At the next chorus, you join him in singing along, laughing at his excitement, both of you singing along louder. The song reaches the guitar solo, and Joel takes both of your hands, swinging you out from his chest before pulling you back in; he spins you to cross your arms in front of you, and your back to his chest before twirling you out. On the last line, when the final word is dragged out, he wraps his arms around you, spinning both of you around until the final chord strikes, setting you down and chests heaving to catch your breaths. Wide smiles still find your open mouths, cheers and whistles from the guests gathered around the dancefloor, now filling the checkered floor as the next song plays.

Breathless, Joel grins madly, shrugging his shoulders nonchalantly before asking, “Think we did pretty damn good for unplanned, don’t you, Miller?”

“Damn right, we did, Miller.”

The rest of the evening was all the same, a night spent with your closest family and friends all celebrating the two of you and your love. Both you and Joel shared a dance with Sarah separately, relishing in her unbridled joy and Joel comforted his daughter when she shed a few tears about how happy she was. Your dad pulled you for a short jaunt around the dancefloor, and Joel asked your mom for a dance, which she accepted happily as a stand-in for his mom.

More drinks flowed into glasses and out of bottles, your shoes kicked off and Joel’s jacket and tie discarded onto the back of a chair somewhere. Your cheeks ached from how much you were smiling and laughing the whole time, a weight lifted, the promise of forever with your favorite person now on its way to being a reality.

You both ceremoniously cut the small single-tiered cake that your mom ordered, serving the slice on a plate. Grabbing a piece with your hands, you cheers it with Joel’s, watching as his went into his mouth and laughing as yours went across his cheek. He feigned shock, shaking his head as he looked at you with a glint of mischief in his eyes, taking a step closer. A turn on the ball of your foot directs you in an attempt to get away; failing miserably, misstepping from your level of drunkenness, Joel catches you in his arms. Turning you back around to face him, he steals a purposefully sloppy kiss, buttercream smearing against your lips and chin, the taste of vanilla coating your tongue as it melts into the taste of Joel, whiskey, beer, and sugary sweetness from the dessert.

At the very end of the night, most guests in cabs home or retreat to their homes down the street, it’s left to your closest people. The last song of the night is announced by Chris, the same song that has come up again and again for the two of you trilling over the speakers. Everyone dances and sings along to American Pie, the perfect cyclical moment for the two of you, and the closing moment of your summer. Sarah dances with the two of you, laughing as Joel twirls her around, infectious smiles on their faces. 

Your heart grows in your chest, nearly to the point of bursting as you take a step back in your mind, taking in all of the moment as it surrounds you. In the backyard of your new house, the next chapter of your life starts with Joel and Sarah; right next door is your childhood home, full of love and memories with your parents and brother. Even through the hardships, these places and people have never stopped feeling like home.

The song finishes with a flourish, Joel tucking you into his chest after he scoops Sarah into his arms with a soft groan. Sarah lays her head on her dad drowsily and he presses a kiss to her forehead, mirroring the same on yours; a mumble against your skin is barely heard by you, his drawl exaggerated by the liquor, “Mi Mariposa y mariposita. My lil’ Bug. Love my girls so much.”

Tommy slides sleepy Sarah into his arms from Joel after you two say goodnight to her, the younger Miller brother already prepared the arrangement for her to stay at his on the night of your wedding. You reassure her the promise to meet at Waffle House in the morning, which will likely be the afternoon with the state of the adults. Maria, the designated driver, and Tommy, much closer to sober than drunk than you were expecting, send another congratulations your way before they’re off to the car with Sarah.

After the necessary sweep of cleaning is done between you two and your immediate family, food, drink, and lanterns gathered, they part ways, taking everything back to theirs to deal with in the morning along with striking down the tables, chairs, and dancefloor. In the quiet of the early morning hours, you and Joel stand with your arms around each other, swaying gently. Cheek to chest, Joel’s voice rasps from overuse, vibrating your ear pressed against him, “Was it what you wanted, sweet girl?”

“Everything and more, J. I loved it,” you say as you pull your head away, tilting your chin to look into his eyes, “And I love you, m’husband.”

“I love you more, m’wife.” He shakes his head, biting a smile back, “Don’t think m’ever gonna get tired of callin’ you that, Mari.”

“Me neither. Gonna be callin’ you my husband instead of usin’ your name,” you flirt as your smirk grows and he wiggles his eyebrows, hand drifting down to the curve of your ass.

“Guess we better test that theory, baby.” He grins as he bends his knees, lifting you over his shoulder. His other hand rests on your ass to balance you, your hands pressing against his lower back as you shriek slightly from the initial shock. “Want the whole neighborhood to know m’your husband now. Even if they weren’t invited, so you better be loud, m’gorgeous wife.”

He walks you both up the stairs and through the backdoor, your snort echoing in the quiet of the night, pulling out the ol’ faithful from the early days with him, “Yes, sir.”

second nature

“What do you think about getting a dog?” you ask from your seat on the bed, propped up against the headboard with a book in your lap. Joel pops his head out from the en-suite, brow quirked as he continues to towel off his hair and laugh softly.

“Can’t say I’ve thought about it, darlin’.” He disappears again, hanging his towel on the back of the door before coming back out of the bathroom with a clean pair of boxers on, washed up from his long day on-site. “Have you been thinking about getting a dog?”

A sheepish grin stretches across your face, shrugging your shoulders as Joel gets into bed. He matches your position, leaning back against the headboard and turning his head toward you. He’s intrigued. If he wasn’t, he’d tell you that you could talk about it more in the morning, and then he would give you his honest opinion in the light of day. Never wanting to start a silly argument before bed, always attempting to keep the peace.

Which made him great at compromising. To what you wanted in the first place.

“I’ve been thinking it would be nice for Sarah. Like something to learn responsibility — teaching her to feed it on schedule and take it for walks and fill the water bowl.”

“Yeah, it’ll teach her that I’ll take on all those responsibilities when she gets bored of it,” your husband snorts at his own comment, making you roll your eyes playfully and scoot closer.

“Oh, c’mon, J. Don’t you think it would be fun to have a dog around? We wouldn’t even need to get a puppy if you think it’s too much. But I work at home nannying baby Amelia so I’d be around all day and then when Sarah gets home from school or camp, she can take him or her for a walk. And then feed it before you even get home. Oh! Or you could take the dog to work with you! How cute would that be, you could train him to grab your tools for you.” 

A contagious smile brightens your face in the low lamplight, one that Joel can’t help but mirror on his own face. The eagerness is evident in your expression and your voice, and the proposition doesn’t seem like it would be too difficult of an adjustment. Shaking his head at your suggestions, he laughs quietly while reaching a hair up to smooth your hair away from your face.

“Are you gonna be the one to teach it what all the different screwdrivers are?” 

An excited gasp exhales and you scramble to straddle Joel’s lap, “Wait, are you serious? You’re actually okay with getting a dog?”

Wrapping your arms around his shoulders, you lean back to look at his face. His hands find the curve where your thighs melt into your ass, squeezing gently. Always handsy.

“Yeah, baby, we can get a dog.” Joel groans dramatically when you pull yourself tight against him, hugging him while on hand rubs back and forth at the base of your spine. “I’ve got some conditions though.”

Unraveling from his neck, you stay perched in his lap, nodding fervently. “Anything. Whatever you want, if it means we get a dog.”

“Oh, anything?” he teases with another squeeze of your bum, laughing when you shoot him a look.

“Not what I meant, Miller. Get your mind out of the gutter.”

“Can’t help it with you, sweet girl. My mind’s always in the gutter around you.” The sentiment is punctuation with a tender kiss to your lips and one to your forehead. Calloused palms skate along your bare thighs, humming contently, “Conditions are: has to be a big dog. Don’t want one of those little white dogs or like something that’ll break if we have babies and they’re a little rough with it.”

The forethought he has for your future children warms your heart, and you agree immediately, “Deal. Didn’t want a little dog anyways. What else?”

“Gotta fence in the backyard. I don’t mind putting in a gate for us and your parents to easily go back and forth through, but I don’t want the chance of the dog gettin’ out when we’re all outside.”

“Totally understandable. I’ll even help you install the fence,” you offer proudly.

“That’s real sweet, Mari baby, thank you. You don’t gotta lift a finger though, I’ll bring some of the guys over and pay a little extra and we’ll get it done in a day, no problem.”

“Alright, so big dog, fence. Anything else you’d like to negotiate, Mr. Miller?” you mock a formal tone, turning your nose up. Joel laughs, tightening his arms around your waist and tugging you closer. Kisses press into your neck and along your jaw, pausing inches away from your lips as he makes his final request.

“Dog sleeps in Sarah’s room or downstairs. I like our privacy.” He smirks before kissing you deeply, easily flipping you onto your back and hovering above you. Your legs hook around his waist and he raises his eyebrows, “That all sound fair to you, Mariposa?”

“Absolutely it does. Guess we’re getting a dog, ri—” You’re cut off by his lips on yours again, pressing you further into the mattress with his body weight.

“Let’s save the rest of this for the morning,” Joel mumbles against your skin as he trails his mouth down your neck to your collarbone, “‘Cause right now, I think I’d rather get some pussy.”

He doubles over in laughter at his own joke, forehead pressing against your chest as his shoulders heave. Your fingers comb into his hair, unable to fight quiet chuckles of your own no matter how hard you try to not give him the satisfaction.

“God, you’re such a dork.”

The clock rolls to 3pm as you sit in your car, lined up along with parents of campers. Shrills of laughter and screams echo from the bright, primary-colored playground across the way, counselors attempting to corral the kids to lead them out for pick-up. Air conditioning blasts on you as you fan at the back of your neck, exhaling in the sweltering Texan heat. It’s only the beginning of summer, June barely having turned over, but the temperatures have reached record highs for the year already.

Your stepdaughter. The thought still makes you smile months on, the dynamic between the two of you falling naturally into a closer, more nurturing relationship. Little acknowledgments from Sarah have made your heart sing over the days; routinely saying goodnight to you along with Joel, asking you for permission to go play outside, seeking you out nearly as much as Joel when she has had a nightmare. The pair of you have built routines of your own before bed, you making a promise to Sarah to read with her and to show her your favorite books from when you were her age.

A few nights ago, Sarah had retreated with you to her room, at least thirty minutes before her bedtime to get in another chapter of Matilda by Roald Dahl. The main character reminded you of Sarah’s sweet and spunky personality, and you were so excited that she fell in love with the story and its characters as quickly as you did when you read it for the first time.

Sat up against her headboard, Sarah laid back in your arms and cracked open the novel where her bookmark stuck out, started to read aloud to you in the low lamplight. Mindlessly, you played with her hair as you listened to her confidently recite the words from the page. The day caught up to you, the peaceful moment pulled a yawn from your lungs. Sarah’s words slowed down, her eyes slowly blinking until they closed, which was your queue to slip the book from her hands and mark the spot, and laid it on her nightstand.

When you tried to slip out from behind her to leave her to sleep soundly, she stirred, mumbling the sweetest, “Will you stay for a little bit, Posey?”

And you had no choice but to oblige her request. After getting comfortable next to her, Sarah curled into your side and you pressed a kiss to her forehead, continued to play with her hair to soothe her back to sleep.

What you hadn’t realized was that you also drifted off in her twin bed with her, the lamp still on. Joel was watching TV downstairs, waiting for you to retreat down the steps as you do every night, but no sign of you after an hour had him standing up to go searching. It was quiet when he reached the top of the stairs, no telling giggles or loud whispers to give the two of you away. 

He pushed open the cracked door of Sarah’s bedroom, and was met with a sight that squeezed his heart tight, a sigh exhaled from his lungs. You tucked right next to his little one, and both slept deeply. Without disturbing your rest, he tiptoed over to the nightstand, tugged the blanket up over both of you before he hovered above the bed to press a gentle kiss to each of your foreheads. 

Lamp clicked off, he whispered to your unconscious ears, “G’night, girls. Love you two.”

It was a few hours before your usual alarm when you’d woken up, sore from the small space and glanced around the dark room to discover you had fallen asleep next to Sarah. Carefully slipped out from the covers, you tucked her back in and padded down the hall to your bedroom where Joel was sleeping, a soft snore came from him as he’d starfished out on the mattress. You gently shook him half awake to move him, and he groaned softly at the disruption before he tugged you into his chest and pressed a drowsy kiss to your shoulder.

“Was jus’ too cute to wake you up, Mari baby. My Mariposa and my lil’ Bug…” He hummed sleepily into your skin, hand gently rubbed circles in your lower belly while your eyes close, desperate for those last few hours of slumber. “Makes me so happy.”

“Me too, J. M’so, so happy she’s that comfortable with me. My baby best friend. And you’re my big baby best friend…” You breathed out an airy giggle and Joel protested weakly behind you, a gentle pinch to your side before you both exchanged a quick “love you” and drifted right back off.

The reminder of the sweet moment in the morning from Joel was the highlight of your week.

Climbing out of the car, the engine running and door open, you round the front bumper and stand on the curb to wait. You find her before she finds you, calling out to her to grab her attention, “Hey, sweet pea!”

Her familiar deep brown irises search for the source of your voice, landing on your face and waving excitedly. Sarah checks out with her counselor for the day, scurrying over to you with her backpack bouncing at her shoulders.

“Hi, Posey!”

She collides with your torso, her growth spurts finally starting over the last few months so the top of her head hits just at your chest, and nearly knocks the wind out of you. Patting her back, you laugh and pull her back to look her in the face, “Well, hello to you too, Sare Bear. How was camp today? You ready to go?”

After your greetings, she climbs into the backseat on the opposite side of Amelia’s car seat. You store her bag in the passenger seat with yours before retreating around to the driver’s side, heading off once both of you are secured in your seatbelts.

Flicking your eyes up in the rearview mirror, the two of you catch up, which mostly consists of her recapping the camp activities and excitedly talking about the pool day that’s planned for Friday. As you turn onto your street, Sarah’s brow furrows at the sight of Joel’s truck in the driveway.

“Dad’s home already? That’s weird.”

“Hm, I guess he is. Or maybe he’s just stopped by to grab something he forgot. You know how he is.”

Sarah laughs in agreement as you park your car next to his truck. Both of you get out and head in through the garage, straight into the kitchen where Joel’s standing at the counter eating a sandwich.

“Told you, Sare, stopped by ‘cause he forgot something. Lunch.” You send him a teasing grin as you deposit Sarah’s bag by the door and kick off your sandals. She does the same before wandering past her dad to the fridge in search of a snack. Apple doesn’t fall far.

“What? I can’t happen to drop in hoping to see my wife and my daughter in the middle of my work day? Do I have to have ulterior motives?” Joel speaks, words muffling around the bite in his mouth as you approach the island to stand opposite him.

“Dad, you literally always ask ‘What’s for dinner?’ or ‘What’s cookin’?’ after you say hi to us every day. Your motivation is always to get some food,” Sarah chimes in from in front of the fridge, laughing when Joel looks at her offended.

“See? Even a ten year old recognizes the pattern of behavior,” you confirm your findings, laughing as Joel grumbles to himself and pops the last bite of his sandwich in his mouth.

“Well, for your information, both of you, I am here for an entirely different reason than lunch and to see you two.” He crosses his arms in front of his chest, looking between the two of you with a mischievous smile on his face. “Why don’t y’all go look in the living room and then tell me if you wanna keep makin’ fun of Dad?”

Sarah excitedly starts off toward the living room, giddy about the surprise awaiting her. Your brow furrows and lips twist up in curiosity, eyes staying glued to Joel. He laughs and nods to the other room, a bright smile on his face.

“Better go see, mi amor. Think you’ll want to meet him.” Joel winks, your attention being pulled away when you both hear Sarah gasp from the living room.

“Oh my gosh! Posey, come here! Aw!”

That’s when it registers — the surprise, home in the middle of the day, the smirk, ‘you’ll want to meet him’.

“You didn’t,” you breathe out, head snapping back to Joel as he gives you a wide, genuine grin.

“Go! See for yourself.” He rounds the island and grabs your hips from behind, guiding your steps into the living room. Sarah’s giggles fill the room as the fluffy Bernese Mountain puppy stands in her lap and licks at her face. The small dog’s attention is pulled from her and over to you and Joel entering the room, a tiny bark sounding before he scampers over.

“Joel, oh my god, how did you—when—oh my god…” You kneel down to scoop up the little one into your arms and cuddle it gently, giving it pets before letting him run around again.

“Found someone who had a litter with their family dogs the day after we talked about it. And arranged to pick him up. They said he’s the energetic one, and that he’s gonna be a big boy. Like a hundred pounds.”

“Oh my god, he’s so sweet…thank you, J.” You beam up at him, waving him to bend down and steal a kiss, squeezing his shoulder.

Sarah’s playing with your new family dog, tugging with a rope toy as he fights back with his whole little body. “Thank you, Dad. He’s so cute!”

“What should we name him?” Joel asks as he lowers himself to the floor next to you, smiling as the puppy runs over. The two rough house, Joel easily flipping him over to scratch at his belly as the dog pants happily.

“Any ideas, Sare?” you ask, looking over at her.

She thinks for a moment before looking up between Joel and you, laughing at the tiny pup’s antics, “What about Goose? He just seems like one. Like a silly goose.”

“Goose? I like it, Bug,” Joel confirms, turning to you with a grin, “How about you, Mari?”

Nodding, you look at the new addition to the family, burning bright with happiness at your people’s excitement, “I think Goose is a perfect fit. And now you’re not outnumbered anymore, J. Two girls and two boys in the Miller household.”

Sarah laughs and lays down to cuddle with Goose while Joel moves closer to your side, wrapping an arm around you and kissing your head as he quietly whispers, “Hopefully won’t be too long before the boys are outnumbered again.”

“And what makes you say it won’t be us girls being outnumbered?”

“Call it father’s intuition. Wouldn’t know what to do with a little boy, bein’ a dad to another girl would just be second nature. Plus, I would want a mini Mari running around the world.” Joel presses a kiss to your temple before you turn your head, catching his pursed lips with yours sweetly.

“I’d take anything if it means havin’ a little piece of you forever, J.”

third time lucky

Negative.

A single line, bold and brash, stares back at you. Turning the plastic in your hands, you attempt to read it at different angles, the smallest bit of hope lingering for another line to appear — that it was a trick of the light that was causing your disappointment.

To no avail, the blue strip remains unaccompanied in the small window. A sinking feeling fills your body from your toes up. Everything feels heavier, except your lower stomach. That has never felt as empty as it is now.

Heavy footsteps thump a vibration in the floors, but your focus remains on a speck of dust floating in the light past your field of vision. His presence hangs in the bedroom, milling about, unknowing of what you were up to before he came in from mowing the lawn.

“Hey, baby, m’gonna take a shower and then we’ve got Sarah’s softball game at three. Probably half to leave here around two, her coach asked all the parents to be thirty minutes early for some reason…” Joel’s voice fades in your head as your thoughts start to yell, scream, fight, taunt inside of your mind.

A hard swallow pops your ears, the ringing in them growing louder as your mind begins to wander. The test is left discarded on the bathroom counter, with no heart yet to throw it in the garbage where the others have ended up. Your bare feet shuffle against the rug as you seek out solace under covers, even in the ninety-plus-degree heat. The springs of the mattress shift under your weight, lying on your side facing the opposite side of the bed that lays empty right now. The coverlet is pulled up over you, curling your fingers at the hem tightly, white knuckle grip to release some of the tension that has taken over your mind. You want to scream, cry, yell, question — but what you want most of all is to be able.

Why aren’t you able? Why can’t you do what your body is made to do, what it begs for, what it reminds you that you’ve failed at every month?

Joel stands in observation of you, careful distance, one hand lifting before he drops it. He can guess what this is about. What you’ve left behind in the en-suite. But to confirm his suspicions, he quietly walks into the tiled room, leaving his clean clothes on the counter while he picks up the test.

Negative.

His body sinks, toes up to his head, but with a gaping, empty feeling in his chest. There’s so much room left in his heart, room he is eager to fill with another part of you, another love, another soul to protect. Now, though, all of his emptiness is filled with an ache for you. You’ve been dreaming out loud for a year now, wonderings and visions shared with him late nights and early mornings — Will they have his eyes? You hope so, so that they look like their sister. Who’s ears would they have? What quirks will they pick up from both of you? Who will they grow up to be? How will we be able to contain our love for both of our kids?

Our kids. Joel remembers that night; after you said that, he couldn’t hold himself back, couldn’t contain his love for you. No hesitation that his own was yours now, too. All he wanted was to give you another, to see your belly grow and your smile brighten and your skin glow. He was begging for whatever power was in the universe for that time to take, for both of you to be gifted with what you wished for so often, so deeply.

Desperation. Wavering confidence. Sorrow, worry, dwindling hope. He saw it all over you, time after time when the single line appeared on the plastic sticks.

You and Joel had been trying for a year. A long year. Maybe your desire was too strong, too overpowering. But shouldn’t that be a sign of your love? For each other, for your family? All he wants to do is give you the life you’ve wished for. And yes, all you’ve said you want is a life with him, but anyone who meets you would be able to tell you are meant for a nurturing life. Meant for motherhood.

It was already natural for you, taking a ten-year-old in stride, making her into your best friend — making her a priority over Joel most of the time. He knew it didn’t matter to you that she wasn’t yours, biologically speaking, but he can’t help but want to give you a child that is part you. How badly he wants another piece of you in the world, all of your goodness packaged into the purest soul.

Resigning with a sigh, he sets the test down on the cool countertop and exits the bathroom, a slow stride over to your lying form. Crumpled under covers. With a soft groan, he lowers himself to his knees with cracks popping his joints. His age is starting to show the closer he gets to forty and the more hours he works in the summer weather, another looming factor for him — he’s only known being a young dad. If you two have to wait, what would it be like to be nearly sixty when your kid graduates high school?

Shaking the superficial concerns from his head, his wide palm glides along the quilted fabric draped over your side. He rests his chin on his opposite arm, laying against the mattress close to your pillow. At the coax of his touch, you turn over to face him. Lips pursed in a frown, dried watery streaks being washed anew with your fresh tears, fat and rolling down your cheeks and over the bridge of your nose. They drip off of your skin, dotting and darkening the fabric of the pillowcase underneath you.

Joel leans in, brushing your hair from your face and pressing his lips to your forehead for a lingering kiss. A deep breath draws the smell of your shampoo into his nose, down deep into his lungs where it soothes his aching chest.

“Mari, sweet girl, I know it’s hard. I know we want it so bad, but there’s always another option,” he speaks softly, kindly, delicately, “We can go to that fertility specialist your doctor recommended. I promise, mi amor, we’ll have a baby together.”

He means it, and you can tell he means it. Ever since you had been back together, ever since he confessed his feelings for you — years ago now — he hasn’t made an empty promise. From tiny little things like a pledge to stop on the way home for your favorite ice cream, going to three different stores and adding nearly an hour to his day simply to show up with it for you, to larger, grander oaths, his wedding vows, the promise of building a beautiful life with you.

Emotion is thick in your throat as you attempt to vocalize your concerns. They keep you up at night, with Joel’s warm and expansive hand resting on your stomach right above your womb as he sleeps soundly. He wants it clearly as much as you do; you can feel it each time you’ve tried. How badly he wants to provide this for you.

Is he having the same thoughts as you? Does he wonder if something’s ‘wrong’ with you?

“I wanna be able to do it. Why can’t I do it on my own?” The sound of your meek voice shatters his heart and he shakes his head back and forth, adamant in shutting down the thoughts.

Tugging the covers down, Joel’s hands find your exposed skin, sliding across with a clammy touch from his labor outside. And nerves, too, you’d guess. Moving from his knees on the floor next to the bed, he finds a spot sitting at your side and shifts you to lay on your back. Opening up to him. Warmth rests over your womb, blanket pulled down to the tops of your thighs while his thumb brushes at your stomach, catching on the fabric of your shirt.

“No—oh, mi Mariposa, you don’t even know if it would be you with an issue. Very well could be me. Maybe breathin’ all the paint fumes at work killed m’little swimmers.” He breathes a small laugh through his nose, attempting to lighten the mood.

Your hands fly up to your face, muffling your voice, “Oh, god, don’t say that. I wanna have your baby, not some sperm donors.”

His hand coasts up your torso, over to your side to wrap around your rib cage, feeling your breaths as his fingertips lightly tickle the spot, “That was supposed to make you laugh, sweet girl.” 

Hands falling away from your face, your brow pinches together and your frown deepens. About to make a retort, your mouth open, Joel skates the fingertips of both his hands up and down your sides, alternated on each side of you to make it harder to catch his wrists. Laughter bubbles up from your chest, your frown morphing into a flashing smile before you’re calling for a surrender in between gasping breaths.

Relenting, his hands stop, settling at the curve of your waist. He leans over you, nudging his nose against yours before pressing a ghosting kiss to your lips. A small grin, hopeful and reassuring, with a tinge of worry flickering in his irises, barely there before his smile reaches his eyes, “It’ll happen for us, Mari baby. Why don’t we say, one last go before lookin’ into the doctors? We’ll do all the things, track whatever we need to track. I’ll drop whatever I need to come home and put a baby in you.”

Joel wiggles his eyebrows, playful smirk crossing his expression. You roll your eyes under him, pushing an accusing finger into his chest, “Like you don’t already do that. I could call you in the middle of work and just go ‘Hey, J’ and you’re in the truck on your way home.”

“That’s right, Mari. As it should be. Y’know what they say — happy wife, happy life.” Another kiss to your lips, this one a bit more savoring. “What d’ya say, mi amor? One more go?”

“Okay, yeah. One more go.”

Butterflies kick up in your stomach when you hear the low rumble of Joel’s truck cut, heavy door swinging closed and quick strides following. The front door opens after a short jingle of keys, shutting behind him with the slide of the lock back into place. Distant grumbles of his make you laugh, his frustrations with his work boots floating upstairs to where you’re sitting on the edge of your bed, leaning back on your hands. Clad in only your bra and panties, you work your bottom lip between your teeth as anticipation builds with each of Joel’s footsteps up the carpeted stairs.

You both only have the afternoon — less than an hour of your afternoon, actually — to make your last attempt. Already having taken advantage of the window in your cycle twice, the peak day of your ovulation fell, of course, during the busiest time of year for Miller Construction. Summer has come to a close, and now people have picked up their home improvements to start nesting for the winter; a craving you’ve been having yourself, desperate to make your home larger and livelier by one more. Joel has snuck away for a moment that you two have alone, and you’ve told the couple you nanny for that you have an immovable appointment for today.

Pretty sure the only thing that will be immovable today will be you once Joel’s hour is up.

 “Mari? Mi amor?” he calls out and you chuckle softly at the boyish excitement in his voice.

“In the bedroom, J!”

Joel rounds the doorway into your shared room, stopping a handful of steps past the threshold when he registers the sight of you. He hums a low moan, licking his lips as his eyes devour your lacy undergarments, “Mierda, mi esposa, estás tratando de matarme? (Shit, my wife, are you trying to kill me?) You look so fucking beautiful, darlin’.”

A low whistle leaves his lips as he stalks closer, eyes rake over your form as you present your primped self for his taking.

“You get all pretty for me, sweet girl? I like this…” he rasps as he’s within arm’s reach now, stretching a hand out to toy with the strap of your bra and snapping it against your skin sharply.

“Wanted to look pretty when you fill me up, J.” One curl of his finger under your chin draws you to sit up straight, tilting your head back to look at Joel towering over you.

“Good girl,” he praises, a glint of excitement in his eyes, “You want me to fill up your sweet little cunt, Mariposa? Want me to give you a baby? Tell me.”

“Yes,” you breathe out shakily, eyelids fluttering closed as his hands trail lightly across your exposed skin, ghosting everywhere you need him most.

“More, sweetheart. Dime. Dime cuánto lo deseas. Suplicar por ello. (Tell me. Tell me how badly you want it. Beg for it.)” His instructions float through your head, only keywords translating in while Joel leaves over you, lips pressing feather-light kisses along your neck, across your chest.

“I need it, Joel. Need you so fucking bad, I wanna have your baby. Want you to make me a mom, fill me up as many times as it takes until we get our baby…please, J…” As if the taste of you wasn’t enough to do him in, the wild, fervent look in your eyes intrigues him beyond. Hearing the words from your lips, directed to him, he’s fucking aching. He was growing hard on his way over here, the thoughts swimming through his mind of you laid out and ready for him to take delegating his blood supply to rush down below his belt.

He needs you, but first, he needs to see you unraveling underneath him only from his fingers.

“Don’t worry your pretty little mind, Mari. M’gonna take care of you. I’ll make sure this one takes. Let’s call it third time lucky this summer.” 

He shoots you a wink, your mouth parting to respond. Before you can let any breath escape, his lips are crashing with yours. Heavy, heady, and so fucking hot it spirals your thoughts into nothing. His tongue melts with yours, the taste of his black coffee and the donut he must have eaten at work this morning tingling your taste buds. Sweat sticks to his skin when your hands rest at the sides of his neck, falling backwards as he climbs over you. He smells of wood shavings, freshly mowed grass, and hard work — calloused hands gliding along your body and feeling the softest of scratches of his blue collar hands.

“Joel, need you — please.” It’s more of a whine than a begging whimper, rising frustration levels from his lack of touch in the place you need and want him the most. 

Your cunt is desperate, dripping down your folds and surely soaking the sheets. A quick jerk of your hips attempts to brush against him, to catch any relief for the need building low in your stomach. A large palm presses your lower half back against the mattress, the other hand pushing your leg to the side to open you up further for him. A knuckle brushes your clit, grazing up and down your seam through your soaked panties. Your husband clicks his tongue as he shakes his head at you, patronizing tone slick in his voice.

“Darlin’, I wanna take every second of my time with you. Are you gonna let me? Gonna let me get your cunt squeezing my fingers? Gonna let me fill you up, mi amor?” he asks, as if you wouldn’t say yes to all of those requests and he knows it. Nodding, a desperate yes exhaled when he applies more pressure with his finger against your clit, rubbing slow circles. “Good girl. Siempre tan bueno para mí. (Always so good for me.)”

Joel folds over your, taking one of your perked nipples into his mouth through your bra and sucking. His tongue flattens against the cup before he’s pulling at the nub with his teeth. The material is darkened where his mouth was when he grows a bit more needy, grabbing at the straps and yanking the bra to rest at your midsection. You slip your arms out of the straps and he pushes you further onto the bed by the back of your thighs, stripping your panties off and settling on his knees.

Pressure forms against your clit from two of his fingers, slow circles dragging a moan from your throat. Joel smirks, satisfied with the way you squirm under him, trying and failing to get more from his hands. Before you can vocalize a whine, Joel is over you again, bringing his attention to your now bare breast while the circles continue. Hot, humid kisses are littered on the soft skin, happy hums rolling from Joel’s chest. He pulls his head up, looking down at your chest with a half grin and his dimple on display.

“You’re gonna get so soft and swollen everywhere, Mariposa. Round belly, huge tits—can’t wait to play with ‘em.” His grin widens, boyish and brazen with the glee that the fact fills him with. “You gonna let me, baby? Gonna let me make your sore tits feel better with my mouth?”

His question goes unanswered as his mouth attaches to one of your nipples, sucking and flattening his tongue as he nurses it. Pulling away with a pop, he mimics the same on the other side, the intensity of his suckling along with his fingers rubbing faster against your clit — even slipping down to tease at your entrance — has you wiggling under him, desperation notching up your spine.

“Joel, please,” you plead, choking on your breath when he pulls the bud of your breast between his teeth, a low growling sound rumbling from his throat. 

Two of his thick fingers push into your dripping cunt, a relieved moan echoing against the walls of the bedroom. Curling up into your spongy walls, they thrust quickly and pet at the certain spot inside of you. Joel’s mouth is still at your chest, his hunger feeding itself on the taste of your skin.

“Fuck, Mari, gonna break my fucking fingers off. So fucking tight.”

A distraught whimper crawls from your chest, breaths heaving as your walls clench around his quick-paced fingers. You gasp when he slips a third one in, hooking them up. Despite the stretch, you still feel an emptiness. All you want is his cock inside of you, spilling into you and leaving you to grow fuller with his baby. The thoughts of him above you, fucking it all deeper into you to reach your womb, drive you over the edge. The tips of his fingers press against that spot inside of you, his warm mouth hanging open at your tit while his eyes watch you come undone. Writhing and walls pulsing around his fingers, his name falls from your mouth as you choke out moans and your vision grows dark.

“That’s it, Mari baby, fuck,” Joel works you through the orgasm before his fingers leave you and he sits back on his haunches. Sucking his digits clean of your slick and come, the other hand rubs your thigh gently before he coos down at you, “That was a big one, wasn’t it? Feel good?”

Still coming down from it all, your body feels liquidity, taking whatever form Joel is molding you into right now after he’s stripped himself bare. One hand slips under you, unclasping your bra and tugging it away from your torso, leaving you as naked as him. His eyes drink in your body while his grip holds your calves, chuckling darkly when you finally breathe out a response, “I feel…like I need you to put a baby in me.”

“Cualquier cosa para usted, mi esposa. Vas a estar tan lleno de mí. Te encanta la sensación de mi mecos dentro de ti, ¿verdad? (Anything for you, my wife. You're going to be so full of me. You love the feeling of my cum inside of you, don't you?)” Your head rolls with a nod, agreeing to anything Joel says in the moment, still hazy from how hard he’d made you come moments ago. Half-lidded eyes watch as he licks his fingers, stroking his cock a few times with a quiet sigh. That’s something you could watch all day — Joel’s pleasure. And here underneath him, you have the perfect view, and the perfect position to be used for it.

Fully handing over control to him, his hands tug you up so your ass sits on his thighs while he’s on his knees. Fingertips skate along the distance of your legs, grabbing at your calves to rest them on his broad shoulders. Even the slightest shift forward from his hips stretches you wide, a delicious ache creating a craving for more.

“Tell me how bad you want it, Mari, tell me how much you wanna have my baby.”

Joel’s gripping his length, rubbing his tip through your wet folds. The notches against your clit quiver the already stretched muscles in your thighs, whines replacing words coming out of your mouth.

“Tell me, or I won’t give you what you want, mi amor.”

“I want it so bad, J. I wanna feel you fuck me so full of you, and I don’t want that feeling to leave. I feel like there’s an emptiness and only you can fill it, I want your baby. Wanna have everyone know how good I am for you, carrying your baby like you want me to. I wanna have a part of you forever,” you gasp out the last word, Joel’s cock inching into you. Muscle memory takes over, your whole body relaxing with the knowledge that he’ll take care of you — he’ll always take care of you.

Joel bottoms out easily, filling you to the hilt before he pauses to take a breath. His eyes meet yours and he smiles, sweet and sincere, while holding your shins, “I fucking love you, mi Mariposa. Wanna give you a baby…”

“Pleasepleaseplease—” You don’t know if you’re begging more for him to give you what you want or to move his hips, but in the end, you get both. 

Joel starts out slow, shallow thrusts keeping him inside of you. Grunts from the controlled movements fill the room, your small whimpers following each noise he makes. The sound of him fucking into your cunt captures his attention, gaze zeroed in on where you two meet. Watching the stretch of your tight pussy around his cock, he feels the burning desire for more. To watch you take it deeper, harder.

The next snap of his hips is just that - smacking his skin against your ass before he adjusts, laying you back completely on the mattress and leaning over you. Your legs are still hooked over his shoulders, the burning of your muscles now straining your hamstrings and glutes. His entire body folds you, his head hovering over yours as he fucks into you further. The tip of his cock kisses your womb, the force of his thrusts driving your hips open more for him.

“Gonna — fuck — gonna make you a momma, Mariposa. That what you want? Get fucked so well, be so full of me that we make a baby? Everybody’s gonna know I treat my wife right. With your round belly…swollen—ah—swollen tits. Gonna be so beautiful, and so fucking sensitive everywhere.”

His words only add onto the feeling of his thick cock filling you up, nearly verging on too far and too much. Moans exhale on your lips, his name repeated like a chant with each harsh snap of him into you. Your hands scramble for purchase as his sheer power drives you up the mattress, sheets scratching against your bare back. One set of fingers dig into the meaty flesh of his shoulder, nails pressing crescent shapes like an iron-hot branding.

Above you, Joel studies how your mouth has fallen open, thoughts completely left your mind with how cockdrunk you are. He gingerly grips your chin, holding it to face him and commanding your eyes to his as he pants heavily.

“What d’you wanna make me, baby?” It’s only met with the sounds of his cock dragging in and out of you, the slap of skin as you gasp under him. “C’mon, Mari baby, use your words.”

“A daddy,” you breathe out, your opposite hand combing into his messy curls and gripping tight.

“Say it again. Dime.” Not thinking it was possible, Joel pushes you further, hitting into you harder with each thrust nudging his tip toward your cervix. You might only leave this afternoon with soreness, but you continued to hold out hope for a baby to be the well-worth prize for how you’re going to feel tomorrow.

“A daddy!”

“Dime. Dime. Dime,” he commands and you listen, writhing under him as he hacks away at your shared resolve, throwing you closer and closer to the edge.

“Daddy — oh, fuck, a daddy. Wanna make you a daddy!” You’re yelling at this point, sobs of pleasure wracking your body and you thank god for a split second that the two of you are home alone in the middle of the work day. Surely the whole block might be hearing all of your wanton sounds.

“God, I could get used to you calling me that, Mari baby,” Joel groans and throws his head back, bearing his teeth as he punches his hips into your clenching pussy, the telltale sign that you’re close.

“C’mon, mi amor, give it to me. Come for me and I’ll let your fucking pussy milk me for every last drop. That’s what you want, right? Gotta fill you up and make a baby for my Mari baby.” He’s rambling as you reach your peak, toes curling and coming even harder than your first one this afternoon. 

A near scream pulls itself from as deep as your gut, the sound as if you were in more pain than the absolute pleasure you feel. Your grip on his hair tightens, drawing him down for a messy kiss as you mumble against his lips.

“Please gimme a baby, J. Need it all inside of me, please. Come for me, mi esposo.” 

The name sends goosebumps across his shoulders and trickles down his spine before he’s barking your name once and spilling into you, painting your walls with each rope. He takes a moment to breathe before he gently presses his hips in a few short thrusts, fucking his spend as far into you as possible.

Joel collapses against your torso, no other efforts exerted to move away. Delicate, nimble touches brush the hair from his sweaty forehead, rubbing his shoulders as he hums contently.

“Fuck, baby, might just have to stay inside. Keep you plugged up so I can stay here all day with you.” Quiet, breathless laughter leaves your lips as you shake your head, tracing along his jaw before he turns his head to press his lips into your tummy.

“Can’t wait for you to be a momma. Gonna be the best one ever, y’already are. Love you so much.”

The two of you lay like that for what feels like hours, only to be reminded of Joel’s limited schedule when his cell starts ringing from downstairs. Getting up with a groan, he slips out of you and lifts your hips, stuffing a pillow or two underneath them to keep your lower half elevated. You roll your eyes at the superstitious gesture, gasping when his fingers push into you once more to put his leaking come back into where it belongs.

“Gotta make sure it takes, pretty girl. Wanna see you get all round with my baby in you. Everybody’ll know how good I am to you, huh? Pumping you full of me so much we made a new fucking life…better stay like this until I get home again, Mari baby. Wanna make sure those lil swimmers get all the help they can get.”

“Mm…” you hum, hands grabbing for him to lean over you again. Sneaking a kiss, you pull away to whisper to him with a grin on your lips, “Better get back to work…daddy.”

He snorts out a laugh, beaming a bright smile as mischief glimmers in his eyes, “Mal. Mala chica. (Bad. Bad girl.)”

Three days late. You’ve been tracking your cycle like a mad woman, ticking off days in the notebook next to your bed, and now you’re officially three days late. Joel and you had agreed to wait a few days after you expected your period, hopeful that the extra time meant a more accurate, and desired, result.

The kitchen timer sitting on Joel’s side of the bed ticks away while you side on the edge of the bed. Tapping your fingers against your thighs, bare skin against your fingertips from the high hem of your denim shorts. Joel paces the room, eyes focused a thousand yards ahead. Anxiety and anticipation had been plaguing both of you all day, work slugging by minute by minute, second by second. Joel had left the jobsite as soon as was acceptable, leaving Tommy to wrap up, and swung by the pharmacy to pick up a new box of tests. Your task for the day was to chug water, or any liquid, all afternoon — by the time Joel was one foot through the door, you were ready to burst. Snatching the bag of tests out of his hand, you ran to the bathroom to pee in a plastic disposable cup and stick at least three tests in.

Now, you two are waiting for more seconds and minutes to tick by, added to the tally of the entire day. As you’re about to stand and stop Joel from burning treads in the area rug from walking his tight circles, a trill of a bell vibrating demands your attention. Turning off the noise in a flash, you stand and cross the room to where your husband is now frozen in place. A gentle touch to his cheek, his eyelids flutter close and he takes a long exhale before opening them again.

“Ready?” you ask, uncertainty pitching your voice up.

A minute nod, one shake of his chin, Joel’s hand finds the small of your back as he responds, “Ready, mi amor.”

His hand guides you into the bathroom, and a handful of steps from the three tests laid out on the counter, you turn around, panic twisting your expression. Joel stumbles to stop his collision with you, large palms grabbing onto your biceps to catch himself.

“M’scared, J…” Your voice is meek, cracking with emotion. This is the last shot you gave yourselves, whatever is laid on the counter either means unbridled joy or a long road of poking and prodding in countless doctors’ offices.

The warmth of his hands rubbing your arms and the press of his lips to your forehead coax you to relax, to take deep breaths, “I know, Mari baby, I would be lyin’ if I said I wasn’t scared too. But no matter what is on those tests, we’re in it together, right sweet girl?”

His index finger hooks under your chin to draw your attention up to his face, a small smile filled with love and reassurance stretching his lips.

“Always in it together, J.” You take another deep breath, turning around and nodding shortly, “Okay, now m’ready.”

“That’s my girl,” he mumbles before he’s following right behind you again, the two of you pressing yourselves to each other against the counter. Joel has an iron grip on your hips, nerves manifesting in the squeezes of his hands. Shaking fingers turn over each test before picking them all up to your lines of vision.

Two lines. Two bold lines screaming at both of you, across all three tests.

Positive.

Positive. You’re pregnant. You and Joel are having a baby.

“Holy shit…” Joel exhales behind you, smile creeping into his voice. Somehow, his grip gets even tighter as he turns you around, “Holy shit! You’re pregnant, Mari. We’re havin’ a baby! You’re gonna be a momma!”

Giddiness overcomes both of you, happy and disbelieving laughter while you hold each other in a tight embrace. Joel litters kisses around your face, catching your lips last — all teeth and tight lipped from your matching grins.

“You’re gonna be a dad again, how’s that feel?”

“Like I won the damn lottery, mi amor.”

Another kiss, supple and heavy. Joel pulls away first and shakes his head, pressing his forehead to yours, “I love you so fucking much, Mari.”

“I love you too, J.”

“You ready to go, Sare?” you ask, standing next to her seat at the kitchen table where she’s working away at her homework, reaching a hand out to play with her curls. She smiles and nods, writing down one last answer to a question on her worksheet before she lays her pencil down and stands up, rushing over toward the door.

“Just gotta get my shoes on!” she calls out, and you smile, shaking your head.

“Take your time, sweet pea! God knows it’s gonna take me longer to walk over to the door.” Your joke falls on deaf ears of your husband, who stands at the kitchen island and rolls his eyes before he’s crossing the room over to you. Within arm’s length, his hands cup the bottom of your large belly, leaning in for a sweet peck.

“Nobody cares if you move slow. Better to be careful than—”

“Careless, yes, I know. I think those might be our baby’s first words since they hear them so much from their dad,” you tease and he shrugs, kissing you again while his touch wanders across the flannel of his that you’re sporting, too tired to buy more maternity clothes that you’ll grow out of and opting for his closet every morning.

“Jus’ looking out for my girls. All three of ‘em.” He beams proudly, brown eyes shining brightly before he turns you in his arms, accompanying you to the front door where your near-teenager is waiting. Ever the sweetheart she is, she’s got your purse slung on her shoulder, car keys in hand to pass off to you. You thank her quietly, turning back to Joel as he looks between the two of you.

“Alright, have fun with your girls’ day. And call if you need anything — either of you. I’ll be waitin’ here for ya.” Joel smooths down Sarah’s hair before kissing the crown of her head; she squirms away, the teenage attitude rearing its head in some early moments, especially with her dad. There’s less patience for him, which you completely understand as a teenage girl once yourself. He huffs out a sigh as she slips out the door, heading down the front path toward your car.

“Hey, s’nothing. Teenage girl things. She loves you, and you’re the best dad.” A hand on his cheek coaxes him down to your lips, a supple kiss exchanged before he pulls away and bends to kiss the top of your belly.

“Bye, my little June Bug.” He stands upright again and steals another kiss, mumbling, “And bye, mi Mariposa. Drive safe, let me know if you need anything while you’re out. I love you.”

“We love you too. And m’speaking for the moody one, too.” Joel chuckles and rubs your bump once more before sending you on your way, watching and waving from the door as y’all drive away.

The plan for today had come about when you started to notice Sarah growing quieter, retreating to her room more often after family dinners and denying the chance at movie night some days. Joel had noticed too, but was a bit nervous to broach it with her, not wanting to make her feel bad about being more independent.

Your relationship with her though was much different to Joel’s. There was the foundation of your caretaking role with her, much more of a friend with authority when it was only you two before you were anything close to a parental figure. More open and, well, you could relate more to what she was going through. She confided in you first about girls at school being catty, about her growing crushes on boys in her grade. And this year, only a month after your due date, she will officially become a teenager. It was a strange time in any girl’s life, full of growing pains.

And on top of all of that, add on a new baby arriving. Attentions drawn elsewhere, priorities shifted to preparing for the baby. Sarah never fell to the backburner in your minds, but you didn’t know how she was feeling. Guessing by her quiet actions, you could tell she was feeling left out but didn’t want to stir up trouble.

Always the sweet girl. And you knew how that was.

So, you’d asked her for a girls’ day, excluding her dad from the fun and giving both of you some time with each other to feel like it was years before. It was all about Sarah today, no mentions of baby — no buying diapers or supplies or clothes. A promise made to yourself to make Sarah feel special, because that is exactly what she was. The baby on the way may be your first biological child, but nothing can compare to the unique bond that you have with your Sare Bear.

The day was spent waddling throughout the mall, helping her pick out new outfits and shoes for the end of the school year. Collecting a haul, you two stopped off for lunch and a trip to the nail salon before you finally made your way back home in the evening. Sarah was smiling brightly in the passenger seat, joking around with you and eagerly telling you all about the latest school drama. Your heart was about to burst with how much she’d come out of her shell again all day, even wanting to show off her new things to her dad when you both got back.

In the living room, Joel greets you two from the couch, eyes widening and a low whistle leaving his lips when he sees the damage done, “Quite some shoppin’ there, Bug. Y’all buy out the whole store?”

You wave him off and encourage Sarah to show off her haul, walking over to settle onto the sofa next to Joel. The younger Miller excitedly starts pulling out pieces and showcasing them, excitedly telling her dad exactly where she plans to wear them. His hand rests on your leg, attention completely focused on his daughter in front of him, squeezing you gently when she gets particularly worked up over something. You can tell he feels what you were in the car, heart bursting that she seems like herself again after a day spent with you.

“That’s nice, Sare Bear. I like the color,” Joel comments on the last shirt Sarah holds up, her smile still beaming as she tosses it back into the bag.

“Thanks, Mom actually picked it out! I thought it would be fun to have for camp this year, since I’m gonna start the counselor training program…” Her voice trails off as Joel listens intently. You, on the other hand, take deep breaths to hold it together, the simple moniker rolling off of Sarah’s tongue so naturally. Your heartbeat thumps in your chest, and baby Miller kicks her feet against your tummy — equally as excited.

You manage to keep it calm while Sarah recaps the rest of the day before she gathers up her shopping bags to take to her room. As she’s leaving the room, she’s quick to run over and give you a hug, leaning down to meet you where you sit on the couch. Your belly sticks out between the two of you, but regardless you pull her into a tight squeeze as she says thank you. Her curls bounce as she scampers off upstairs, the quiet sounds of her feet in the hallway queuing your watery eyes to overflow and for your nose to sniffle. Joel is grinning brightly next to you, pulling you into his lap and holding you against him as he wipes the few happy tears away.

“She called me Mom…” you whisper to your husband, afraid to admit it any louder as if it would disappear.

Joel presses his forehead against yours, a sweet kiss against your lips before he whispers back, “You have no idea how happy it makes me to know she feels that way about you.”

“I just…I feel so lucky. And maybe it’s hormones, but oh my god, I can’t stop blubbering. I’m a mom.”

“You’re the best mom. Have been to Sarah since she met you, and you’re going to be the best mom to our little one on the way.”

June 21st, 2009.

The first day of summer.

It’s the first day of summer and you’re stuck inside. Not at home, no, you’re currently propped up in a hospital bed with your legs in stir-ups, breathing in between contractions. Exhaustion weighs on your body, a full hour passing of you pushing in time with the pain in your abdomen that radiates all over. Sweat sticks your hair to your forehead and Joel sitting next to you brushes it out of the way. His other hand is limp in yours, ready to be squeezed with a vice grip whenever you need to push. Joel leans over you in level with your head, lathering on encouragements.

“You got this, Mari.”

“So strong, baby. You can do it.”

“Thank you, mi amor, thank you thank you thank you.”

The last one comes after a string of complaints against him doing this to you — despite you both knowing you begged for it nine months prior — and for having such a big head in his own baby photos that he had to have passed down to the baby.

Another wave kicks in, your doctor and nurses coaching you to give another final push. Putting every last bit of your energy behind the flex of your muscles, groaning out with pain and frustration before a piercing cry fills the room. Heavy, tiny sobs ring in your ears.

“You did it, baby, m’so proud of you. Our little girl,” Joel says in awe, glancing between you and where the doctor holds your little baby girl, summoning Dad over to cut the cord. 

She’s taken away to be cleaned up and Joel returns to your side, ready to help you attentively through the afterbirth. You wave him off, begging him to go keep an eye on your little girl. Once she’s clean enough, the nurses lay her on your bare chest, the sight of her tiny fingers and toes bringing about your own cries. Your hands hold her there, delicate touches brushing against her soft skin and her damp but full head of dark brown hair.

The rest of the process is painful but smoother, shorter. Before you know it, all tests are done and Joel is next to the bed again, wiping a damp cloth across your forehead.

A rush of adrenaline, pure unfiltered need and excitement to meet your daughter keeps you awake, sitting up carefully as you accept her into your arms from your husband who’s wearing the biggest smile. He sits on the edge of the bed, hand on your leg as you study the features on her small face.

“She’s perfect, isn’t she, Mari? Looks like her momma.”

You beam, shaking your head as you place a fingertip against her nose, “See, I think she looks like her daddy. Already got the grumpy brow.”

Both of you laugh, your unbridled attention on the tiny bundle in your arms as you gush over her for minutes longer. Joel rubs your leg, drawing your eyes up to him as he asks, “So you think we picked a good name?”

“I think we picked a perfect name. Our ‘S’ girls,” you grin at him before looking down at your little girl, “Skye Isla Miller. I think it suits her perfectly.”

A bit more time is spent between only the two of you and Skye before you’re itching to see your eldest, and for her to meet her little sister. Joel retreats to where Sarah’s in the waiting area with Tommy and Maria, who’s now three months pregnant herself, waving her to come back with him. She nervously enters the room, quiet as a mouse until you reassure her with a smile and welcome her to sit in the bed next to you.

Joel makes the introductions, voice thick with emotion as he stands over his three girls, watching as his first little one meets his second, “Sarah Elena, this is your baby sister, Skye Isla.”

Sarah quietly asks permission to hold her; you lay Skye in her arms carefully, teaching her how to support her head and where to avoid her soft spot. Sarah picks up on it like a natural, adjusting her little sister when she fusses a bit, finally settling into a new set of familiar hands.

“Dad said you did a really good job, Mom. With everything today. S’pretty cool that you brought a whole person into the world…” Sarah glances over at you with a shy smile before addressing both you and Joel, “M’really happy she’s here.”

“You’re gonna be a great big sister, Bug,” Joel beams with pride as he squeezes her shoulder, leaning over to press a kiss to the crown of your head. He hums as he looks over you three, “Got my Mariposa, my Bug, and my little June Bug. Mi maripositas. Don’t think anything could beat seeing my three girls altogether finally.”

You find yourself observing your family from afar, listening with muffled ears as Joel and Sarah chat about who Skye got what features from. Cheeks aching from smiling, you can’t help but think that this summer was off to the most wonderful start, and that every summer after was only going to get better. 

taglist: @beskarandblasters @undrthelights @swiftispunk @joelsversion @asirenbyanyothername @ellenmunn @ja-ehyun @sw33tp1xie @marisemonteiroo @brunetteeras @bongsrconfusing @addictedtotlou @angie2274 @pedrostories @pedroholic @theelishad @johnwatsn @elissa @felicityofbakerstreet @atinylittlepain @northernbluess @cannolighost @casa-boiardi @wannab-urs @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin @fishingforpike @msjarvis @walkintotheriveranddisappear @sugadolly @yazsos @peppesgirl @pastawench @anoverwhelmingdin @wolfbook87 @mswarriorbabe80 @planet-marz1 @kiwisbell @lizzie-cakes

[sublimeinal-messages]

OKAY OKAY SO THE TRAILER’s DROPPED AND WHILE IM SO BEYOND PSYCHED TO SEE EVERYONE I HAVE SOME OBSERVATIONS. (With pictures). Apologies for the long post lol

First off:

Powers confirmed coming back for everyone!

Five is teleporting, Viktor’s powered up, Ben’s got the horror, Luther has his muscles again

Speaking of Luther, he seems to be all over the place. In some shots he has his muscles, in some he doesn’t, in one shot he’s donning spacegear, another he’s in a ballpit, and they even make him sit in the back of the van for old time’s sake

No Sloane tho?? No sparrows at all as far as I can tell :| idk how to feel about that

Another little detail I noticed was when they all pile in the van together, Lila calls shotgun and is promptly shoved aside by Five out of sheer pettiness. And then she has to sit in the middle

They seem to have a bonding moment in the subway with Lila sobbing as Five holds onto her, which I’m very curious about (and scared)

Diego’s shown at a birthday party taking care of a little girl!! With braids! Possibly their daughter? Talk of a rescue mission makes me think their daughter might be kidnapped

Allison shown with a kid also has me thinking Claire returns which makes me so happy

Allison also doesn’t seem to be shot in a villainous or shunned light, so it looks like this season isn’t intent on bashing her (yet. As far as I can see, which honestly thank goodness…)

The dark circles under Ben’s eyes worry me, almost as much as the shot of him in prison(?) and him seemingly being out of sync with the others. Is this Sparrow Ben perhaps? Does it have anything to do with the possibility of there being another Ben? (Maybe he’s accused of identity theft?)

There’s also Another Tentacle in the promo image shared yesterday which I noticed. Maybe a second horror?

I thought maybe it had something to do with Jennifer since there’s been an actor hired for a character with that name, but now I wonder with the two Bens situation…

Reginald might have his Umbrella academy in the woods again? aligning with the comics. Unless this is someone else’s house. But the windows and white brick match.

Really curious how the academy has been rebranded in this universe to be a house for boys. Six, specifically. Seeing as how Allison is the only umbrella-born girl, it’s interesting to see how this universe has shifted to accommodate them all

Viktor might be a bartender?? The area looked familiar but it could just be my eyes. But apart from his Direct Interview with Reginald, (oooh scary) he seems to get in a physical fight with someone. Which is a new approach for him as a characater

Forgive my shitty captures but if it’s not Luther, diego, klaus or five I’m guessing it must be Ben?? But it’s hard to say, but he sure is going at it tho

Who are the square dancers??? My heart wants it to be jayme and Alphonso but the people here look older to me, so it could be Nick Offerman and Megan Mullalley.

Actually upon inspection the fuzzy square dancer has a matching beard pattern to Nick offerman Exactly. So that’s absolutely him.

Klaus really seems to be struggling again, and has those plastic gloves in almost every shot I see. Him dressing dark and drab also says something about his state of mind as well as the panic attack he seems to have :( but at least they’re all back together 🥲

Looks like they also seem to celebrate Christmas together? And a birthday. Honestly I’m just so happy to see them together for events like this I love these dysfunctional dorks so much

There’s so many more things I’m sure I missed and I’ll be rewatching this a few more times until the season drops (three months!!) but in the wise words of Diego: Let’s Fucking GOOOOOOOO I’m so excited for this. HELL YEAH, THE UMBRELLAS BACK TOGETHER AGAIN BAYBEEE

[bronx-bomber87]

Merry Christmas Eve to all who celebrate it :) We’ve reached S5. Which is unreal. It shouldn’t be since I’ve been writing these for 7 plus months now and yet ha. I remember BUZZING for this ep. Then being in shock It actually happened. This entire season felt like a gift from the writers.

The long awaited reward for the slow burn. Although I enjoyed every moment of that slow burn. Was very happy to get to this place I will say. You thought Tim’s brain was broken last ep? It’s about to be obliterated haha Once again some long gifs I’ll make to get it all in. Might be the theme for this season LOL I fit everything in that I could this ep was wall to wall moments. Let’s get going.

5x01 Double Down

We start out on a glorious high. Lucy is dreaming about kissing Tim. Making out really. Not only that but she is grinning like crazy as she does. Sure she’s had dreams like this before about him. No doubt in my mind she’s had naughty dreams about this man. (and vice versa let’s be honest) But now she had something real to dream about. A tangible moment. Didn't take long for that to take root in her subconscious ha.

Also in this dream we get another lovely angle to that kiss. It's like we got two first kisses everyone. It's glorious. They sure started this season off with spoiling us right away. He looks like he’s about to eat her face in this dream version. This is why she’s smiling so much heh I love having both angles. Real and dream version.

I like how the dream version is little spicier. Like this is her dream version of that kiss. How he’s cupping her face in this one. She wanted him to devour her like that. She would’ve been happy to be his meal for the night. Also showing Lucy has it SOO bad for him. Forgetting she has a blah BF at the moment. Chris who? Unfortunately as it gets good a knock startles her awake.

It’s Tamara waking her up. Lucy is legit jarred from her dream. We watch her struggle to come back down to earth. Her messy hair and reaction are too funny. This one of my all time fav Tamara/Lucy moments. She has to give Lucy a hard time about the kiss. Wouldn’t be her if she didn’t. It’s too cute. Lucy goes into mom mode about school. Telling her about Rosalind’s trial shutting the city down. Her normal route will be closed.

Tamara mirroring her going into protective daughter mode. Asking her if she wants her to skip class? I love her always wanting to put Lucy first. She tells her no. She will be ok and no where near Rosalind anyways. She is bound to the station with Tim anyways. Waiting for their OP to jump off. Tamara asking if it’s for the UC thing from the other night? Lucy confirms this.

Tamara’s giving her crap about the kiss. Lucy being defensive saying didn’t mean anything. Oh yes nothing. You weren’t just dreaming about it or anything…Mmhm…Then she says her legendary line. ‘Make out. Stop crime. That totally tracks.' LOL I love her so much. Lucy tells her to go to school. Tamara replies in kind telling her to have fun at work. With her boss. Who she kissed…

We then switch to Tim talking to Angela about said kiss. Now let me say how giddy it makes me he came to Angela about it. Yes she’s his best friend but he didn’t used to be this open with her. She had to pull teeth in 2x11 even when he asked for her help. This is a far more open Tim Bradford than we’ve seen before. He starts this convo then goes into full denial. Babe, you started this and she has great Chenford radar. You weren’t going to fool her. Not in the slightest. I love how she doesn’t let up the entire convo. Smirking this entire time through out it as well.

Asking how much did they practice? LOL Tim telling her it was just a kiss. No big deal. Angela’s reply is epic. ‘Then why are we talking about it?’ Boom. Mic drop. She is iconic in this scene. Sounds like he’s trying to convince himself more than anything else. Tim deflecting saying 'What if it wasn’t just a kiss for her?' Really asking 'Do you think she has feelings for me too?' Angela follows up asking if Lucy might have feelings for him? He looks so deflated when he says ‘No..’ Thinking no way Lucy could have feelings for him. Ugh break my heart Tim. When Angela gives me more logic it makes him said.

Telling him she probably saw the kiss as just as a weird work thing then. The defeated way he says ‘Right....’ Angela picks up on it immediately. Hence her next question to him. The way he says ‘No!' to her feelings question. He’s SO defensive. Not telling at all…Do you even believe yourself Timothy? His voice gets all high pitched. Just like Lucy does when she gets nervous about her feelings. He does his spiel about them both being in relationships. Being her boss. etc. Angela crushes it with some more solid logic. ‘All true. Not what I asked.’ God I love her. Also let’s note how deliciously tight Tim’s shirt is in this scene. Didn’t think I would let that slide by did you? Mmm.

We rejoin them in the interrogation room. Tim complaining how greasy his double is. How he hates it LOL Lucy comes in looking like a stunner. Notice Tim agreeing with Aaron’s assessment of how good she looks. She then mentions regretting the choice of thong idea LMAO I love her. Also you are going to be the death of him Lucy Chen haha What are you doing to this man? They received a call earlier and now waiting for a follow up to where to meet.

The phone goes off and Lucy gives the most ‘ in love’ look at him. She couldn’t adore that man standing in front of her more if she tried. Tim answers and Hajek tells them to meet his guys at an air strip. I love the silent communication between them. Always adore that about them. Lucy tries to get them more time saying they can’t just up and leave. How she looks requires lots of suitcases and precision.

Swing and miss sadly. Tells them to meet them there or end up in a coffin. Angela is scrambling because leaving the state is a whole other thing. Aaron saves them by letting them use his private jet for him and Angela to follow in. Lucy says they can follow the flight plan the pilot has to submit. Angela is relaxing a bit and decides to let them proceed. Aaron cracks me up asking about caviar selection such a goob. Says he'll just get an assortment. Ha I love him.

So begins them “pretending” to be a couple. When really it’s just them having no restrictions or boundaries on them. Getting to look, touch, flirt, and be free with one another. Under the guise of UC. It’s glorious really. I felt my brain stopped working multiple times in this episode the first time. Just like Tim. Lucy starts off STRONG explaining why they're late. Pulling Tim to her saying 'Their quickie wasn’t so quick.' Hot damn. (I can see this being a reason for them now a days too hehe)

They’re like magnets instantly drawn to each other. Gah I love it so much. I remember it being so hard to focus. Because they had their arms all wrapped around each other from the word go. The way they are all over each other in this hanger scene. It’s their normal banter but heightened. I’ll never be over her hand resting on his hip. His arms wrapped around her. The easy rhythm they quickly fall into. Almost like being a couple is the most natural thing in the world for them. I mean look at them. They are not struggling to sell this one bit.

The way they’re attached at the hip. Swaying together like they’re in their own world. Which what else is new with them? This is par for the course when they're together. They’re always in their own world when they banter. Only right now they’re allowed to touch and hold each other as much as they want to. And trust me they want to. It felt like I was dreaming as I watched this portion. Truly in a daze. I had to rewind and pay attention to the SL. More than once...

The smiles and the swaying gah they get me. They basically mirror the smiles and swaying from 5x12. Because they’re just as in love right now as they are 11 eps down the road. I love Lucy’s face when they get interrupted LOL It was the biggest scowl. Like excuse me you weren’t invited to this party.

I truly think they nailed this because it was their shot. They thought this was their only chance to be with each other without any restrictions. So they went for it as we can see. We all lapped it up like it was the last bit of water in the desert haha I’m giddy as he tells her to get on the damn plane. It's so cute. Lucy cannot keep her hands off him from the minute they start this. Tim is more than happy to oblige. Gah this is cloud 9 goodness.

The goodies continue on the plane as they head towards Vegas. I don’t know about you but first time I watched this portion I couldn’t focus. I was obsessed with her sitting on his lap basically. Leaning into him. Not only that but the start to Tim’s obsession we all love with her thighs. How he has his hand rests there naturally. Like his hand has found it's new home happily. Lastly their hands. I remember focusing so much on just their hands I missed dialogue. Had to rewind it to hear what was going on LOL

If you weren’t just as distracted by their hands and PDA you’re a lying liar who lies haha Or you don’t ship them. In that case why you reading this review right now? Ha I think they were both nervous about this being out of state. The hands weren’t necessary in the least. I think they were unconsciously grounding each other.

Finding comfort in each other’s touch. Also I think them being this way was incredibly natural for them. Just like everything else has been their entire relationship. Why the slow burn was so necessary. So when we got here it was basically a flawless crossover to this. Touching each other as much as possible and I love it.

Lucy cracks me up trying to get info on their job. Saying right now it's the world’s most boring bachelor party LOL Tim saying this is a job not a party. They finally tell them what their job is since they’re airborne. They ask them if they know who Roman Krupka is? They say nope. Apparently he imports Heroin to the Monarch cartel. Lucy mentions so the competition?

He continues on saying ‘Something like that.' That Roman is paranoid of computers. Doesn’t keep a written record anywhere. That the details of his operation exist in one place. One man called ‘The Brain .’ His name is Leonard Madris. Tim makes the comment isn’t is dangerous for one man to carry all that? They say yes and he’s usually kept under heavy guard. Never leaves the compound.

The reason they’re headed to Vegas is because of him. They’re received a solid tip he will be there this weekend. They find out their plan in this. They’re to take out the guards while he grabs Madris. Then they’re gonna torture the man for every detail. Then they’ll take over the business by doing so. Lucy is so cocky in her reply. I love it. Saying sounds like they should be getting paid more heh. Lyon tells them tough. So charming...

We rejoin them finding out Rosalind has escaped through Lyon. This is one of my fav moments of the episode. The way he immediately grabs her hand. Trying to ground her in this moment. Keeping her close to him so he can show her he’s there. Reassure her that she isn’t alone in hearing this. It’s just instinctual him doing this. Knowing this would be a massive trigger that would throw her off kilter. Trying to keep Lucy there with him. To stop her from losing focus and spiraling out.

Also the way Tim looks up at her. Checking in trying to get her to silently communicate with him. He needs to know she’s ok. Protective Tim is one of my favs. That immediate need to shield and protect her. Rosalind is a huge trauma trigger for her. He wants so badly to help her with this news. Look at how her hand is clutching his shoulder at first. He starts rubbing his thumb on her hand. Trying to get her to unclench. (Wasn't able to fit that one in but he does it.)

Tim being her calm in the raging storm she has going on right now. Her constant in this moment. Which is exactly what she needs. This man is so soft for her I’ll never be over it everyone. Tim isn’t able to get a read on her. She won’t look down at him. So he asks how long till they land? Lyon says 15 minutes. Tim tells them perfect. His cover being the mile high club. It’s his way of getting them a private moment. He needs to check in on her and he can’t do that with them around.

They head back and Lucy goes into full spiral mode. This is why he wanted to do this. She starts to be taken over by her fear and PTSD. Tim sees it taking over her. He tells her to stop in the softest way possible. Lucy takes a deep breath and little stomp but does. Telling her if she is not 100 percent in this it’s going to get her killed. Which ultimately will kill him in the process.

Lucy defends herself and says she’s got this. The news got to her at first but this is their one shot at Madris. That she is fine. I love him being protective and wanting to pull the plug just for her. The beautiful thing is he listens to her on this. Doesn’t bulldoze her and make a decision like he used to. He is trusting her in this moment. Letting her decide for herself ultimately. Which is such growth for him once again I can’t stand it.

He’s so ready to kill this OP if she’s not ok. I love that sfm. Letting her know that there is no shame if she does. He is there if she is ready to pull the ripcord. Tim is about to leave when she stops him. Tim looks so very confused once again. Lucy telling him it needs to look like they hooked up in here. Tim isn’t on the same page as her right now and it shows haha

Here comes that infamous airplane kiss. Has some similar aspects to their first kiss. Except way spicier this time around. Once again Lucy just pounces on Tim. He has to absorb the weight of her throwing her body at him. We watch him once again stumble into their kiss. Taken aback by her forcefulness. Her passion nearly knocking him off his feet. Tim isn't complaining once her lips collide with his though.

It doesn’t take long for him to adjust to it and go with this mini make out session of their's. He is adjusting much faster this time around. It’s all hands at first. His body absorbing the shock of her body slamming into his. Tim wrapping his arms around her anchoring her body to his. Lucy’s hands firmly planted on his face as she leads this kiss at first. Tim’s hands moving up her back fully enveloping her in his arms. Getting so very lost in her once again. Instantly melting into her.

I love how the kiss continues to get deeper. Sexier as well. Hot damn look at them above. Tim is the one chasing her lips as they continue this much spicier kiss. The way he’s leaning into her as they sway together. Two people in perfect tandem with each other. Not missing a beat. They were both so very thirsty in this moment. It’s all over this kiss. Tim running his hands up and down her back as he is savoring her. Lucy hands moving down his face not looking to part from him any time soon either. Tim isn't the only one getting easily lost in this.

Lucy’s hands sliding down his chest once again. This kiss getting deepened much faster this second time around. Their desire for one another is very evident. Tim can't keep his hands off her. Like I said for their kiss in 4x22. If they kept going his hands would end up on her face. He can’t keep them still and as she runs her hands down his chest. He pulls her closer to him not wanting to lose any contact with her. Eliminate any unnecessary space between them.

Her lips are quickly becoming a drug he is getting addicted to. He sure loves her upper lip. Captures it between his as he looks to further this impromptu kiss. *fans self* Look at him in that gif above. Wants her as close to him as possible. I just adore how softly he cups her face wanting to keep this kiss going. Totally forgetting about the mission and the men outside the door. All that matters right now is Lucy and her lips on his.

How Lucy has the self control to pull herself from him I don’t know. Gah it’s the grunt Tim does when she breaks off. *phew lord* That noise is doing things to me. Mmm. He was basically chasing her lips again when she broke off. Chasing that high of kissing her some more. He was very not ready for that to end. Also how glossy his lips look post kiss. She had her damn way with that man haha

He looks so dazed snd confused when she wipes his lips. Her hand shaking as she does this. I know we all joke about how “unnecessary” this kiss was. I think part of it was Lucy seeking comfort from Tim in this moment. The kiss quelling her Rosalind fueled anxiety. She needed to be connected with him for a moment before she could put it behind her or attempt to.

Tim was more than happy to oblige. Poor man has short circuited once again though. Eric once again the master of expressions comes through again. He doesn’t know how to restart. She’s like ok let’s do this and moves leaving Tim stand there in her wake. He is trying to figure out WTF just happened in the last 30 seconds.

We then get this pretty shot of them in the SUV. There is so much being said in the short time span of this shot too. We can see Lucy is still struggling with her PTSD. From the minute she heard the news Lucy has been scaling the walls emotionally. Almost like she’s back in that barrel. All her emotions threatening to drown her. Her lowering the window to get some air on her face. Cool her emotions down.

Looking at the bright lights trying to ground herself. To help her stay in character. Desperate not burn their UC covers. Tim looking over at her so much worry carried in eyes. She can feel his eyes on her and looks back at him. Their silent communication doing all the talking for them. She’s still in a panic but at least she has Tim with her. To keep her grounded and from spiraling out completely.

Tim giving the most space he’s given since this started. Not wanting to physically comfort her right now. Not because either of them want that space. It’s because he isn’t wanting to draw attention to her emotional distress. That would draw questions they can’t have right now. So they share a look and he doesn’t take his eyes off her. I love it so much.

Someone in the casino recognizes Jake. A girl. Which isn’t great. But does give us some protective Lucy which I always love. Finally getting to do that hair take down of her's. The one she threatened Stanton with back in 3x05. I love her taking charge of this moment. Getting this woman to back off. Don’t mess with Lucy Chen ya’ll lol They spot Angela and Aaron across the way after she lets this woman go. Figures this is the time to break off.

Lucy says she wants to gamble. See if they can get lucky three times in one day. Heh I love how he walks with her to them. Wish I could've fit the gif in. His hands on her shoulders from behind as they walk. Totally necessary to walk like this with her LOL I have a feeling this was possibly Eric being a goober steering her towards the table haha But either way I'm a happy girl with it. This was quite the married thing to do though regardless of why. I loved it. Also low key protecting her as they walk toward Angela and Aaron.

They update Angela on everything. Lucy’s first question is about Rosalind. Angela says she got a psycho lawyer to help break her out. We watch Lucy comprehend this. Saying 'Another Caleb....I knew it.' Then says Tamara needs protection. (No mention of Chris BTW) Her other fav human is with her. So no one else to protect from Rosalind. As they talk about this Lucy trying to keep her panic at bay but not doing the best job about it.

Angela picks up on it right away. Asking if Lucy is up for this? That she can pull out if she needs to. I adore Tim answering for her. Backing her and saying she’s solid. The look she gives Tim. My damn heart. He wasn’t gonna pull her till she told him to do so. Until then he supported and trusted her decision. The growth is astronomical in him. You see that written all over Lucy's face. It’s so damn good. You can tell she wanted to touch him as a thank you but stopped herself.

The minute they’re inside the room Lucy turns on the TV. Tim saves her from herself and turns it off. Saying they don’t know anything they don’t. Protective Tim is present through out this episode. Here for it. She is starting to spiral again and sits on the bed. She looks so tired and stressed out. Tim gives her a sweet compliment to cheer her up. He knows how down in the dumps she is about this. Wants to build her up in anyway he can. Saying how she's really good at UC. Just in awe of her once again.

The sweet smile he gives her when he says it too. Be more smitten Timothy I dare you. Lucy asks if he’s ok with her showering first? He says yeah. Then we see her break his brain once again. The door doesn’t close all the way and he gets a sneak peak of her naked back. He stumbles back to the bed trying not to look back at her. Replying 'Yeah... ok.. um fries.' LOL Lucy you have broken this man and I’m dying.

Eric once again crushes it with his facial expressions. Trying not to be turned on and needing a cold shower more than ever. What cracks me up is his sigh as he watches TV. Trying to drown out his dirty thoughts of her in the shower. She comes out saying the water pressure is epic. Wanting to steal the robes and asking if that's stealing? Tim says no it’ll just be charged to the room. She says ‘WE’ should take two then. There’s that married ‘We’ again.

You can tell Tim is antsy af to talk about their kisses. First off let me say how proud of I am of this man. This is the same man who couldn’t have a serious conversation with his current GF to save his life. He is the one to broach this topic with her. Once again making that first move. NEEDING to know if she’s feeling what he is very much feeling. Lucy is the one to bring this courage out in him. To want to talk about this.

He went far outside his comfort zone to get this convo started. Telling her it doesn’t feel like pretend to him. The look on his face as he says this. The hope in his eyes desperately trying to see if she is feeling their connection. Lucy panics and stutters in her reply. To me it’s not because she doesn’t feel the same. He has stunned her into silence. What she is worried about here is losing what they have.

To admit what’s going on between them means she now has something to risk. Something to lose if she does. Her person. The most important person in her life. Tim is far too important to her lose over them trying and possible failing. She is very aware it doesn’t feel like pretend. But isn’t willing to risk that. Ironically in a city like Vegas where one takes such risks. So she crushes Tim with her reply. Saying it’s an intimate act. It’s basic biology. You know a BS answer.

She is deflecting so she doesn’t have to risk losing him. Or confront this at all really. What she doesn’t know is the damage she just inflicted. Tim was already panicky from his convo with Angela about her not having feelings. He suddenly feels very alone in his desire for more. For feeling something. She’s basically rejected him in this moment. He is so sad with her reply.

He gives her one last chance with his ‘So you're saying it’s not a big deal? Doesn’t mean anything?’ She stumbles some more saying ‘Right?’ Wanting him to answer this question for her. She can’t possibly accept he wants her too. So she deflects once again. Tim put himself out there and she shut him down. Their convo is interrupted his cell phone. The looks she shoots his way break my heart. Knowing she’s hurt his feelings. When really she broke his heart a little.

It’s Angela with an update. He tells her he’s alone in the hotel with Lucy. Her ‘Uh oh’ always cracks me up. I love their friendship so very much. Her teasing is primo this season and it makes my heart happy. She is so shipping them and just wants her bestie to be happy. I love it. Telling him not to do anything she wouldn’t. He slams the phone shut and tosses it on bed. LOL

Lucy goes to dry her hair and there is a knock at the door. It’s the girl from earlier saying she knows he’s in there. Tim opens the door and gets hit in the face. They know he’s not Jake. Saying she told them he had a gut last time she saw him. That it was only 3 weeks ago. I mean that sucks for Sava. Means Jake was cheating on her long before 5x18.

He sends Wisco after Lucy and says he says not to kill her yet. Lucy is a BAMF and takes out most of the crew. This part is hilarious about her robe. I’m dying. 'Showed him the whole world just now.' Oh Lucy never change. Tim shakes his head so much I’m cackling. This is the woman you’ve chosen to love Timothy. So exasperated with he right now. I love how she stares down at him lovingly. But you know it’s just basic biology right Lucy?

I love love love him walking her up. That’s last bit of protectiveness being displayed. He doesn't want her to be alone. Tim saying he can’t wait to get out of these clothes. Lucy making a joke she isn’t going to miss that hairstyle. Then Tim is so cute and flirty says he kinda likes hers though. OMG he’s so damn cute. He is such a goner for her oh my word. Lucy’s smile not believing what she’s hearing. Gah this end portion was the death of me. Tim says I guess this is it as they approach her door. Saying they go back to being them tomorrow.

He almost seems sad about that fact. Lucy turning to him and sharing 'Right..everything that happened undercover they’ll leave behind'. No you won’t lol Then Tim does his dorky UC line and regrets it instantly. Scolds himself for that line. Basically saying why are you like this? LOL Cracks me up the way he shakes his head. Like why can't you be more smooth? Oh that's right because you're stupid in love with her and a nervous wreck about it. Funny pre-cursor to his 'Naked time.' line heh.

It’s then Lucy deciding to make a move here. All this talk about going back to being them stoking something inside her. Saying in a sense they’re still UC since they haven’t been debriefed. Tim not catching what she’s throwing down. Just replies 'I guess you’re right.' Lucy is eyeing him like she is ready to have him right then and there. Her ‘Mmhm.’. Trying to give him a hint as she flicks her eyes to the door. It’s then Tim starts to catch her drift. The look on his face when it hits him. Like he can't believe she feels the same way he does.

That there is something there. There is a whole lot of want and excitement in that man's eyes. Lucy has created a loophole of sorts. One where they’re still Jake and Sava. And what do Jake and Sava like to do? Have sex. Lots of hot sex. The amount of bedroom eyes Lucy is throwing at him is insane. The sultry inviting way she says ‘Do you want to come in?’ Tim falling back on his professional boundaries like he has for years. Tells her he shouldn’t…Not that he doesn’t want to. He SHOULDN’T. The song in this scene is solid too BTW. Whoever picks music for this show needs a raise.

Lucy nods and goes to open her front door. Tim looks longingly at her as she does. Lucy gives it one last go. Cranking it up on those sultry bedroom eyes of hers. Basically inviting Tim in to have his way with her. Gah Melissa killing it with the inviting stare. We watch Tim struggle outside her doorway. He has been fighting this instinct for YEARS. I’m sure whenever he had an impure thought he pushed it down. Shoved away any attraction to her. Pushed her away as well. Maintained the professional boundaries he set up years ago. (For the most part.)

Thing is he’s been slow receding those boundaries for years as well. Especially last season when that last bit of his wall collapsed. Slowly letting her into every aspect of his life. To the point that we are now here. Where Lucy is blatantly inviting him in for something very unprofessional. We see Tim have an internal battle with himself. Then basically says ‘F*ck it and comes in. His attraction and his draw to her winning out. He would be lying if he said he didn’t want this. Or hadn’t wanted it in the past before either.

Lucy asks him if he wants a drink? Can she make him one? Tim declining not wanting to waste any time in this precious loophole of theirs. Also didn’t need alcohol to have the courage to do this. He already pushed past that to even enter this apt. Not wanting to dull any senses or touch with alcohol. Wanting to be fully present with her. Lucy looks like was ready to jump his bones right then and there. The sexual tension is palpable. Their UST is off the charts with this entire scene but reaches critical levels once they’re inside.

Lucy understanding why he didn’t want that drink. Love her sweet but nervous smile as she goes to put her stuff down. It's then we see Chris there which ends up ruining everything LOL Just bleeding out on her couch. I love how Tim throws his head back when she see’s Chris is there. I’ll never forget that amount of hilarious memes Eric posted. People putting the funniest shit about him being there. I wish I could find them. They were SO funny. I’ll be honest as frustrated as I was in the moment I was glad they didn’t hook up. The UST was fantastic. Don’t get me wrong good god.

But it’s much better they got together the way they do this season. Way less mess and not worth the angst it would’ve caused for them to cheat on their SO’s. It’s the fact that they almost did that was so damn telling IMO. Phew well hot damn this was a beast to write. But I loved it. This premiere is fantastic from beginning to end. The amount of moments are unreal. Hell of a way to start out a season of non stop gifts. I haven’t watched S5 the number of times I’ve watched 1-4 so this will be fun. Excited to finish out this rewatch with you all as we count down to the S6 premiere. It’s 58 days btw...

~~~~

Side notes-Non Chenford

This isn’t something I enjoyed so much as it rubbed me the wrong way. Nolan getting a Golden Ticket. Lucy has accomplished more, done successful UC ops before and after she graduated FTO and is currently going on another UC but sure Nolan who was disgraced and held back gets one. Sure sure…it does for being Juarez in who I love so there is positives.

Tim telling Nolan he needs backup career when picking his assignment. LMFAO I LOVE THIS MAN.

Thank you thank you to this incredible fandom that has embraced these reviews. You all are amazing and I love every single like, comment and reblog I get. ❤️ shall see you all in 5x02 :)

[parad-ice-lostandfound]

Prompt: “I think December 1st is my favorite day of the whole year. On winter’s edge, with the promise of the holiday season, but not close enough to feel rushed. It’s just always felt perfect.”

Pairing: Grim and Gn!Reader/Prefect/Yuu (Familial)

Genre: Fluff

TW: NA

AN: 1st of December, and here we go! Kicking this thing off with everyone's favorite son/sidekick, Grim! Also, for the entirety of the event, let's just pretend that Christmas is a thing in Twisted Wonderland lol. I'm kinda not happy with the ending, but I'm proud of the rest. I hope you enjoy ^^

"Grim? I'm home," you called out, and a sleepy little purr reverberated through the air in acknowledgement of your words.

A familiar bundle of grey fur and warmth made his way to you as you put away your coat and scarf in the small cupboard beside the door. Grim rubbed the sleep out of his eyes, his paws pitter-pattering on the floor of your home as he made his way to you. Your favourite blanket was draped on his shoulders like a cape, the rest of the (f/c) cloth dragging on the floor behind him. He must've fallen asleep waiting for you.

You couldn't help but smile at the cat monster who had become family to you in the unfamiliar world that was Twisted Wonderland. He looked like a small child walking over to greet his parent after a long day. Carefully you scooped him up, with only a grunt and a grumble of protest from him, wrapping the rest of your blanket around him like a cocoon.

"Did you miss me, Grimmy?" You teased him, your tone as soft as it was mischievous. Grim huffed from his place in your arms, turning slightly and nuzzling against the crook of your neck. You already knew his answer.

The two of you graduated from Night Raven College years ago. Scouts from all over Twisted Wonderland sought you after learning about the magicless human who had managed to graduate with flying colours from one of the top arcane institutions. But you decided to pursue even higher studies, eventually ending up back at Night Raven College, this time as one of the faculty members.

You walked over to the living room, where the fire burned in the hearth and warmed the entire house. Settling in front of the fire with Grim lying on your lap, you hummed a soft little tune. Christmas was a long way, but your students had already started listening to festive tunes, leading to this particular one getting stuck in your head.

"Grim, what's your favourite day?" You asked him, not really expecting an answer from the feline as you scratched that one spot behind his ear that you knew he liked. Grim's ears perked, his attention now on you.

"Whaddaya mean, hench-human?"

You smiled at the nickname. "You know, the day you like the most? Personally, December 1st is my favourite day of the whole year. On winter’s edge, with the promise of the holiday season, but not close enough to feel rushed. It’s just always felt perfect.”

Grim turned in your lap, looking up at you with bright blue eyes heavy with sleep. He pawed a little at the necklace that dangled from your neck absentmindedly as he seemed to mull over your question.

"Mine's... my birthday," he said, a yawn leaving him after the sentence.

You paused your careful scratching behind his ears momentarily, a little surprised. Grim didn't use to have a birthday. At least, not until you decided to give him one, after a night of celebrating your own. The two of you celebrated the day he had met you at the entrance ceremony as his birthday, because that 'marked the start of the Great Grim's magical journey!' (his words).

"Oh?"

"Hmm.."

"Any special reason?" You asked, voice soft as you continued scratching behind his ears. Grim leaned into your touch, eyes closed as he replied, "'cause... it's the day I met you, hench-human..."

Your eyes softened as Grim's breathing evened out, your gentle actions nudging him into a deep sleep. Your hands continued lightly petting him, smoothing down the grey fur.

As the light from the hearth illuminated your figure curled up comfortably on the couch with Grim sleeping away on your lap, you couldn't help but agree more with your previous statement.

December 1st was perfect.

Back to Masterlist...

[pastel-peach-writes]

bro I love your storys so much😭especially the catvi ones lol just wanted to ask if it was possible since it's winter time, to write a Christmas special with Caitlyn and vi× reader where it's snowing and they're decorating for Christmas and opening presents n'all that holiday related stuff,i would really really appreciate it, idk if it's such a good idea tho lol,but the end of the day it's your choice if you wanna write it or not , and again I love your works,keep doing what your doing,it's literally god work😭🙏

HIII ANON! I love this idea! For those who don't celebrate Christmas, I will be making a more vague/winter headcanons post to make sure everyone is included in some way possible. Happy holidays and New Year to everyone!

Merry Christmas (Ya Filthy Animal) | CaitVi Headcanons

╰┈➤ PLOT: Headcanons of CaitVi spending Christmas with you!

╰┈➤ WARNINGS: Not Proofread, Sapphic Fluff, No Use of Y/n, Mention of Modern AU

⍣ ೋ Enjoy!⍣ ೋ

– One thing about babygirl Vi is that she absolutely loves Christmas.

– When she was younger and with her parents, they did occasional Christmas activities, but nothing serious. Then with Vander and Powder, Vi tried to keep the Christmas spark alive for her sister, but eventually, the two of them lost the Christmas spark as they grew older.

– Despite wanting to rekindle her love for Christmas, Vi never had the time or resources to (ya know, being in prison and all).

– So, with you and Caitlyn, she gets to act like a kid again.

– She forces you guys awake super early on a weekend to get a real Christmas tree, cider or hot cocoa, and to shop for some decorations.

– Caitlyn's a casual enjoyer of Christmas.

– Her family celebrated, but celebrating to the Kirammans meant fancy and stuck-up dinners, stiff Christmas dresses, and getting clothes you didn't like as a child.

– Caitlyn much preferred the romanticization of Christmas like baking cookies, taking your partner(s) out into the snow to dance in the streets, reading by the fire, and listening to Christmas songs while decorating the house.

– Also, the Kirammans believed in fake trees to avoid mess and hired someone to decorate the house once they felt Cait was old enough to remember decorating for Christmas. (so like, age 8 is when they began to hire people).

– You can imagine Caitlyn's worry when Vi first brought up chopping down a tree and dragging it into the house.

–– In Vi's words, the trees you see before the tree farm are better in height, thickness, and smell.

A grunt came from the buff pinkette. She lodged her axe into the tree's thick bark, barely making a scratch. "I'm sure, Cupcake. Come on, I've seen movies about this."

"Oh, yeah? And how did that work out for them?" you chimed.

Vi let out a sarcastic laugh. "It went just fine." – –

– After the initial shock was gone and pine droppings were scattered throughout the house, Caitlyn found herself buzzing with excitement. Vi was right. The smell of pine-scented ornaments and sprays was nothing compared to the real thing.

– Just don't tell Vi that.

– When it comes to decorating the house and the tree, you guys have a routine and assigned roles.

– Vi gets the tree, brings it in, and sets it up. You two help her of course. When everything is set up, Caitlyn goes to bake the cookies you guys made last night, Vi cleans up the tree mess (and hides the damage she made on the floors), and you start decorating the mantle.

– When your jobs are completed, you gather to decorate the tree together.

– Each year someone is assigned to put the star on top of the three. This year, it's your turn!

– Vi is a person who puts the star on before the tree is decorated while Caitlyn likes to do it last. As for you, you do whatever makes you happy.

– If you do it before, Vi cheers while Caitlyn recoils in playful disgust.

– If you do it after, Vi will try to coax you into putting the star on top but fails each time. When you finally put the star on the tree, Caitlyn sighs out of relief and takes a step back to admire the tree.

– More like a modern AU of things, VI LOVES HOME ALONE. One is her favorite, and the others are irrelevant to her.

– She wants to name a future child, or pet, Kevin, but you and Cait won't allow her.

– Naming someone, or something, that name puts them up for failure. You already have a rambunctious scamp named Vi, you don't need another named Kevin.

– As for presents, you guys like to do stockings, gift exchanges, and your own gift trade.

– In your household, one person is responsible for the other's stocking. Exp: you would have Cait's, Vi has you, and Cait has Vi,

– Though you guys try to keep it a secret, who had who is obvious. Caitlyn likes to gift thoughtful and useful gifts for the stocking stuffers, Vi just does whatever makes her laugh and what reminds her of y'all.

– One year, Caitlyn got a porcelain broken witch's shoe. The reason? The witch shoe reminds Vi of Caitlyn's heels and the broken part reminds Vi of the one time Cait stubbed her toe so hard that she misshaped the toe of her shoe.

– Vi laughed so hard she was redder than Santa's suit. Meanwhile, Caitlyn looked like she swapped faces with the Grinch.

– As for gift exchanges, Caitlyn's "uppy tighty rich" friends host a Christmas party each year.

– You three dominate the competition by bringing the best and worst gifts ever.

– The worst gifts are funnier ones, courtesy of Vi, and the better gifts you three brainstormed on and spent hours shopping for. (Sorry, Vi)

– Each year, the gifts are a hoot and Vi is thankful at least one of Caitlyn's friends knows how to season food.

– As for your own gifts, you each set a price range for individually bought gifts. This way, you can buy a partner a lot of cheaper gifts or one really big one.

– You three also set out separate times to go shopping in pairs to buy gifts.

– So, you and Vi would go shopping to get a shared gift for Caitlyn, the same with you and Cait for Vi, and then Vi and Caitlyn for you.

– The budget for those gifts is kinda all over the place, but you each have an idea of the price range because you know what the other gifts are.

– On the big day, you three start by changing into your matching PJs, if you haven't fallen asleep in them already, washing your faces together, and herding into the kitchen.

– In the kitchen, Vi is in charge of making breakfast pancakes. She's not in charge because she's good or anything, no. Instead, she's in charge because she tries to make the pancakes holiday-shaped but fails miserably.

– You and Caitlyn take joy in guessing what shape the pancake is supposed to be.

– You focus on the other aspects of breakfast like the meat, eggs, grits or rice, etc. Whatever you see fit, you make.

– This leaves Caitlyn to make the hot drinks which is more like an unspoken rule.

– When the three of you first moved in together, you and Vi would make Caitlyn's coffee for her because she had long nights and early mornings. This would be one thing to take off her morning list, right?

– WRONG.

– With each new attempt, the coffee always came out wrong to Caitlyn.

– At first, the mistakes made sense.

– "Vi, I'm chewing grounds in my coffee." "Darling, this is Earl Grey, not coffee."

– But once you and Vi got the hang of things, her reasons got nitpicky.

– "This roast isn't dark enough." "Too dark." "Is this decaf?" "Is this even the right brand of coffee?"

– Eventually, you and Vi studied her when she made her coffee and jolted the recipe down. But, even following her routine to the exact "T" wasn't good enough.

– – "You know what?" Vi huffed, tossing down the spoon she used to scoop the coffee beans. "I don't want to do this anymore. Day in and day out, we always get her 'order' wrong. I don't think it's worth the extra hour of getting up."

With a heavy sigh, you stare into the empty mug you held. Deep down, you knew Vi was right but you both agreed to take on the challenge and to one day give Caitlyn her perfect cup of joe. It couldn't be the end already...

It's only been a year and 36 days!

"Yeah," you said putting the mug back in the cupboard. "Maybe we're not good coffee makers, Vi." Vi slung her arm around your shoulders, grinning proudly.

"I'm fine with that, Muffin. Are you?"

Feeling some sort of accomplishment stir inside you, you nod and match her grin. "Yeah, actually. Like you said, we get an extra hour of sleep back."

45 minutes later, Caitlyn woke up to no coffee on her nightstand. Relief washed over her and she smiled after coming to. Finally, the war was over.

Caitlyn could make her coffee and have her mornings to herself before going to work.

Here's a little secret about Caitlyn: she didn't want you guys making her coffee in the first place. Her coffee was the one thing she had to control over on weekdays. She didn't want anyone else taking that from her. – –

– Since then, Caitlyn has been in charge of making her own coffee and other hot drinks on Christmas day.

– After eating breakfast and trying to guess the shapes of pancakes, you three gather in the living room and open up stockings.

– Of course, Caitlyn already has the fireplace on and Christmas music playing softly in the background.

– As for opening the actual gifts, Cait's the type to open them up carefully and precisely. Vi is as violent as Jinx when it comes to opening up her wrapped gifts.

– Vi likes to say, "No way!" or laugh really loudly when she gets a gift she wasn't expecting.

– Caitlyn's smile takes over her face, her eyes beaming. Her cheeks get pink as she realizes you and Vi pay more attention to her than she thought and then she says a sheepish "thank you".

– It happens every year and you wouldn't change it for the world.

– When you open your gifts, the girls cling onto each other and giggle when you open a gift they said you weren't getting.

– "HA! Bet you thought you weren't getting that, huh, Muffin?" "That is the right one, yes? We knew you wanted it for a while."

– If they ever remember to get a camera, they forget every year, they take pictures of your sweet face and cute cheeks when you open up your gifts.

– People's hearts and bodies typically warm up after having something hot, but Vi and Cait's warm at the sight of your smile and pure joy.

– Your essence and feeling is the only thing that can't be captured with a photograph, but Caitlyn and Vi are grateful to experience it first hand.

WC: 1,730

[snowblossomreads]

Day 22: String of Lights

Pairing: Sinclair Bryant x Amiee Huang (OC)

Summary: It's Amiee's birthday and Sinclair makes it a memorable one. Kind of a continuation of Day 12 Giver of Gifts.

Tag(s)/Warning(s): drinking, smut, oral (fem receiving), new kink discovery, age gap, size difference, penetrative sex, just a good time 😌

Word Count: 5.1K

A/N: 🎉🎉it's my kid's bday (aka Amiee's LOL) so why not celebrate it with her having some fun with Sinclair 😉😉. I won't hold you all up with my rambles other than saying have fun : D!

MDNI

She had to admit, as much as she complained about not wanting to be fussed over for her birthday, Amiee was very much amazed when Sinclair led her into a restaurant that made her feel like they had walked into the Victorian era.

Everything about the place screamed opulent, from the dark colour scheme to the tall windows where you could peer out to see people walking about on the streets. There was also a little area in the corner of the dining room where a tiny string quartet was, serenading the guests of the establishment. 

The spiralling staircase they were led up to was also glowing with strings of lights that had been put up for Christmas. If one looked up from the stairs, one would be able to see a ring of hanging ivy that held lanterns in them which bathed the stairwell in a comforting warm orange light.

They were then directed to a private room where when they stepped in, a few of her friends and her sister stood greeting the couple with a loud and enthusiastic,

"Happy Birthday Amiee!"

Even though she knew they all would be here, their presence, coupled with the surprise of the restaurant that he had chosen for them, caused her whole being to warm at how much joy was in one room. And all of it was geared towards her.

Once she had a chance to greet everyone, they were able to settle down and have their drinks served to them while they waited for food. There was a toast, dedicated to her before they dug into their respective meals and everyone seemed more than pleased with what they had ordered.  For her, a spiced duck cottage pie piqued her interest and it had been an excellent choice. The flavors were familiar to her, yet when they were put together, everything was made even more delicious.

"Sinclair you have to try this it's dead good," she praised as she spooned some of the food up and offered it up to the man who perked up at the sound of more food.

Happy to take a bite of her own meal, he leaned over to eat what was offered before he let out a loud moan at the flavour causing her to giggle. The noise also seemed to pull laughter out of some of the others who heard it, as they weren't quite used to someone who showed their appreciation for food as loudly and enthusiastically as he did.

"Mmm, it is delicious!" He sighed now wishing he had also gotten the same. Granted he quite liked what he had gotten to…maybe he should have ordered both? 

"Here have some of mine, it's very good as well...it's almost gone though," he added sadly, looking forlorn at how he was over halfway done with his meal.

Amiee held in the soft laugh that tickled at her as she accepted some of his remaining lamb curry and he was right it was tasty.

"Oh it's good too, the spice is just right for this, and the lamb isn't too gamey!" She praised, knowing that probably everything on the menu was delicious. 

With how upscale the place was it better have been.

"Maybe we should order some to go?" She asked with a tilt of her head, and immediately that seemed to cause his mood lift.

"Exactly what I was thinking!" Sinclair beamed as he leaned over and planted a chaste kiss on her cheek causing her face to heat up.

Grinning up at him, Amiee repeated his action, pressing her lips on his cheek and laying her head on his shoulder for a brief minute as they just smiled at one another. This seemed to get a rise out of their dinner mates who made little 'oooh' sounds towards the couple at how grossly cute they were being.

"You guys not in front of our food!" Tina, one of Amiee's friends teased, pulling the couple out of their little moment with one another. "Pipe down over there will ya? I don't think we ordered a show with dinner."

Maybe it was the drinks that were causing her to loosen up, as she was almost done with her second cocktail. It was some pretty-sounding one, the drink, a something rose gold or whatever. The drink was fruity and flowery yet the liquor cut the sweetness just right. Being with her friends, sister, and of course, Sinclair, who barked out a laugh at her friend's observation, was also probably causing her to feel a bit lighter. But whatever it was, it made her feel bold.

"No one's telling you to 'ave a look, mind your business!" Amiee teased back, throwing her friend a cheeky look before leaning over to plant another kiss on Sinclair's cheek.

Everyone seemed to get a bit of amusement out of that as they all burst into fits of laughter, Amiee including as she laid her head back on Sinclair's shoulder. Looking down at her, he gave her a bright grin that she returned before he planted a kiss on her forehead which made her heart twist and squeeze in a comforting manner.

They carried on for another hour or so before one of the waiters came out with a lovely cake topped with berries, chantilly cream, and at least twenty-something candles. When Amiee caught sight of it, she was absolutely buzzing as it neared them suddenly no longer full from the meal they had just had.

"Sinclair is that what I think it is?" She chirped, beginning to bounce subconsciously a little in her seat as he took the cake from the waiter and sat it in front of her. 

"Of course!" He cheered after thanking the waiter who scurried away. "We can't have a birthday without a cake! Now come on, blow them out separately one by one," he encouraged with as much excitement as she had. "A wish for each one, go on darling!"

She laughed as everyone cheered her on and she squinted her eyes at Sinclair in a playful glare before she did as he told her to. Though, before she even got halfway done she playfully placed her hand in Sinclair's face causing him to protest as his vision was obscured while she blew the candles out all at once.

"See look all done," she laughed as she showed the cake off to Sinclair who couldn't help the hearty laugh that left him at her being so cheeky. "I'm quite a great blower if I do say so myself."

Realizing what she had said, Amiee slapped her hand over her mouth, eyes wide in embarrassment when howls of laughter peeled from everyone in the room from her slip-up. Had her cheeks not already been red from the alcohol, they were surely on fire now. 

She was going to blame it on the drinks and how comfortable she was with everyone, because not even a moment later was she joining in on the laughter, unable to take herself too seriously with them having such a good time and all.

Feeling Sinclair wrap an arm around her waist and pull her close, Amiee leaned over towards him, only for his lips to brush against her ears, causing a chill to run down her spine as his warm breath tickled her ear.

"You are a fantastic blower darling," he purred lowly in that delicious voice of his that had her thighs snapping shut and her looking at him with shock. 

Yet, a glint of something else was in their eyes as he pulled away and stared at her with a mischievous grin. Their locked eyes were only on each other for a moment, but it was enough to light her belly up with warmth and desire as she felt a fluttering sensation begin to grow. 

Taking a deep breath and trying to calm her hammering heart, Amiee turned her attention from Sinclair and back to the rest of the party that was trying to gather themselves. Once everyone had gotten control of their laughter, Amiee was allowed to cut a piece of cake for herself before she let it be passed around.

Sinclair volunteered to feed her the first bite, which was sweet of him considering it took a lot to keep him from digging into food right away. She happily accepted and clapped her hands a little at the subtle sweetness of the cream and how well it paired with the tart berries.

It was excellent, just as the whole night had been, though, it was still young and as they went on, she couldn't get what Sinclair had whispered to her out of her mind. As she licked the cream from her lips, she couldn't help but think of something else that she would enjoy tasting.

Her eyes flicked over to Sinclair who was inhaling his dessert and she felt a pang of desire in her stomach. Well, it was her birthday he wouldn't say no, would he? Looking back down at her cake, she quietly continued to eat as her mind drew up lewd images of them tangled in sheets and writhing in pleasure on his bed. It wasn't a surprise that by the end of everything, her cunt was throbbing furiously wanting to reenact what she had played in her mind.

By the time they had all finished and everyone was waving goodbye, it was past 11 pm and she was aching to go back to Sinclair's place. First, though, she had made sure Angie would be okay getting back to their parent's by herself and the younger woman only laughed and waved her sister off.

"I'll be fine! And by the way you've been staring holes in Sinclair, I think you'd prefer it that way. Have fun you two!"

Embarrassment flooded Amiee once again as her sister walked away from them and she wanted to crawl in a hole for being that obvious. But that desire was quickly overtaken the moment Sinclair placed his hand around her waist and kissed her cheek. It was like flames were lapping at her insides when she looked up at him with glazed eyes that were no longer from the drinks, well maybe just a bit, mostly though it was a desire to be close to him.

"Ready to go darling?" He asked with that brightness that was in contrast to the freezing winter night.

"Y-yeah," she stuttered out, leaning against him as he guided them to his car.

Opening the door and waiting till she was settled, Sinclair closed the passenger side door and got in on his side before they were driving off back to his flat.

Christmas tunes and Sinclair's rich baritone filled the air as he sang along with them, and it was such a sight seeing him bubble with cheer. Yet she was distracted, not by his singing, which was unsurprisingly very good, but by his hands as he shifted gears while driving. It was an odd thing to suddenly be fixated on but she was.

She had always liked his hands and how big they were compared to hers. It was one of the many things she found attractive about him, even if she was a bit bashful when it came to saying it out loud. Being towered over by him always did make her a bit dizzy and when he put his hands anywhere on her she always felt breathless for a moment. They were just so nice and she loved them on her, on her waist, on her lower back, on her thighs, on her neck, on her tits...

A dreamy sigh left her lips and she rubbed her thighs together already imagining the wetness that was pooling in her knickers from the thoughts in her mind. Before she knew what she was doing, she bit her lower lip as she laid her hand on top of his that was on the gear shift.

Sinclair didn't seem to think anything of it as he turned his head momentarily to give her a boyish grin before his attention returned to the road.

They stayed like that for a moment, and when she knew he wouldn't need to change gears again for the time being, she lifted his hand from the gear shift which caught his attention and he looked at her briefly.

"Amiee?" He questioned as she placed his hand on her inner thigh, his warm fingers causing heat to bubble in her stomach at his touch. Slowly she guided him under her dress sliding his hand up, up, up, until he was touching her through her sodden knickers.

"Mmm 'Clair," she moaned breathlessly, rolling her hips towards his touch as he pressed against her gingerly causing her breath to catch and her fingers to grip the side of her seat. "I think- oh, I think, I need a bit of sorting out soon," she managed to breathe out as she leaned her head back against the headrest as he continued to stroke her.

"We're almost home darling," he groaned loudly as he teased her over her clothes a bit more by pushing his fingers slightly into her. His movement caused her to shudder, and let out a broken whine before he slipped his hand away to grab the gear shift as the car began to rattle a little letting him know he needed to shift gears. "Let's not get ourselves killed before we get there."

She whined when his hand retreated, and immediately clamped her legs shut trying to keep pressure on her throbbing cunt that protested him stopping. Thankfully, he had been right when he had said they were almost back because she was on the verge of just jumping him in the car garage when he parked.

It was less than five minutes before they were barrelling out of the car. The cold air of winter did little to dampen the desire that was burning her alive as they entered the lift in the building to take them to his floor.

The lift ride up was filled with tension as Sinclair wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into a deep kiss that had her whimpering against his thin lips. His tongue caressed her lips looking for permission that she gave him with no hesitation before. The moment she parted her lips, their tongues were clashing in a passionate dance as they tasted each other's mouths. Tongues licking and searching as they let loud moans of desire fill the air of the metal box. 

Hand trailing down her back, Sinclair squeezed her bum roughly beneath her coat and dress causing her to squeal into the messy kiss. Her cunt fluttered at the action and she would have dropped her knickers then and there if they weren't interrupted by the 'ding' of the elevator letting them know they had arrived on their floor.

Quickly they broke apart, breathless and already dishevelled as they exited the lift with urgency and rushed to his door where Sinclair clumsily fiddled with his keys for a second before finally unlocking the door and dragging them inside.

The door closed with a loud slam as Amiee tugged her coat off and kicked her shoes to the side while Sinclair did the same. Neither of them were worried about the mess they were creating and were more concerned about getting to his bedroom lest they ended up on the floor together.

"Sinclair!" She squealed when she turned to him and was being picked up with an ease that had her cunt throbbing as she wrapped her legs around his waist and leaned down to kiss his neck.

He groaned noisily as she peppered hungry kisses against his jaw and face and it was a miracle he hadn't dropped her or bumped into anything as they made it down the hallway. Kicking the bedroom door open, he plopped her on the foot of bed and hurriedly took his shirt off with Amiee taking his lead and discarding her dress to the side.

Before she could take her bra off fully, Sinclair was on top of her with only his boxers hanging on his hips and she let out a noisy groan when she felt his cock rub against her belly as he helped her rid of the pesky underthing. Tossing her bra aside, Sinclair leaned down to take her lips in another desperate kiss, while one of his hands completely covered her breast causing her to arch into his touch. Squeezing the supple skin in his hand, Sinclair went to pinch and pull at her nipple that had her wiggling beneath him in pleasure.

"Sinclair please," she gasped, as he pulled away from her lips and began to kiss down her neck until he was swirling his tongue around her hardened nub and taking the pert thing into his mouth.

She let out another loud whine as she rolled her hips against the bulge in his boxers, electricity shooting in her veins each time he would nip at the bud. He alternated between each breast leaving her breathless and her cunt soaking and wanting the same attention as her soft mounds.

Hearing the neediness in her voice, he pulled away admiring how the red marks bloomed on her chest and he very much considered her a work of art with the way she stared at him with lidded eyes. And he couldn't stop himself from saying just that as he continued to kiss down her belly causing the muscles to clench as he neared the spot she wanted him to be.

"You are a work of art darling, god so beautiful," he groaned as his fingers trailed the waistband of her panties before he dragged them off her in a hurry.

She lifted her hips as he dragged the sodden things off her, and they too were discarded unceremoniously somewhere on his floor for them to find tomorrow.

"Absolutely gorgeous, just like a Monet, or a Picasso," he rambled as he kissed her inner thighs while her heady scent wafted up his nostrils as he neared her core that was aching for him to touch. "Or maybe even one of Le Burn's portraits," he whispered as he nuzzled her dripping opening that had her gasping and gripping the bed sheets tightly. "But," he started pulling away from her just slightly so his voice wasn't muffled. "I think you're more beautiful than anything they could have ever created."

Had her brain not been mush from her desire and they were in a different situation, she would probably have thought him cheesy even if his words made her heart soar as well. Yet, because they were in a more well, sensual moment, it only made her heart beat faster as her opening fluttered from his honeyed words.

She hadn't time to think much of it though, as once he was done with his little declaration, he was diving down towards her opening and began to lap stripes up and down her soaked cunt.

"Oh fuck!" She cried out in delight as a hand went to grip his thick blond tresses as he began to eat her out like...well him. Messy and enthusiastic "Sin-Sinclair oh god yes just like that please just like that love!"

His name on her tongue and her pleas only spurred him on to make her feel good as he lapped at her juices, swirling his tongue against her opening as he began to grind his hips against the bed to soothe the ache in his cock.

Rutting against the sheets, he sucked at her lower lips before pressing at her entrance with skilled digits that collected some of her wetness before he was easing himself into her. A broken moan left her lips at the intrusion as he began to loosen her up, his tongue swirling around her clit and his finger thrusting inside her channel that sucked him in.

One finger became two as he scissored her open and she was sure she was going to explode when he began to hit that rough patch in her that had her hips canting upwards and his name dripping from her lips.

"Right there, right there Sinclair!" Amiee gasped as she rolled her hips in tandem with his thrusts, her insides fluttering, and her channel gripping his fingers as she was pushed further and further towards the edge. 

Her eyes closed and her lips parted as harsh pants left her, she was so close, so fucking close. Yet, Sinclair had other ideas because when he felt her body about to succumb to the waves she had been riding, he gave her clit one last lick before he pulled his drenched digits out of her. This caused her eyes to fly open, and a disappointed whine of his name to leave her lips as the fire in her belly seemed to grow with his reluctance to let her finish.

It was quickly quieted by him moving back on top of her and pressing his lips against hers, and she couldn't stifle the moan that escaped her at the taste of her own juices on his lips.

"Not only beautiful but you taste better than any of the wines that France or California could ever make," he groaned as he pulled away and sucked her juices off his digits that glistened with her arousal.

That action caused a stronger pang of desire to wash over her and she was sure if he wasn't in her soon she was going to lose her mind.

"Sinclair," she whined sitting up a little "Please just fuck me already," she pleaded, nuzzling the side of his face desperate for him to calm her twitching insides. "I'm the birthday girl, right? And I want you as my present so please fuck me before I lose my mind!"

Well, she was right. It was her birthday, and who was he to deny the birthday girl what she wanted especially when she had indulged him during his past birthday.

"If that's what the birthday girl wants," he teased, pulling away from her. "Then who am I to deny her?"

Her eyes lit up at his words as she watched him get off the bed and take his boxers off. The moment he slipped the article of clothing off, his cock sprang to attention against his belly and she had to stop herself from crawling over and sucking him off.

Even from where she was, she could see how angry the tip looked and the glistening of precum that leaked from it. It had her even more excited as he got back on the bed and scooped her up in his arms to devour her lips in a hungry kiss.

It was sloppy and wet, as she let him dominate her mouth only to have him let out a whine into it when she wrapped her hand around him and began to pump his cock. Her fingers barely touched when wrapped around him which was a testament to how large he was, or rather how tiny she was compared to him. The thought only spurred her movements causing Sinclair to pull away from the kiss with a throat groan.

"Amiee, fuck, A-Amiee" he stuttered grabbing her hand to keep her from stroking him anymore as he already felt like he was going to explode. "If you keep it up you know I won't make it inside of you darling."

That she could not have, even if she enjoyed the whines he would let out when she would stroke him or suck him off. They were addicting to hear and she was grateful that he wasn't shy about letting her know that she made him feel good. It was definitely helpful their first few times around considering her own shyness about sleeping with him.

"I guess you're right," she sighed dramatically, reluctantly loosening her grip on him so that he could slip away. "Can't have you coming unless it's in me. Be a waste."

"Exactly," he purred, kissing her once more. "Now how do you want me? I think as birthday girl you should get to decide. Unless you want me to decide because if that's your decision then I have to do it because you're-."

She didn't let him finish his question as she pressed her lips against his to quiet him before pulling away and scrambling up to the head of the bed.

Getting on her hands and knees, Amiee lowered her upper body on the mattress, her arse and dripping hole on full display for him as she wiggled her hips at him.

He felt himself throb at the sight of her as he grabbed her waist and got comfortable in between her spread thighs. Gripping his cock, he leaned over her body and lined himself up with her hole, swiping the tip of it against her sticky folds that parted with a wet sound.

"Mmm just like that," she sighed. Her head resting on the pillow she had grabbed to both hold and help prop herself up a little so she would be more comfortable in the position.

He ran the head of his cock over her opening a few times to collect the wetness leaking out of her before he was slowly pushing himself into her tight heat.

A loud shaky breath left Amiee's lip as she felt the burn of his thick length splitting her open and she couldn't stop the way she trembled as he slowly slipped into her. It felt like an eternity as he pulled halfway out before pushing back into her slowly so that her body could get accustomed to how big he was.

He repeated the actions two more times, each time being rewarded with moans that increased louder and louder as he went deeper and deeper with each pass. Until finally,

"Fuck Sinclair," she gasped, her body shaking as he finally slid all the way in her. His body towering over hers as he held her still on his cock while basking in how tight her channel was even with him stretching her out.

The whimpers she let out as her cunt clenched around him were muffled by the pillow that she had buried her face in. She was sure if he stayed still in her for a bit longer she could come just because of the sheer size of him in her and how turned on she was by it. 

"Please fuck me please," she begged wantonly, no longer able to hold still and slowly beginning to move her hips back and forth trying to spur him to move.

Letting out a gasp as she slid herself against him, Sinclair decided that it was time to give her, and him to an extent, what she had been pleading for the entire night. Tightening his grip on her waist, he began to snap his hips against hers with such force that she was only able to let out a choked cry once before any other noise was inaudible.

"Yesyesyes oh yes! Sin-Sinclair!" She shouted her voice going up in pitch when he slammed back into her causing her to grip the pillow she was holding as she buried the side of her face into it. "Right there, right there!" Her little sobs filled the room as tears pricked her eyes from how good it felt to be completely full of him.

The sound of skin slapping against skin echoed around the room along with pleas of 'faster', 'harder,' or her simply saying his name over and over as he fucked her. Her poor cunt was going to be absolutely sore the next day the way he was using her, but it was worth it as after all she had been begging him to fuck her. And now that he was, she didn't care as having him in her was worth the soreness that would come afterwards.

Her thoughts were cut short though when she felt his hand find the back of her neck and push her down further into the bed. A warmth bloomed in her stomach at the sudden action and it translated to her cunt soaking Sinclair even more, evident by the increase of noise that suddenly accompanied the action and her crying out in pleasure.

"Aha!" Sinclair half gasped half exclaimed. A bit of amusement in his tone as if he had just discovered something while he continued to thrust into her. "I, fuck, I read that some women, god, like when their partners are a little on the crass side and ah thought this be a good time try."

What a hell of a time to think about that, was what she would have said if she wasn't being railed within an inch of her life and actually coherent. Yet she was, and when she felt his fingers slip in between them, the digits circling her clit causing her toes to curl and her eyes to shut tight, she knew she was in trouble.

"I was going to ask if you liked it, but I think you've already given me an answer."

She wanted to fucking scream. The way he had pointed the fact out sounded so arrogant even if it wasn't supposed to be that way yet for some reason her cunt seemed to love it.

"Oh god!" She choked, barely having time to brace herself for the orgasm that suddenly tore through her, and it seemed Sinclair was caught off guard as well. A noisy groan was ripped from his lips as he stilled against her while her cunt tightened around him and held him close as he began to fill her up with hot spurts of cum.

Their loud moans and whines slowly began to turn into equally loud pants as they both tried to regain any sense they had left as exhaustion quickly settled in. It was only moments later when Sinclair found the energy to slip out of Amiee, did he roll her over to hug her naked body against his.

"Happy birthday darling," Sinclair panted out, kissing her sweaty forehead that had hair stuck against it. She was too tired to even make a noise as he moved down and kissed her lips. "Make sure you go to the toilet soon though,” he mumbled, as he cuddled her the way she had asked him to after their first time together, finding that he also liked very much being close to her after sex. “Even if the chances are slim, ” he yawned, “I don’t want you getting an infection you know. Those are never fun.” 

Trying to make a noise of affirmation she only let out what was a mix of a groan and an 'okay'. She would get up in a minute, but right now, she was too tired bathing in the after glow of her orgasm and more importantly, too focused on the new kink she had discovered in the heat of the moment.

Huh, what a birthday surprise this was.

A/N: Sinclair's love language is making sure you use the bathroom after sex because he doesn't want you getting sick. Love that LOL . But also not only did Amiee get what she wanted for her bday she also got herself a new kink that may or may not have been floating in her head already 🤣🤣. Good for her.

Tagging: @deepperplexity , @mercurial-make-em-ups

[ddaz3d-and-cc0nfused]

𝙳𝙰𝚈 𝚃𝚆𝙴𝙽𝚃𝚈-𝙵𝙸𝚅𝙴: Proposing on Christmas w/ Daryl Dixon

a/n: it's the final day, and this challenge has sure given me a run for my money oh my goodness. i'm not proud that i let this challenge slip away from me, but i am proud that i didn't allow myself to abandon it, even though i did want to on major occasions. sadly, i had suffered a severe case of writers' block and burnt-out motivation, but it seems as though my time away has lifted my spirits! i have received many requests leading up to now, so i'll be sure to catch up on those slowly but surely, and i thank those who have been oh so patiently waiting. i also want to thank everyone for their support on this! it truly was fun, but i think that's enough challenges for me until later lol!!

masterlist | ficmas masterlist | AO3

Daryl was never one to be nervous, let alone on Christmas.

Even before the fall of humanity, he had never once celebrated, and even if he did, it would’ve been a shitty holiday in the Dixon family household, accompanied by a drunk and abusive father, with an equally high and bigot brother, and an absent mother.

So, it was safe to say that the man had never once imagined himself celebrating, until you, until he learned how this was your favorite time of the year, how he had noticed the lift in your spirits as the first snow fell. Until he had imagined himself being with you forever.

He had seen the happiness that marriage had brought Glenn & Maggie, but he also saw the sadness that plagued Lori & Rick as well. He had seen how broken up Maggie was when Negan had killed Glenn, how vengeful Rick became when Lori had lost her life to giving birth to Judith.

He had seen the highs and lows of every kind of marriages, so he had no choice but to ask the only woman that he could trust, and that was Michonne. Yes, Rick was gone. There was no going around it. He had spent months out in the open searching for what felt like a ghost, and in those moments of loneliness, of a punishment he had unknowingly sent himself to, he had realized that he couldn’t be without you, and it would be the biggest mistake he had ever made if continued in this life without you being permanently bound to him.

“Michonne.” Daryl called out to the woman as he approached her. It took her attention away from whatever council business she was in the middle of. “I uh- I gotta ask ya something.’” He said as he fidgeted with his fingers nervously. “Anything.” She said with a smile on her face. “So, I wanted to uh- propose to ______, ‘nd I wanna do it on Christmas but, I don’ know how to.” He confessed sheepishly. The smile on her face was one that wanted to tease, but also help the poor guy out.

“Just do it from the heart, Daryl. I know for a fact that she won’t say no, trust me.” Her words were comforting, and she knew that she would never lie to him.

Now all that was left was waiting for the right moment. Does he dress up? Does he gather an audience? It was only then that he realized how intimate and personalized proposals were. There was no right way to do it, in the moment when you two were alone, trudging through the forest as it snowed that he felt deep within his gut that this was it, the moment he had been waiting for.

“Stop.” He said suddenly, hearing the crunching that was coming from behind him cease. “Dar? What’s wrong?” You asked him quietly, eyes frantically searching in front of him for any type of danger, or food. “I uh-“ What was he supposed to say now? He turned around to face you, taking your hands in his. “The snow making you feel romantic, Daryl?” You teased, a soft smile on your face as you watched his large hand swallow yours. “I guess.” He confessed with his own crooked smile on his face.

“I know ‘m supposed’ta know what’ta say but... I ain’ never done anything like this before. I’ve thought about this for a long time, hell, even asked Michonne to help me, but uh-" He got down on one knee and you swear you stopped breathing. “Daryl?” You asked shakily. He looked up at you through the hair in his face and dug something from within his back pocket. He had always had a habit of carrying your ring with him everywhere he went.

“Ya don’ gotta say nothin’ jus’... will ya marry me?” There it was the big question that had sat in the back of his throat and his mind for what felt like years. He watched as a large smile broke out on your face despite the tears spilling down your full, cold cheeks. “What do you mean I don’t have to say anything, Daryl? Of course, I’ll marry you!” You could practically scream at the top of your lungs as he stood up, his pants leg now soaked in melted snow. You giggled at the sight of it and Daryl grinned, reaching for your hand and slipping on the band that he had made for you.

“I know it ain’ much, but there’s only so many rings shop in the world, and I didn’ know what your ring size was.” You cupped his cheeks, thumb rubbing at the scruff. “Daryl, it’s perfect, and it’s so... you. I don’t need a gold or diamond ring, all I need is you, always and forever.” And with that, you kissed him, and he kissed you back, pulling your body into his.

At the end of the day, both of you walked out of the greenery as husband and wife. Not yet at least.

ೃ⁀➷ my lovely taglist!: @alina02 @louderfortheback @minervadashwood

[silverbladexyz]

Helloo! It is i, the same anon who requested the night and morning routines with the hunting dogs, and first of all i just wanted to say that i really love your writing and how detailed it is!! Everytime i read one of your fics i am literally so amazed at how you write the characters, no matter who it is. So when i saw that you’re requests were open i got so happy, and this time i would like to ask for the hunting dogs (YES THEM AGAIN, I JUST LOVE THEM SO MUCH) and how they would spend the holidays with their s/o, how they would prepare for christmas, etc. (and of course just platonic with Teruko, like a best friend reader. And also no Fukuchi lol) And once again, feel free to remove whoever you want to because i completely understand if this is too much. Anyways, i hope you have a great day/night!!

-🕯

Omg helloooo anon!!! Welcome back!! Thank you, I'm honoured to know that you like my writing >.< and I love the Hunting Dogs too, so of course I'll write for them :)

The images do not belong to me. They belong to their original owners.

TW: Slight mentions of death

Hunting Dogs spending holidays with their S/O (best friend for Teruko)

Tecchou:

-I feel like the Hunting Dogs don’t get a lot of holidays, however, for the sake of this post let’s say that they do ^-^

-Tecchou wouldn’t really mind spending the holidays in any way really, as long as he gets to spend time with you. You could literally drag him out to do a day-long hike or go shopping at the mall until it was 11PM and he would not complain. In fact, he likes it and always looks forward to going out to a new place everyday

-However, he also wouldn’t mind just spending time at home with you. Do some fun couples activities together! Like baking, playing video games, couples yoga, reading books, working out, anything really! Although please keep an eye on Tecchou when he bakes, because not only might he add some sus stuff into the mixture, he might set the house on fire

-Would probably wake up early just to exercise. I’m so sorry if you’re not a morning person, because Tecchou would drag you to exercise with him everyday at 7AM in the morning, even when it was the holidays. But sometimes, he also likes a good sleep in that includes a long cuddling session

-Holidays with him are either chill or quite adventure-filled. There is never a dull moment that goes by

-Now I feel like Tecchou doesn’t really celebrate Christmas; at the most he’ll bid everyone a ‘Merry Christmas’ and accept gifts from people. But he is more than happy to decorate a Christmas tree with you and just spend a great Christmas with you in general

-Oh but please tell Tecchou that the pine trees that are put up for Christmas are normally fake and could be bought in stores... because Tecchou is going to actually drag a pine tree all the way home to use as decoration. Yes, you heard me. A literal. Pine. Tree

-Even though it’s sweet that the thought’s there, I’m pretty sure that you wouldn’t want to be sharing your home with tons of bugs and whatever else lives in pine trees, am I right? Not to mention it probably is illegal to do that

-But other than that, Tecchou is absolutely down to celebrating Christmas the way you celebrate it. He’d help decorate the house, put Christmas lights everywhere, even put on some Christmas songs. Even when his taste in food is questionable, his taste in decoration is impeccable. Because all he wants for Christmas is to have a good time with you :)))

-Buy presents for him!!! He would be a bit clueless on why people give presents on Christmas, but he’ll catch on quickly, and even buy presents for you!! But beware, he’ll buy you a lot of presents, and they are the most random presents you have ever seen. Please educate him on this whole Christmas-gifts thing, because he’s trying :(

-Teach him everything about Christmas, because he would love to learn about it. Tecchou might even dress up as Santa Claus and volunteer at the local mall to talk to the kids, and he answers questions so seriously that the kids are lowkey scared of him lol. Please teach him before Jouno murders him

-Christmas nights are normally spent cuddling in front of the fireplace. It’s dark, the candles give a cosy atmosphere, and cuddling with Tecchou is the absolute best thing to do 💗

Jouno:

-Jouno isn’t really fussed on how he spends the holidays; so long as he isn’t exhausted by the end of the day or has to go to really loud places, then he’s perfectly fine with anything

-He strikes me more of the type to stay at home with you and spend quality time with you. You’ll find that cuddling sessions have increased by at least two times, and the amount of kisses too

-Slow dancing with him in the kitchen at nighttime!!! Even though Jouno’s blind, his other sharp senses and great reflexes make him a really good slow dancer. If you don’t know anything about slow dancing, he will teach you, but beware he might tease you a bit for how cute you looked as you were struggling to learn it. Step on his feet please

-Now that it’s the holidays, Jouno definitely is going to sleep in with you. If you wake him up early to work out with him, he’s going to be a bit annoyed, but he won’t object to working out with you. It might help him be stronger than Tecchou, afterall

-If you wanted to go out somewhere to spend time with him, Jouno doesn’t mind, as long as his senses don’t get overwhelmed. But he would prefer taking nice, long walks in the evening where the sunset is beautiful and there is just the two of you on the stroll

-In the rare moments, he might even link his fingers with yours. Hold his hand back and stroke it! It might catch him by surprise at first, but if you’re observant, you might just notice his thumb lightly stroking the back of your hand. It’s very soft though... so pay extra attention

-Honestly just wants to spend his holidays by being with you as much as he can. I feel like his love language is mostly quality time, so Jouno is going to spend as much time as possible with you

-Now for celebrating Christmas... Jouno isn’t really the type to celebrate Christmas. However, convince him and he will eventually join in with your Christmas celebration. He wouldn’t want the house to be decorated too much though, because he just doesn’t want to spend a lot of time packing them up :/

-But he will go gift shopping with you! I headcanon that Jouno has great tastes when it comes to presents, it’s just that sometimes he’s a troll and gets you something to tease you. However he will be serious and buy you some extra nice gifts for Christmas

-I feel like Jouno would be a bit more romantic on Christmas. Playful kisses, fleeting touches, and just being more romantic in general. If you tease him for being all lovey-dovey and soft, he’s going to tease you extra hard 10x back

-Would definitely whisper to you a merry Christmas on Christmas Eve, probably accompanied by a kiss

Tachihara:

-Tachihara definitely wants to get out of the house and spend the holidays with you

-I feel like he’s more of the hiking and beach type, but if you wanted to go shopping with him he’d gladly accompany you. Just please don’t buy too much stuff because he’s going to trip and fall while carrying them

-Sleeping in and cuddles is a must. Now that Tachihara has more time to spend with you, he’s not losing a second of it, so expect lots and lotsss of affection. He won’t do it every single second, but when he does, you’ll be covered in hugs and kisses

-Also loves taking walks with you. He would take you to actual 5km walks where the scenery is beautiful, and you wouldn’t feel so tired because Tachihara would keep you company. But if you were absolutely exhausted, Tachihara will definitely give you a piggyback ride, maybe even carry you bridal style when nobody’s around xD

-Video games and movie nights!!! I headcanon that Tachihara loves playing Mario-Kart and Fortnite, as well as anything you play. Most of the time you two end up trolling little kids on Roblox, and it’s mighty fun. Even then, it’s very amusing watching Tachihara play, because he always manages to make the gameplay interesting

-Now for Christmas... Tachihara secretly wants to celebrate Christmas with you so bad, because when he was younger his family unfortunately did not celebrate it with him. So go all out and celebrate Christmas in the most fun way possible! Buy heaps of gifts, decorate the entire house with Christmas lights, hang up Christmas stockings, just do everything with him! He’ll love it, and he’ll also fall in love with you more

-Definitely lights up a fire in the fireplace and watches good Christmas movies with you, alongside a nice hot cup of cocoa or hot chocolate. Also cuddles with you wrapped in blankets on the couch, and it’s just really nice and cosy

-Also sings a lot of Christmas karaoke with you. I feel like he would be great at singing if he removed the roughness in his voice. I headcanon he likes singing ‘All I Want For Christmas Is You’, because it’s such a nostalgic song

-Christmas is his favourite celebration now, because he can spend it with you 💗

Teruko:

-Having Teruko as a best friend means that she’s dragging you to a lot of places to hang out in the holidays

-Most of the time she would go shopping or swimming at the beach. Teruko would definitely swim out to the farthest distance she could, and she will throw a tantrum if people tell her that she couldn’t. If you tell her that the sea could easily sweep her away or if there’s dangerous marine life out there, it just makes her more adamant to swim out. She’ll even wrestle a shark if that meant she could swim as far as she wanted lmao Teruko please don’t

-Teruko is going to buy whatever is on discount. And when I say whatever, I mean whatever. Mostly she’ll buy stuff that she thinks Fukuchi likes, but she’ll also be happy to buy stuff that you like too! Teruko will mostly judge stuff and be picky, but the stuff that she thinks are good are actually the best quality. So always trust Teruko’s gut on which items are good or not

-Working out in the gym together! Don’t underestimate Teruko’s small stature, because she can just use her ability and suddenly turn into a very strong woman. She might even have competitions with you to see who can lift the heaviest weights and who could run the fastest on the treadmill she always wins lmao

-But sometimes even extraverts need to recharge. On those times Teruko is just perfectly happy to chill with you, talking about whatever comes to mind. Or you two would watch a tv show or a movie, sometimes judging the film if it was bad

-Also don’t be surprised if Teruko rocks up to your house and announces that she’s booked a trip to a nearby island for a day. She loves planning surprises, and frankly speaking those islands that she drags you to are pretty nice, with lots of activities to do on them. And she will cover the cost, but it would be nice if you treated her to some food and stuff (dw being a Hunting Dog means you’re rich)

-Amusement parks!!! Teruko loves going on rides, especially the ones that are super tall and big and with a lot of twists and turns. But prepare yourself for a lot of her tantrums, because she’s always too short for the ride lol. Teruko ends up using her ability in the end, but she is very vocal at expressing her annoyance

-And just because it’s the holidays, doesn’t mean that she’ll stop asking for piggyback rides. In fact, her requests for piggyback rides will double. Teruko won’t force you to give her a piggyback ride if you were really tired, but be prepared to give her a lot of piggyback rides the next day

-Now onto Christmas! Teruko would love celebrating Christmas with you, and she normally would go to a restaurant with you to have a Christmas dinner. She might even invite Fukuchi and the rest of the Hunting Dogs, and by the end of it Fukuchi is so drunk, Tecchou mixes a lot of suspicious food combinations, Jouno is ready to murder everyone, Tachihara is close to crying, and Teruko is also drinking with Fukuchi. Good luck dealing with them, but don’t worry because Jouno and Tachihara are surprisingly good at dealing with these stuff

-Teruko definitely invites you over to her house on Christmas. She sets up a pine tree, decorates it nicely, hangs flashy Christmas lights and stockings everywhere, basically just going all out with decorations. If you pay close attention, you might even catch her singing some Christmas songs when she thinks she is alone. Don’t tell her you saw though, because Teruko will threaten to punch you

-You two would also spend Christmas singing Christmas songs and watching Christmas movies. Teruko is definitely in a much more energetic mood, and she will be wishing everybody a ‘Merry Christmas’ before you two go to sleep (Jouno was so confused lmao)

@pixyys @pianotross @yuugen-benni @the-mourning-stars @xxelfmamaxx @nekokinax @catzlivedforbsd @i-just-like-goats

[dc418writes]

•Baby’s First Hanukkah•

✨Pairing✨: Ari Levinsonxblack!reader

Summary🪄: A surprise visit leads to an emotional first day of Hanukkah (Operation:Rekindle addition)

⚠️: Ari (😏….y’all know lol), bit of angst in this one, fluff, mention of pregnancy

A/N🎙️: ✨Happy belated Hanukkah and Merry belated Christmas to those who celebrated! And Happy Holidays to everyone who doesn’t celebrate✨! I intended this to be out wayy earlier but here we are lol also I hope the explanation I have for Hanukkah is correct, but if there’s something I need to change please let me know☺️

*Disclaimer!: although collage was made by me, I DO NOT CLAIM OWNERSHIP of pictures used as they were all found on Pinterest*

“Not celebrating Christmas?,” your mother asks with arms crossed and a raised perfectly arched brow. Clearly not pleased with the words that just slipped past your lips.

“I didn’t say that. I just said we’re not gonna make it to the party this year. We wanna stay in and be with ourselves instead you know? We’ll still come Christmas Day.”

“Which is perfectly fine,” your father interjects before your mother could say anything more. “Right Tori?”

You knew this would happen. It’s exactly why you planned to call her the night before with your fool proof excuse of having caught a stomach bug and needing to stay in. No one would get hurt and you could freely spend that evening with Ari. Plus you wouldn’t have to dance around the actual reason you were skipping your family’s annual Christmas soirée.

However, your mother’s perfect timing and knack for pop up visits sent that down the river in a fiery pile of ashes.

“Well, could’ve fooled me with all the Hanukkah decorations and lack of Christmas tree,” she retorts waving her hand back and forth emphasizing the decorations you already set.

“I still have to put it up,” you answer focused on making sure the menorah was properly centered on the island. Or maybe it’d look better on the other table? “And, as I’ve told you before, Ari is Jewish. So these decorations are for him, and to make it feel like his place just as much as it is mine.”

“Mm..and where is Mr. Ari so he can help?”

“He’s still sleeping-,”

“And leaving you with all the work.” A humorless “tuh” huffs from Tori’s lungs as she turns towards your father. “Some boyfriend huh Howard?”

“He was up late studying,” you state finally facing your parents standing in your living room. Your facial muscles working overtime trying to keep your annoyance and anger hidden.

Unknown to you, Ari was wide awake on the other side of the wall in your bedroom hearing every word since your parents stepped over the threshold. Heartbeat already elevated on where this conversation would go.

“Look, I know you’re in love with him-,”

“Tori,” your father tries to warn, but you both knew nothing was stopping her.

“But that doesn’t mean you have to do everything together. Couples can have separate lives sweet girl.”

“I know, and we do-,”

“So it’s settled then! You’ll rightly be with us, you’re family, for Christmas as usual and he’ll be with his,” she smiles. “Which then leaves New Years for you two spending time together.”

Ari didn’t have to be out there to know you were growing frustrated. He could already see your jaw tick and nostrils slightly flare. Feel the heat radiate from your skin to the surrounding air.

“Ari’s my family too.”

“Yea you’re close, but-,”

“No, because he’s my husband,” you reveal in a flurry of words; exasperated with the idea of this conversation continuing.

“That’s sweet of you to claim him for your future-,”

“I’m not talking about the future mom, I mean now! We..we got married in July. At the courthouse.”

Unsurprisingly, there’s a long silence as your parents stand blinking at you. Their expressions unreadable and solely trained on you even when Ari quietly strides by your side in his college tee and sweats.

Your mother’s eyes eventually drift to your hand where your ring prettily sat on your finger. It was simple with just a single diamond that some would consider small, but it was all you needed. And you loved that ring because of the man that gave it to you.

“So that’s not a promise ring like you said,” she calmly states. Everyone around could feel her rising anger though.

“Well technically it is. Just for a..legally binding promise,” you nervously smile. It quickly falls at the sight of their disappointment. “This wasn’t how I wanted to tell you.”

“After five months it seems like you weren’t planning to tell us at all Y/N!”

Ari desperately wanted to come to your rescue and try to calm everyone, but what could he really say to help? He’s tried before when he felt your mother was being too tough on you while in school scolding you on what you should be doing and when. How you needed to be putting yourself out there in as many clubs and organizations as you could to network and possibly get an internship. Maybe even a job right out of college.

“She’s doing really well and always trying her best Mrs. Y/L/N,” he states standing across your mother on the opposite side of the kitchen island. However, she’s more concerned with perfecting the cake batter in front of her than to look him in the eyes. “I-I get you want the best for her-,”

“Exactly, I want the best for my daughter as any parent does their child,” she calmly replies - scarily calm in fact - lifting her head to finally meet his nervous blues. “Something I know you wouldn’t fully understand seeing as though you have no children. Correct?”

“Right..”

“So until that day comes- actually no, even if that day comes, I suggest you refrain from trying to suggest how I parent my daughter. Understood Ari?”

Nervously shifting from one foot to the other, he agrees with a quiet, “Understood,” and a slight tip of his head before his presence is ignored once again by your now sweetly humming mother.

Since then, he’s kept his interactions with her short - and she’s pretty much done the same on her end.

“I’ll be in the car,” she says after the most tense moment of silence any of them had ever experienced.

“Mom I’m sorry.” Your apology falls on deaf ears as she continues forward striding through the door and letting it slam with a loud thud that rattled the wall. “She hates me.”

“No she doesn’t,” your father sighs stepping close enough to give your shoulder a sympathetic squeeze. “Neither of us could ever hate you. We’re just hurt.”

A lone tear falls as he places a kiss to your temple and you feel your heart ache. You knew the consequences of your actions all those months ago as you stood hand in hand with Ari in front of the judge. Nothing could have prepared you for actually having to endure those consequences though.

“Don’t worry, I’ll take care of mom sweet pea. We’ll see you guys on Christmas,” he painfully smiles before making his way out the door as well.

But not without Ari close on his heels catching him halfway down the wooden steps outside your door.

“Mr. Y/L/N it’s my fault. I’m the one who brought up the idea of getting married,” Ari admits with guilt etched into his strong features. “Be more upset with me than you are with her.”

Your father can’t help the small smile that forms on his lips at your husband’s attempt to make things right. Since their first meeting, he could see how he’d gladly do whatever was needed to make you happy. How protective he was and completely enamored by everything that was you. It warmed his heart that you found someone who loved you possibly just as much as he did.

He realized then his prayer for you to be taken care of by a good man had been answered.

“Ari this is no one’s fault, alright? You both are grown, so if you want to get married you have every right. As far as us though, that’s our little girl who we dreamed of walking down the aisle and giving away. Gifting her with a big wedding where we could all celebrate that next stage of life with her and her husband. To not even be invited or told beforehand what was gonna happen it’s..,” he sighs briefly letting his eyes wander trying to find the right words, “it’s as if someone slapped us right across the face before the punch to the gut.”

Ari’s face falls in shame putting himself in the older man’s shoes. Of course he didn’t regret marrying you, but looking back he should’ve pushed more for you to be open with your parents. To not be afraid of their reaction and firm in that this was your decision.

Instead, he went along with your promise of telling them later so clouded by the joy and excitement of being wed to the love of his life.

“It might sound dramatic, but if you decide to have children you’ll understand.”

“No, I-I get it..and I’m sorry.”

Your father nods appreciatively, “Just give us some time son. We’ll be okay.”

Son. That was a good sign right?

“Happy Hanukkah Ari. And take care of my baby girl.”

“Of course sir,” he smiles. “Thank you.”

With a final wave goodbye, he watches your father descend the steps joining your mother in the running car; definitely still upset from the scowl twisting her face as she gazed out the passenger window.

He can hear your sniffles as he re-enters the linen scented space quickening his feet until he can sit next to you on the couch rubbing circles in your back and kissing your forehead.

“That’s definitely not what I wanted you to wake up to,” you half heartedly chuckle wiping your watery eyes.

“Hey don’t worry about that. I’m just sorry I even put you in the situation in the first place when I brought up getting married at the courthouse.”

Your fingers find his jaw softly scratching the bit of scruff lining it as you carefully shift to sit in his lap. “It was still my decision though. And yes I should’ve told them sooner..but I wouldn’t change how and when we got married,” you smile leaving two kisses, sweet as honey, on his lips. A beat of comfortable silence falls over the two of you while he holds you close to his chest gently rocking back and forth. Both of you taking in the sounds of birds and children outside for a few minutes as he occasionally pecks your temple and your heartbeats mold into a similar rhythm.

“Now,” you begin, sitting up to clear your face of any remaining streaks and tears, “I distinctly remember you promising to teach me all about Hanukkah. And cook me every dish until my stomach feels like it’s gonna pop.”

“Sweetheart, it’s okay you don’t-,”

“A promise is a promise Ari!,” you dramatically state with a poke to his well built chest making his lips curl in a light chuckle. “Plus I want to. Like I said you’re my family too, and I wanna learn and explore everything about you.”

When he thought he couldn’t love you any more than he already did, there you were adorably making him fall even harder.

“Okay…so there was once a king named Antiochus, who ruled over Syria and lived outside of Israel. Now this king was horrible and so absorbed with himself, he ordered everyone in the countries he conquered to worship the Gods he did and abandon their usual practices. Eventually, he made his way to Israel where he enforced that order on the Jews and even went as far as commanding his soldiers to destroy our temples if the people weren’t willing to convert them. Unfortunately, this included the most beautiful of them that was in Jerusalem.”

Your attention stayed glued on the man with his arms around you, looking up with an adoring smile to see his eyes sparkle and how his lips moved filling your living room with a deep voice full of passion and animation. You didn’t have to ask to know he was the favorite among his little cousins for storytelling.

“Some followed the king’s orders to avoid trouble, but there were others, like Judah Maccabee, who stood up to him. He and his brothers formed an army to go against Antiochus and the Syrian army to take back their home and free his people from the king’s rule. They were outnumbered, I’m talking like middle schoolers up against a professional team, but they won! They reclaimed Jerusalem and everyone was thrilled, however when they entered the temple in Jerusalem, everything was ruined. The floor was cracked, gold pitchers tarnished, and most importantly, there was no oil to light the menorah. They found a little while cleaning up, but knew it’d only last through the night. Instead though, they were surprised to watch it stay lit for eight days and nights, which they took as a sign that God was with them. So in remembrance of that miracle and our own reminder of how God is always with us, we light a candle on the menorah each night for eight total nights. Plus we spend time with family, eat food, and play games as part of our complete Hanukkah celebration,” Ari smiles brushing a loose curl behind your ear. “Didn’t bore you too much did I?”

“Of course not. I loved it honey.” Wrapping your arms around his neck, you peck his lips before nuzzling your face against his warm skin taking in his wood and sage cologne. “I can’t wait until you get to tell it to our kids.”

“Me either, but we still got a good while for that beautiful.”

“Or..it might come sooner than you think..”

“Maybe,” he shrugs.

“Like this summer,” you add being met with silence as you felt his head tilt. Something he tended to do when in thought or confused.

Gently lifting you from his chest, the sight of you nervously biting your lip is all the answer he needs as his expression morphs from confused to disbelief and finally shock. “B-But wait..how- when-?”

“Halloween and our um after party when we left your cousin’s. I’m nearly two months so I just did the math in my head and figured.” Thinking back, he remembers how both of you seemed to be unable to keep your hands off the other as soon as you walked through your apartment door. Him being in some type of hypnotic, aroused trance after watching you play with his toddler cousins and you after just seeing him with his family period. How you couldn’t wait to give him one of his own.

“I-I know it’s not part of our plan right now, especially with you in grad school and me figuring out my stuff-,”

“But it’s okay. We got this.” You hadn’t realized you were crying until you feel his thumb brush along your cheeks. Having kept your stress hidden for all this time, and what happened with your parents earlier, it was probably time to get your emotions out whether you wanted to or not.

“I just hope I live long enough to meet little bug,” he chuckles pressing his nose to your cheek before resting his forehead on yours. “You know your parents are definitely gonna kill me when they find out.”

“They won’t, but if they try I’ll just stand in front of you. They wouldn’t hurt the pregnant lady carrying their grandchild.”

“We might need to be handcuffed together for the rest of your pregnancy then.”

Taglist: @celestianstars @stargirlfics @fumbling-fanfics @lady-olive-oil @themyscxiras @melinda-january @lovelymari4 @adoreyouusugar @lovebittenbyevans @royalwriteroftheuniverse @omg-mymelaninisbeautiful @theartisticqueen @chrisevans-world @literaturelove @ivorylei @elrw24 @pono-pura-vida @yinx1 @justile @sunsetfreedom05 @jackiekae @luvingmyships @give-me-a-million-dollars-pls @bekinds @maxcullen @curlyhairclub @plokyu23 @fullofmelaninsarcasmandepression @nunubug99 @felicity-x0 @ellixthea @jojolu @jnk-812 @captainsamwlsn @wildfirecracker @nina-sj @iammyownlover @chaneajoyyy @thesecretlifeofdaydreamss

[mostlymaudlin]

ooooooh ok juicy sfc posts happening !! i rly honestly truly love to see it. here's my unasked for two cents, as someone who did find the story really hopeful. im posting this not to like, discourse or disagree or discount what im seeing, but to just maybe offer a different pov for ppl who might be trying to file this story away in a less devastating way.

i, of course, think baz deserves better than what he gets from his family. we all deserve to have families that love us unconditionally, and so many of us DONT have that -- including baz. that hurts !! i also think simon didn't deserve to lose his magic, and penny didn't deserve to take on the sole responsibility for keeping simon safe, and agatha didnt deserve to be shoved into every princess/damsel role ppl cast on her, etc etc. 

what i like so much abt this series is that ppl dont get what they deserve, but theyre still okay. its why i also love the end of awtwb -- simons LICH ER ALL Y crying lol. he got a whole mega-bucket of extra trauma dumped on his plate that he hasnt even started to process. but its still so clear that he's got the support he needs to live a good life alongside this terrible knowledge. the mage fucked him over even more than he knew, but he doesnt have to define himself by these terms anymore -- we've seen his growth in this regard.

bazs main arc in the series is about how he sees himself -- in crudely simple terms, he rly wants to be a Good Guy (you know, not a vampire, straight, a good pitch etc etc) but sees himself as cursed with that impossibility. this continues as his idealized Good Guy self develops over the course of the books into something that actually feels more achievable to him and is less reliant on the shit his family put on him growing up. 

the cool thing about snow for christmas is that -- just like when simon finds out abt the mage at the end of awtwb -- we get to see baz's new sense of self tested. we get to see what he's using to draw the lines of morality. and we get to see that while of course he still cares about what his family thinks, and it still causes him anxiety and trauma and all the shitty things that he doesnt deserve -- he has grown from that place where their value system can make him hate himself.

and moreso on the hope part -- the grimms value, above all, the ability to fit into the roles they think theyre supposed to hold. its bullshit, and they've both caused themselves problems and absolutely are fucking up their children. daphne fully had to be saved by a cult bc of it and shes still not over that mindset -- these ppl need therapy lol. so it's def sick n twisted that they're celebrating baz being able to hide better rather than celebrating who baz is, but is this not the utmost sign of love that they're capable of? baz gets to fit in better -- that's all they've ever wanted for him, whether we agree with that or not. baz seems to recognize the balance of this in the story. he narrates the rest of the dinner with a sort of dry, relieved, disbelieving tone. it’s like hes huffing a laugh, shaking his head, thinking, “did i really used to pin so much of myself on this stuff? how silly.” he is not distressed bc he understands his parents, and he has, again, divorced his sense of self from their expectations. so much so tht he says fuck it and gives simon the lil kissy at the end, because THIS is his new value system: he ALWAYS kisses simon goodbye!

so, is this a step forward for the grimms being more supportive parents? yeah, maybe not. maybe it never gets better than baz hiding his fangs at dinner and everyone doing the bare minimum to accept simon's role in baz’s life. that's not what baz and simon deserve. but it could be enough, because simon and baz have different ways that they measure their happiness by. they have each other and penny and shep and ruth and agatha and niamh and every other person they'll meet in the many, many years ahead of them whose opinions they can choose to make important to them, or reject. i love this for them! the true queer hope story imo. thats what i want for myself and for the people i love. 

to be clear: this story made me sob so hard i scared my cats. (im not rly a crier, they did not know what to do). i had to put it down in the middle because i couldnt see the page. any queer person who has Family Shit is bound to get whammied lol. but! i personally find comfort in the idea that we can coexist with people who are important to us but also very difficult to be around, even if its not totally what we deserve. its a very quiet, somber hope -- but that only makes it feel more real to me. 

[thelazyhermits]

Recently, I came up with a super cute TWST idea, and since it's Christmas-related, I decided to make a post about it for today. I'll put everything under the cut.

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays, everyone!! 😊💕💕

Okay, so in the past, I've stated that I don't think Christmas is an actual holiday in TW since there's never any indication of it being a holiday, so as far as my TWST series is concerned, it's only a holiday in Yuu's world.

Despite Christmas not being a thing in TW, Yuu still decided to get presents for her friends cause she had always wanted to celebrate the holiday with friends, so even if she couldn't do anything else related to the holday, she wanted to at least give her friends gifts.

Originally, I had planned on that being the extent of what Yuu did for Christmas, but then, a new idea hit me, which is why this post came about.

This new idea involves the Ramshackle Ghosts wanting to do something special for Yuu/Grim during the winter break, and they do this by making use of all the Christmas-related info they've gained from Yuu who was more than happy to tell them all about the holiday from her world.

After learning about Christmas and seeing how much Yuu really wants to celebrate it, the Ramshackle Ghosts decide that they'll throw a Christmas party for her and Grim during the winter break since they think that'll be a great way to make this break more enjoyable for Yuu/Grim who don't have anywhere to go during the break like the majority of the student body.

However, there's only so much the ghosts can do on their own. That's why they reach out to Sam before winter break begins cause he's told them in the past to get in contact with him if Yuu ever needs anything but is unwilling to ask since she's not the type to depend on adults, even when she really should.

Upon learning about Christmas and their plans to throw a party for Yuu/Grim from Ramshackle Ghosts, Sam immediately agrees to lend a hand since he wants Yuu to have something to enjoy during the upcoming winter break.

Plus, this is the perfect way to give gifts to Yuu since she won't be able to refuse them if they're given in the spirit of this holiday, which is an ideal arrangement to Sam who would really like to be able to dote on her a little, although he mostly just wants to ensure she has everything that he thinks she needs to live comfortably since he doesn't like how she always seems to be making sacrifices on her part in order to take care of Grim.

But Sam also does want to just spoil her since he's become rather fond of his favorite employee. So he'll get her practical stuff he knows she needs around the dorm as well as things he knows she'd be happy to receive like books, cute cat-related items, cooking supplies she normally can’t afford, etc.

Because he knows he's not the only one who feels this way, Sam also contacts the NRC faculty cause he knows Crewel would immediately take advantage of this opportunity to give Yuu clothes cause Crewel hates how the majority of Yuu's wardrobe consists of used clothes she's gotten from her friends lol 😂

Being a girl dad, Trein would also feel compelled to contribute to this cause but he'd probably focus on practical gifts useful for school, although he might add in at least one thing that's cat-related, saying it's a gift from Lucius haha

Meanwhile, Vargas is eagerly buying her some weights, sweatpants, protein powder, and anything else he thinks will be helpful to her building her muscles lol 😂

When Crowley hears about what the others are doing, he feels obligated to do something for Yuu too, especially when the other adults are all having a group discussion about it and giving him some not so subtle looks lol

In the end, I think Crowley would just provide extra food, like what he gave them in canon plus more, claiming that he's providing a crucial part of the party, especially considering how much Grim can eat haha

Thanks to the adults, the Ramshackle Ghosts are able to get everything they'll need for a Christmas party: a tree, presents, decorations, food, etc.

What's even better, the Ramshackle Ghosts are able to make it a complete surprise for Yuu/Grim thanks to Book 4 events since that keeps Yuu/Grim out of the dorm for several days since dealing with Jamil took a few days and then Yuu/Grim spent another couple of days at Scarabia after Jamil's OB due to her ending up with a fever since Jamil didn't want her to leave until she fully recovered.

So, when Yuu/Grim finally return to Ramshackle, they're beyond surprised to find its interior completely decked out with Christmas-esque decorations, and they're especially astonished by the large amount of presents underneath the Christmas tree.

Yuu is even more shocked when she finds out from the Ramshackle Ghosts that the NRC adults helped make this all happen since she's so unaccustomed to adults treating her so nicely/going out of their way for her sake. This kind of thing would've never happened back in her world.

While she doesn't think Sam and the others are like Mumei and the other adults from her past, Yuu still has a hard time trusting adults, even though she does like Sam and the others. (In the case of Crowley, it just depends on the day lol 😂)

That's why Yuu can't stop herself from wondering if there's a catch since why else would these adults do all this when there's nothing in it for them?

However, once Yuu hears about all the planning the Ramshackle Ghosts had been doing with the NRC adults, mostly Sam/Crewel, during the weeks leading up to the start of winter break, she realizes there truly aren't any ulterior motives here. They really just wanted to do something nice for her and Grim.

Once she comes to that realization, Yuu gets pretty emotional but thankfully manages to keep herself from actually crying. She's just so touched that there are people that would actually go to such lengths for her sake.

Fortunately, Grim provides a much needed distraction when he demands that they start opening presents cause, of course, that's what he'd focus on since the food provided by Crowley is in the fridge since the Ramshackle Ghosts thought it'd be better to leave it to Yuu to decide when to get all that out for the party they wanna have.

Since, by this point, I'd say it's either Christmas Eve or Christmas Day, Yuu agrees to opening presents since she's also excited about opening her first ever Christmas presents.

Yuu and Grim have a great time opening presents since they love all the presents they were given, although Grim does complain about all the practical gifts and the muscle-building ones he got.

(Much to Grim's delight, pretty much everyone gave him a can of tuna since it's well-known how much he loves the stuff lol)

One of the presents Yuu especially got excited about was the Christmas sweater Crewel made for her, which she was amazed by how authentic it looked considering the only kind of reference he would've had is whatever he heard from the Ramshackle Ghosts.

Yuu immediately puts on the sweater and the fuzzy cat socks she got from Trein, which she will definitely be wearing for the rest of the day.

Yuu also loved the books and sewing/knitting supplies she got from the Ramshackle Ghosts who know her tastes well thanks to living with her the last few months.

After they finish opening presents, Grim starts complaining about being hungry, so Yuu decides to get to work on getting the food provided by Crowley ready.

It's during this time that Floyd calls Yuu, asking her if she and Grim want to come over to the Mostro Lounge to eat lunch with him, Jade, and Azul since it's boring when it's just the three of them eating together.

This leads to Yuu inviting the Octatro over to join the Ramshackle Christmas party since she figures the more people, the better, and she wants to enjoy the party the Ramshackle Ghosts prepared but also spend time with her friends if they're available.

Unsurprisingly, Floyd is all for going to a party since that sounds way more fun than what they've got going on at the Mostro Lounge, and once he tells Jade about it, Jade agrees since it sounds fun and because this is another opportunity to learn more about Yuu's world.

Azul doesn't trust the twins to behave themselves, so he also comes. Plus, he's also curious about what a Christmas party is like.

After that call ends, Yuu decides to also send an invitation to Kalim and Jamil, and of course, Kalim is all too happy to come since he'd never turn down a party invitation.

Since Kalim is coming, that means Jamil has to as well, but since he's curious about this otherworldly holiday, he doesn't mind attending, although he's definitely not pleased about seeing the Octatrio once they all get to Ramshackle lol

Since the Octatrio and the Scarabia duo all bring food since they wanted to contribute to the party, there ends up being quite the feast which Grim is naturally very happy about.

Kalim and Floyd get a big kick out of the Christmas decorations and excitedly check out every nook and cranny of the dorm that's decorated.

Meanwhile, the other three are much more calm as they observe everything that's so foreign to them.

In the end, they all find themselves liking the Christmas decor, but Kalim is definitely the biggest fan of it - to the point he wants to start hosting Christmas parties from now on and make it a holiday in the Scalding Sands, much to Jamil's exasperation.

Aside from enjoying the decorations and food, I like the idea of everyone playing games for entertainment and also maybe exchanging stories about what's commonly done in their hometowns during this time of year.

All in all, Yuu has a great first ever Christmas since she's able to spend it with her friends and have all this fun with them - fun that she would've never experienced back in her world.

It's a memory she'll treasure for the rest of her life.

[ryuichirou]

I'm back with my GloMas ask. By the way I love the word GloMas: it's like Christmas but more theatrical and angsty, and at the end of all the celebration, instead of getting presents, you end up with less stuff than before (no need to check Ruggie's luggage, officer. I can assure there's nothing interesting there).

On to the question, which is partially about Ruggie. This event has brought to light a new interesting dynamic that I hadn't really considered before, with the Ruggie/Jamil team up. It's nice to see Jamil be himself (i.e. a menace) more unapologetically than usual. I don't really ship them as a "couple", but I definetely see their appeal as potential "acquaintances-with-benefits". And I bet Ruggie would be happy to hear less grumbling when he decides to pay a visit to the rich boys Scarabia dorm. Basically, I'm curious to know if you guys have any thoughts about these two, both related to the event and in general!

Anon!! Sorry for the late reply, and let me go grab that loud mic I used a couple of days ago once again and tell you.

YES. These two. These two are very good together.

For the most part I want to just yell YES at everything you’ve said because you’ve honestly nailed it. Glorious Masquerade (with its Christmas-like Glomas glory..) was the first event we’d seen (even before we watched the main story), so Jamil and Ruggie’s unexpected chemistry is something that we have in mind at all times lol

It really feels like they can be themselves around each other, which is exactly what they said, and honestly these two out of the entire cast really deserved it. What they also deserved is to have someone to complain about the harsh realities of serving to capricious princes (Kalim isn’t a prince but) who are unreasonable and frankly stupid at times. Just imagine THE LEVELS OF PETTY AND TIRED VENTING, their venting sessions could be the best.

I don’t know if you wanted any headcanons with them, but since we’re at it, might as well drop some. These are mostly sfw, but the last one kind of isn’t lol

They knew that they might be a good match even before the Glorious Masquerade but never really had a chance to hang out before that. And during the event, to them it felt like they’ve been having telepathic dialogues for ages, and now finally they get to actually chat. They’re on the same page TO SUCH A DEGREE it’s actually stupid.

Even after the event, even though both Ruggie and Jamil went back to being super busy, they kept in touch. Sometimes they text each other, sometimes they meet simply to VENT. Having another person who is done of everyone’s bullshit in this stupid school is a blessing. They also talk about other stuff, like cooking and hobbies and even scheming and such, but their main topic is still “wow I hate these people”.

What they find the most comforting about each other is the fact that they know they are not really friends, but they also don’t have much to gain from each other, so it’s not like they should expect a backstab at any point. It’s actually pretty rare for Jamil to be this relaxed like he is when he is around Ruggie.

They don’t have sex regularly, but they did it once during the Masquerade event and at least once when they came back to the NRC. Both of them aren’t too into sex, otherwise it probably would have happened more often. Ruggie is actually a much better option to have this “acquaintances-with-benefits” deal than Azul, because with Ruggie Jamil can be sure there won’t be any feelings attached to it: they’ll help each other out and will be on their merry way…

[cal-daisies-and-briars]

⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️ AND 👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑 (are you shocked lol)

Hey!!! I’m just surprised you asked for more than one thing lol!

57 for⚡️

—-

“What are you smiling at?” Buck asks after a second, when it’s clear Eddie is more interested in his thoughts than his smoothie.

Eddie just winks. “I’ve got a lot to be smiling about.”

🗲🗲🗲

Not that Buck expected any differently, based on his conversations, but everyone at work is happy for them, too. It’s sort of just a happy time at the 118, more generally. Chim and Maddie married. Buck and Eddie engaged. Hen and Karen working to adopt their foster daughter, Mara. Everyone is doing well.

“Let Athena and I throw you a party to celebrate,” Bobby asks on their first shift after the proposal.

“A party?” Buck asks.

“An engagement party,” Bobby insists.

Buck grins. This feels like some sort of honor. He hadn’t done this for Chim. In fact, the Lees had done it for Chim. The people who were pretty much Chim’s parents. More important than his parents.

“That would mean a lot, Bobby. Thank you.” Buck tells him.

“That’s really kind,” Eddie agrees.

Bobby smiles warmly. “Good. Leave it to me. I’ll send you some dates.”

Buck feels sort of surreal about the whole thing, truly. He’s engaged. To Eddie. Probably the coolest person on earth to be engaged to. Definitely the coolest person, actually. And the people he loves beyond that are eager to celebrate him. Oh, and they are also going to have another kid at some point. Insane. Insanely, fantastically perfect. He wishes he could step back in time and tell his past self this is where he’d end up. He wouldn’t have believed it.

He wouldn’t have believed he’d get here. He wouldn’t have believed someone would want to be here with him. The fact that it’s Eddie? Somehow totally magical and entirely sensible all at the same time.

☆☆☆

The honeymoon-like bubble that follows their engagement pops after a few days. And it’s sort of Eddie’s fault.

It’s not that it pops in the way that anything bad happens. They don’t fight or anything like that. More like, Eddie makes the unfortunate but probably ultimately necessary choice to talk plans. Not just wedding plans, like Chris has been bugging them to do. But, like, all of them. What does any of what they’ve decided on look like, logistically?

Unfortunately, logistics aren’t always sexy or romantic. They’re… Logistical.

Eddie brings this up during a dinner where Christopher is not present. Hanging out at a friend’s, luckily for them.

—-

60 for 👑:

—-

“Be right there,” Chim replies, distracted. He walks away from the Christmas card, determined to forget about it.

Of course, he doesn’t.

👑👑👑

He Googles them later that day, during some downtime at the station. He shouldn’t. It makes him feel creepy. But he does it anyway.

He doesn’t Google Maddie. He’d like to make this clear. Just her parents. Really, just her father.

He, as it turns out, is the primary owner and stakeholder in a company called Castle Restaurant Group. He and another partner own a series of fine dining - really upscale places - around the state. Primarily Los Angeles. Chim searches through them. They’re the kind of places frequented by celebrities; athletes, pop stars, real housewives.

Yeah, these people have money.

Chim locks his phone and puts it away. There’s no point thinking about her.

Not that he gets much of a chance anyway. Twenty minutes later, Captain Wallen sits them down and tells them he’s leaving. After their next four off, on New Year’s Eve, a new Captain will be starting. Some guy called Nash out of Minnesota.

Chim has given up hoping that they’ll be good. The least he can hope for is that this one isn’t another Gerrard.

iii.

If he had any chance of forgetting about her, those chances are dashed on December 29th. Chimney is off work, making a pretty run of the mill grocery trip, when he runs into her again. What are the damn chances?

Chim likes going to a supermarket right beside a Portuguese bakery. It’s a bit out of the way, but the bakery makes it all worth it. The bread and pastries are truly beyond compare. Plus, it always makes Hen smile when he brings her an egg tart at the beginning of a shift.

It is at this bakery, with Chim’s groceries sitting in the car, that he runs into Maddie. He’s halfway through placing an order when she walks into the shop, bell on the door chiming to announce her arrival. Chim glances over his shoulder; nothing more than compulsory curiosity. He does a double take when he realizes it’s her, nearly dropping his debit card onto the floor.

Maddie is dressed in simple jeans and a powder blue sweater. She looks soft and striking all at once.

“Oh,” Maddie exclaims, looking at him. “I know you!”

Chim blinks. “You do?”

As if he doesn’t know exactly what she’s talking about. He’s just floored that she recognized him.

“You were the paramedic at the mall!”

“Yes!” Chim confirms. “With Santa.”

“Is he okay?” Maddie asks.

“Well, we don’t get follow ups,” Chim admits. “But he was stable when we left him.”

“Oh good,” Maddie smiles. It’s such a kind smile. “That’s good to hear.”

The clerk at the counter clear her throat, signaling to Chim that he's holding up the process.

“Right, sorry,” he mutters. He looks back at Maddie. “One sec?”

Maddie nods.

Chim turns back to the clerk and finishes his order as quickly as possible.